Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Broken-heart syndrome

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Very good

User page[edit source]

  1. Very good

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. 1 social contribution logged, but link to evidence doesn't show what was done. See suggestions for how to record social contributions.

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Reasonably good, clear 2-level heading structure
  2. Use question marks for questions (I've added them)

Key points[edit source]

  1. Basic key point development
  2. Lack of development of key points for Overview and Conclusion (the most important sections)
  3. Key citations not included

Image[edit source]

  1. 2 basic images provided
  2. Expand image captions in order to connect them more strongly to the body text.

References[edit source]

  1. OK, but references need to be cited in the key points
  2. Use APA style

Resources[edit source]

  1. Minimal, but sufficient
  2. See also - good choices of links; also see chapters from previous years and relevant Wikipedia content; rename to more user-friendly wiki links (I've done this, as an example). Use bullet-points (I've now added these).
  3. External links - None provided; the one that was provided belongs in References

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:36, 24 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:02, 16 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

TED talk and references[edit source]

Hello,

You have such an interesting topic, and have done excellently so far! I found a TED talk that suits your book chapter really well: https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart

Guy Winch examines the pain of a broken heart - how when people get broken hearted, they often lack emotional resources, flounder and coping mechanisms which seem to get them through other life challenges seem to fail. When broken hearted, people see their ex partners in an idealised way, which prevents them from moving on. Having a clear understanding of why the relationship ended seems to help people move on, but this can be difficult because when the person misses their ex partner they are going through withdrawal (which he equates to a drug withdrawal), and they only seem to focus on the positive aspects of it (i.e., their smile, positive feelings).

I hope this helps! Also just a reminder, you need to italicise the journal and journal number for your references.

Also, issue numbers only need to be included if the journal is paginated by issue (which is usually not the case). Here's a link that explains it further: http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2011/10/how-to-determine-whether-a-periodical-is-paginated-by-issue.html.

I also edited your book chapter and made the headings and sub-headings de-capitalised as James has outlined above.

Good luck!

--Ju3141393 (discusscontribs) 03:16, 19 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reference list DOIs[edit source]

Based on http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html, it is better to change the way of referencing the DOI's references.

  1. The volume should be erased and the number of volumes should be in italic.
  2. Instead of doi:, http://doi.org/ should be used.
  3. The name of the publisher also should be in italic.

I changed all DOIs references for you. 22:50, 20 Oct 2018, U31455


Hi there, your chapter is looking good!! I've just edited your figure titles so that they are now APA formatted :) good luck --MaddieCarleton (discusscontribs) 01:22, 21 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, your chapter is really good and your idea of adding GIFF is so fascinating Dsaini3 (discusscontribs) 01:07, 22 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, Great chapter!Just added a couple grammerical commers etc. Nothing major I promise! Keep it Up! --U3160678 (discusscontribs) 05:50, 21 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is an solid chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.

Research[edit source]

  1. Statements about prevalence seem contradictory.
  2. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression is OK but there is room for improvement.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Check and correct formatting of abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.).
    3. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links.
    2. Move the current external links into see also. Add external links (outside of Wikiversity/Wikipedia).
    3. Basic use of images.
    4. No use of tables.
    5. Good use of feature boxes.
    6. Good use of quizzes.
    7. Very good use of case studies or examples.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard (e.g., "He also added, In addition ...".
  5. APA style
  6. Expand image captions in order to connect them more strongly to the body text.
    1. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    2. Citations
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. References are not in very good APA style.
      1. Check and make correct use of capitalisation.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising, but overly detailed presentation.
  2. Missing a conclusion.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Be more selective about what to include - too much is covered too fast.
  2. There are some spelling/typos.
  3. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  2. The presentation is interesting to watch and listen to.
  3. The font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  4. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by animated images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Video recording quality was excellent.
  3. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  5. A link to the book chapter is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:24, 18 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]