Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Stillbirth and emotion

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ABC radio national segment[edit]

Here's the podcast I mentioned in the tutorial: A stillborn inequity -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:13, 10 August 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:22, 1 September 2017 (UTC)

Overview[edit]

Hey, looking good with your layout. I notice that your overview is discussing stillbirth. My suggestion would be to consider making this a new topic heading and make the overview like the abstract of the page. Ems83

References[edit]

Hello! Seems like a really interesting topic! The structure of your chapter is looking really clear so far. I added a hanging indent to your reference list to help with APA formatting. I also edited the category section to make it a part of the 2017 book chapter, as it was set as the 2016 chapter. Hope this helps :) --SL96 (discusscontribs) 08:05, 24 September 2017 (UTC)


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit]

  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Very good
  2. 3 out of the 4 links to contributions are not as direct as they could be - requires the user to do some hunting and pecking
  3. The best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click compare, and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines.

Section headings[edit]

  1. Excellent structure - I like that it doesn't beat around the bush and gets straight into the topic
  2. Good idea to start with a case study in the Overview - consider possibly following this case study through in subsequent sections or providing other case studies along the way
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  4. The Cultural and social expectations section is also about theory - so the chapter doesn't necessary need a section called "Theories" - instead just use heading labels pertaining the specific theory or type of theory and integrate theory, research evidence, and examples under such headings.

Key points[edit]

  1. Coverage looks appropriate and reasonably well considered/thought through

Image[edit]

  1. Image added
  2. Expand caption to explain relevance to the text

References[edit]

  1. Good
  2. For full APA style, also include italics
  3. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
  4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources[edit]

  1. See also
    1. Very good use of Wikipedia links
    2. Also link to other relevant book chapters
  2. External links
    1. None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:55, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Peer-reviewed material[edit]

In response to your email query about relevant theory, the challenge of the book chapter is to identify and make use of the most relevant peer-reviewed psychological research and theory about the topic, and to present this in a readable, accessible, interesting, practical way.

If you are having difficulty finding relevant material on this topic specifically, then perhaps broaden the search e.g., from emotion to psychological effects, or from stillbirth to infant death etc. For example, there seems to be promising material, here, including a systematic review which would be an excellent starting point - https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=psychological+effects+of+stillbirth. Other relevant search terms could include "perinatal loss" etc.

In summary, if there is a lack of relevant theoretical material about the specific phenomenon of interest, then broaden the search to include the most relevant theoretical material and explain how it can be applied.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:39, 23 October 2017 (UTC)

Chapter Feedback[edit]

Hey, I think you have already submitted but just wanted to say I think it's a great chapter - beautifully written and supported with research. And it gives a really important message to all readers about how important it is to support anyone you know who experiences a stillbirth. Must be so tough to face the grief but not have it validated or even acknowledged by people around you. I added an external link that might be helpful for anyone trying to support someone in that situation as I wonder if sometimes people just don't know what to do/say. Thanks for a thought-provoking read! --u3122707 (discusscontribs) 07:36, 25 October 2017 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a reasonable presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. Reasonably well selected and structured content - but content about defining stillbirth could be reduced to help slow down the pace of the presentation of material addressing the topic of the emotional consequences and what can be done about it.
  4. Consider adding a more detailed Conclusion, with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. Leave longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  2. Address an international (not just Australian) audience. Australians only make up 0.3% of the world population.
  3. Visual communication is excellent, although on some slides, larger font could be used.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  3. Meta-data is excellent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:57, 27 November 2017 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a reasonably strong chapter.
  2. The chapter could be strengthened by being more selective - it is over the maximum word count.
  3. The chapter could also be improved by providing practical take-home messages as part of the Conclusion.
  4. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. A lot of useful and relevant theory is covered. The chapter could be improved by being more selective and covering some theoretical material more briefly, to fit within the maximum word count.
  2. Clarify the differences and similarities between stillbirth and miscarriage.
  3. The integrated case study is excellent.

Research[edit]

  1. Very good coverage of relevant research and integrated with theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Write for an international, not just Australian audience. Australians only make up 0.33% of the world human population.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    2. The chapter was well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Good use of images.
    3. Basic use of tables.
    4. Basic use of quizzes.
    5. Excellent use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and correct use of commas.
    2. Often where i.e. has been used e.g. would be more appropriate.
    3. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    5. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
    6. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Table captions.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct italicisation.
      2. See new doi format.
      3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.