Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Testosterone and dominance

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Feedback[edit]

This may be moderately off-topic and borderline offensive but I've always wondered why men (my friends and male relatives, at least, very much so) seem to have disgust for homosexual advances on them whereas women seem not only more calm and able to brush unwanted interest off, but can even be more experimental without altering their perception of their sexuality. Is there a relationship between higher testosterone levels, the need to dominate, and a sense of alarm or threat that occurs when some men are approached by other men? Or, is this a result of environmental factors? Is there a power balance at play and how does this weave into a man's identity? --Taylormeggles (discusscontribs) 05:21, 1 September 2017 (UTC)

Author Response[edit]

Thanks Taylor for your feedback! This is a very interesting point and I will definitely be looking into it during my research.

--Amelia Smith-Koppie (discusscontribs) 14:15, 16 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback[edit]

Hey there! I am doing the other Testosterone related topic: Testosterone and Sexual motivation. So I am really interested in keeping up to date with what you are doing, as I imagine they tie in together quite well. I have had a few really interesting suggestions on my page that I thought I would share with you alongside some of my own thoughts. You could potentially include sections related to

  • Sex crimes
  • Individual differences such as gender, age and/or sexuality

I think it would also be interesting to discuss dominance in relation to performance in the bedroom and - on the other end of the scale - the workplace! Id also love to see some information on what happens when there is a large gathering of men: whether their testosterone levels spike with the desire to be the most "manly" in the room! I'm not sure if this is a real occurrence: but I would love to find out if this is a myth or a fact!

Anyway! Good luck! I hope I have provided you with some interesting feedback :) Demibree (discusscontribs) 08:35, 3 September 2017 (UTC)

Author Response[edit]

Thanks Demibree! I will be including sex crimes in my case study section. Amelia Smith-Koppie (discusscontribs) 14:29, 16 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback[edit]

Hi again Amelia,

In your 'sex crimes' case study section you say that 'hypo-sexuality' could be associated with sex offenses due to higher testosterone. However hypo- is a prefix meaning 'low'. Do you mean to say 'hyper'?--Taylormeggles (discusscontribs) 01:35, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:37, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit]

  1. Created, basic

Social contribution[edit]

  1. None logged

Section headings[edit]

  1. Simple 2-level heading structure - looks like a good start, if somewhat basic approach - importantly, it shows an emphasis on theory
  2. See earlier comment about heading casing
  3. Consider integrating discussion about theory, research, with examples (as opposed to having separate sections about theory and research)
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  5. Make sure to avoid providing too much background/generic material. Instead briefly summarise background concepts and provide wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question posed by the sub-title of chapter.

Key points[edit]

  1. Some development of ideas within most sections
  2. Consider using more examples
  3. Consider using more in-text interwiki links (makes the text more interactive)
  4. Consider moving a case study or other examples higher and integrating, say, within the Overview, to help capture reader interest earlier on

Image[edit]

  1. One image provided and captioned - perhaps this image should occur earlier?
  2. Consider increasing image size from default

References[edit]

  1. Good. For full APA style, consider capitalisation, italicisation, use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html, and do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources[edit]

  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:37, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Referencing style[edit]

Note that currently two different referencing styles are used - APA style and MediaWiki style (which puts the references into external links). Either is fine, but be consistent rather than use a mixture. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:41, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback[edit]

Hey there! Read through your chapter and it all looks like it is coming together really well! The only comment I have is this sentence took me a few goes to understand "Leydig cells convert cholesterol like substances into testosterone when luteinising hormone is sent from the pituitary gland." I was going to just edit the page and put a "a" or "the" in between when and luteinising, but I was unsure if that would be correct? Maybe review that whole sentence and reword as the sentence doesnt really flow. Other than that, good job! :) U3111270 (discusscontribs) 09:41, 20 October 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:23, 21 November 2017 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of theory involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  2. Ideally, provide more integration of theories about dominance and theories about testosterone.
  3. Also consider testosterone changes in sport as a result of winning and losing.

Research[edit]

  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  4. Testosterone as a predictor of criminal activity seems like a highly speculative and problematic practical implication.
  5. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression is reasonable.
    1. Avoid directional referencing e.g., "As previously mentioned"
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter was well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    3. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links are well used.
    2. Basic use of images.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. Good use of quizzes.
    5. No use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
    1. Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the [spelling?] tags.
    2. Semi-colons are over-used - in most cases, a colon would be more appropriate
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - e.g., see the [grammar?] tags.
  5. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    2. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct italicisation
      2. See new doi format
      3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, an excellent presentation!

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Very good selection and organisation of content
  2. Good use of example at the beginning
  3. Great emphasis on practical implications
  4. Conclusion was helpful - beyond the time limit
  5. Citations provided, but no references?

Communication[edit]

  1. Speak to the title slide and section title slides
  2. Excellent narration voice
  3. Excellent use of animation

Production quality[edit]

  1. Overall, very well produced
  2. Presentation is over max. length
  3. Use the book chapter title and subtitle for the video title and for the title slide

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:26, 26 November 2017 (UTC)