Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Emotion regulation in children

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Comments[edit]

Hi Maddie, for my topic on the Autonomic Nervous System and Emotions I have discovered some really helpful research on what physiologically happens when there is emotional disregualtion. I thought it might be helpful since you are exploring this topic. I have found research on patients with ADHD and Williams syndrome. That are very informative if you wanted to add anything phyiologcal or about emotion dysregualtion in your topic. --U3160678 (discusscontribs) 02:08, 2 September 2018 (UTC)

Hi Maddie, I fixed a grammatical error in the introduction and edited a sentence in the conclusion.--GabiK (discusscontribs) 02:49, 23 September 2018 (UTC)


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via Canvas. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Very good

User page[edit]

  1. Good

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Excellent
  2. Note: For latest APA style recommended format for dois see http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html

Section headings[edit]

  1. OK
  2. Main suggestion is to reduce generic focus on ER and concentrate more specifically on ER in children

Key points[edit]

  1. Excellent

Image[edit]

  1. Expand figure caption to explain how it relates to one or more key points in the text

References[edit]

  1. Excellent
  2. See earlier comment about doi formatting

Resources[edit]

  1. See also - Very good. Also provide links to related Wikiversity book chapters.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:49, 30 September 2018 (UTC)

Feedback and adding some hyperlinks[edit]

Hi Maddie

I really enjoyed reading your book chapter! I made some minor grammatical changes throughout the chapter, hopefully it helps Also, I was wondering if you some of your paragraphs were deliberately one sentence (e.g. theories used in emotion regulation) - as if they were a part of a bigger paragraph they might flow better The overview could also be slightly more detailed (e.g. add some focus questions, what will be covered in what order throughout the chapter)


Hope these improvements are timely and helpful!!

u3144311 - 2:05 21st October 2018


Minor edits[edit]

Hey there, loving the chapter, I managed to fix a dozen or so spelling errors throughout the text! Maybe also consider linking the book chapters in your 'see also' section the same way as other links in the box, so the reader can go directly to the page. Overall, well done! --U3160212 (discusscontribs) 06:16, 21 October 2018 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter. It makes excellent use of citations, interwiki links, and images. Theory is also well covered. It could be improved by making more indepth use of research, possibly adding a case study, and rewriting several sentences in order to address grammatical problems.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. Theories are well described and explained, with consideration of both facilitators and barriers to childhood emotion regulation.

Research[edit]

  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, although the focus questions weren't tailored to childhood.
    3. Some statements could be written more clearly - e.g., see the [Rewrite to improve clarity] tags
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with only one sub-section.
    2. The chapter was well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Excellent use of images.
    2. Interwiki links are very well used.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    2. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    4. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
    5. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  5. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Citations are very well used.
    3. References are very well formatted.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation that makes effective use of simple tools.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. Probably too much content is covered - be more selective and emphasise the higher-level, key points.
  3. The presentation is reasonably well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  4. Consider adding an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.

Communication[edit]

  1. Include the sub-title in the video title and on the opening slide - i.e., what is the question to be answered?
  2. Consider using some focus questions.
  3. Consider using more examples.
  4. Leave longer pauses in the narration between slides.
  5. Consider including less content and slowing the narration down.
  6. Consider leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  7. Include a conclusion - with take-home messages.

Production quality[edit]

  1. A link from the book chapter to the multimedia wasn't added (has now been included).
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality is very good.
  4. Images sources are well acknowledged.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:34, 12 November 2018 (UTC)