Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Familicide motivation

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Feedback from Louise[edit source]

Your chapter is looking awesome. The 'overview' really sparked my interest and the quotes and case studies help to make the topic real. I like the way you have clearly defined the key terms used and linked to another chapter within the body of your chapter. I am looking forward to seeing how you bring it all together in the 'conclusion'.

The following report might help provide further context and ideas for future research and reducing the prevalence: Australian Domestic and Family Violence Death Review Network - Data Report 2018 --Louise Wheeler (discusscontribs) 00:27, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

@Louise Wheeler: Hi Louise, thank you so much I really appreciate that! That is a very interesting article, thank you for bringing it to my attention! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 03:26, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

Journal article suggestion[edit source]

Hey, I was having a look through your book chapter thus far and I found the information really interesting and I can't wait to see the finished product! I had a quick look at some peer-reviewed journal articles and I came across one that I thought might be of interest to you, called 'patterns of multiple familicy homicide' from the UC Library; I hope you find this useful!--U3097480 (discusscontribs) 06:41, 23 August 2018 (UTC)

@U3097480: Hi, thank you so much for your contribution! I'll definitely take the article into consideration when writing and researching for the familicide section of the chapter. The article looks super interesting, thank you again! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 01:58, 24 August 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion for sources[edit source]

Hey. Youre chapter is coming along really well and I found it very interesting, looks like youll get some good marks, especially with integrating theory!  Feel free to have a look at my chapter (elder abuse impacts on emotion) as I have a table on there that describes some of the theories as to why elder abuse may occur; and I think you may be able to integrate a few of them into yours. --Emeraldcahill94 (discusscontribs) 05:47, 7 October 2018 (UTC)
@Emeraldcahill94: Hi, thank you! I'll be sure to check that out :) --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 05:16, 8 October 2018 (UTC)

News article[edit source]

Hi there, this sounds like a really interesting topic! I was looking at news articles about parents killing their children and came across this article about a mother who killed her young son - it might make for some interesting reading. Hope your research goes well! --U3117719 (discusscontribs) 04:54, 1 September 2018 (UTC)

@U3117719: Hi, thanks so much for your contribution! Wow that is a very scary and sad story, thank you for bringing it to my attention! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 07:25, 1 September 2018 (UTC)

Suggestion re: in text citations I noticed there are a few in text citations that do not adhere to APA formatting (mostly the year has not been included). Might be a good idea to check over this in the final edit. U3037801 (discusscontribs) 03:09, 7 October 2018 (UTC)

@U3037801: Hi there, thank you, I hadn't quite finished my editing yet, it should all be fixed now! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 05:33, 9 October 2018 (UTC)

Editing suggestions[edit source]

Hi, I really enjoyed reading this chapter. As someone doing a psychology/law double degree, criminology is one of my favourite areas to read about so this fit right in. I didn't realise that the statistic regarding being more likely to be killed by someone you know was gendered so that was interesting to learn. Your page is also visually really nice and interactive. My only suggestion would be that there are parts, particularly in the overview and conclusion where you have added an emotional tone. While this in itself isn't and issue, some of these emotive statements don't particularly add anything to the chapter. Some examples include the "and good reason" in the first sentence of the overview and "occur far too often" in the first sentence of the conclusion. Either way though, this was an interesting chapter. Good luck. - U3144461 4:58, 21 October 2018.

@U3144461: Hi there, thank you so much I really appreciate that! It sure is an interesting topic and I found many of the stats interesting during my research, if only I could include more! You're absolutely right about my tone, I guess I get a little carried away after reading so much tragedy, I have gone through and tried to fix that. Again, thank you! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 06:34, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Autoroute icone.svg

Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit source]

  1. Excellent

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. Perfect

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Logical, 2-level structure
  2. Consider introducing moving the case studies to the beginning of their respective sections

Key points[edit source]

  1. Show that a good understanding of the topic has been developed
  2. Provide useful overview of what will be covered
  3. Overview
    1. What is motivation? (don't really need to cover this - instead link to other relevant Wikiversity/Wikipedia resource(s)
  4. Conclusion
    1. Underdeveloped, yet is probably the most important section
    2. Consider how this section can serve to integrate understanding about the different types of familicide and different theories suggested for each type, especially as each of these theories can probably be applied to other types.

Image[edit source]

  1. Effectively used
  2. Consider developing captions so that the image is more clearly connected to/illustrative of key points in the text

References[edit source]

  1. Thorough
  2. Check and use APA style

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also - Excellent
  2. External links - Target an international audience

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:10, 28 September 2018 (UTC)

feedback[edit source]

Excellent topic, the various colours helps the flow and makes following it easy. one suggestion, maybe move the familcide section up the page as it is more an an introduction to the overall chapter. i hope that helps

@Jonathan Sheehan UC: Hi there, thanks for having a look at my chapter! Unfortunately your suggestion is too late, as this assignment is already submitted! But thank you anyway! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 03:42, 26 October 2018 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a real-world problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theories are well selected, described, and explained.

Research[edit source]

  1. Research is well selected, explained, and summarised in relation to theory and the practical problem.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages.
    2. The chapter addresses an international audience.
    3. Excellent use of case studies which are linked to theory and/or research.
    4. Sentences and paragraphs are well written and not too long or short.
    5. Use abbreviations sparingly. Do not use abbreviations for minor terms that aren't used very much in the chapter.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter was well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links are well used.
    2. Excellent use of images, tables, quizzes, case studies etc.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    2. Use serial commas.
    3. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    4. Excellent use of APA style for citations and references.

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  2. Images sources and copyright is well acknowledged.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:27, 12 November 2018 (UTC)