Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Mobile phone addiction

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ABC coverage 2017[edit]

This topic was in the news on the ABC this week:

One things I noticed about this coverage compared to previous similar articles/discussions was the emphasis on practical solutions and suggestions. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:25, 12 August 2017 (UTC)

Learning Motivation[edit]

This is such as interesting topic, especially when we have become such as technologically dependent society! Im looking forward to reading your book chapter. I found this article which was interesting which looked at the effects of different parenting styles, friendship satisfaction and learning motivation on addictive use of smartphones, and found that that higher learning/academic motivation decreases the use of smartphone use; Bae, S. M. (2015). The relationships between perceived parenting style, learning motivation, friendship satisfaction, and the addictive use of smartphones with elementary school students of south korea: Using multivariate latent growth modeling. School Psychology International, 36(5), 513-531. doi:10.1177/0143034315604017. Good luck! :) --Slucic94 (discusscontribs) 12:54, 3 September 2017 (UTC)


Very relevant topic to this generation! Great topic selection. Have a look at this article about the company Apple playing a large role in the mobile phone addiction craze Goodluck with your page!! --U3117399 (discusscontribs) 02:54, 1 October 2017 (UTC)

Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

User page[edit]

  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Add links to each relevant #emot17 tweet
  2. Sign Wikiversity comments - from the link provided, I couldn't easily tell which comment was made by you

Section headings[edit]

  1. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.
  2. "Related motivation theories" is rather vague - probably pick the 2-3 key theories and explain/emphasise those
  3. Consider placement of quiz questions - could be at the end or drop the section and embed one question per major section

Key points[edit]

  1. Well explained and thought out
  2. Consider embedding a case study


  1. Well used
  2. Consider expanding - have done this


  1. Good
  2. For correct APA style, consider capitalisation, italicisation, use of initials for author first name etc.


  1. Good - some reformatting applied

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:22, 10 October 2017 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter that lacks sufficient citation, use of theory, and polish in terms of using correct grammar.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.


  1. Theory is only weakly used e.g., a basic description of UGT is offered, but there is little integration with mobile phone use.
  2. Some other potentially useful theories are mentioned, but there is little citation of ideas to original sources.


  1. Many statements were unreferenced (see the [factual?] tags), making it difficult to know which parts of this chapter reflect academic psychological literature and which parts are author opinion.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid directional referencing e.g., "As previously mentioned"
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with only one sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Basic use of one image.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. Excellent use of quizzes - direction of interpretation of scoring has been corrected.
    5. No use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
    2. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    3. Check and correct over-capitalisation.
    4. Check and correct use of commas (lack of use).
    5. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    6. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    7. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
  5. APA style
    1. A full stop is needed after et al.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct italicisation.
      3. Author second initials are missing.
      4. See new doi format.
      5. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.



  1. Overall, ...

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. Check and correct spelling (e.g., theroies -> theories, discription -> description etc.)
  3. Be more selective about what to cover so that less content is presented more effectively.
  4. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  5. Include key citations and references.
  6. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.


  1. Audio narration is fairly flat and quiet - consider using great intonation to help engage listener interest.
  2. Consider leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. Visual communication, using an animated combination of images and text, is interesting and effective.

Production quality[edit]

  1. The presentation is over the maximum time limit.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was very quiet - review microphone set up.
  4. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  5. Minimalistic use of meta-data.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:14, 4 December 2017 (UTC)