Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Depression and study motivation

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Comments[edit source]

Hi U3068664, just a quick tip that you may find useful, you can quick start your chapter by downloading a template that will give you an initial structure for your chapter if you would like to. If you are interested in doing this check out the instructions in the purple box on the Author guidelines page. Cheers --EmmaCane28 (discusscontribs) 11:49, 2 September 2017 (UTC)

Test comment. ---- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:28, 6 September 2017 (UTC)


Hey! I noticed you haven't started your Wikipedia page. Here is a link to a YOUTUBE tutorial that I found really helpful in the intial stages of constructing my page. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_k_VbCDm2Y Goodluck --U3117399 (discusscontribs) 02:40, 1 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback[edit source]

I was just having a look at your chapter, it's really coming along! I really like your use of case studies, makes the chapter a lot more interesting. I would recommend that you make use of an image in the first part as the page is a little plain before you get to the first case study. That being said your page is really informative my only suggestions would be cosmetic. --Amelia Smith-Koppie (discusscontribs) 18:08, 19 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback[edit source]

Hey there, your article is looking amazing, with heaps of info and lots of engaging information like the quiz and spot on Case studies. I just thought I'd give you the heads up in case you hadn't counted yet, that you appear to be over the word count (unless you're a grad student). Even if you are a grad, you appear to have another few points at the bottom of the page to make, as well as all of your references. Hope you see this in time, best of luck. Give me a heads up on my page if you want a hand culling the word count, it's a specialty :) RainbowUnicorn97 (discusscontribs) 22.51 20 October 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:15, 15 October 2017 (UTC)


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Not done at time of topic development submission

User page[edit source]

  1. Not created

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. None logged

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Not done at time of topic development submission
  2. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points[edit source]

  1. Not done at time of topic development submission
  2. Consider including wiki links for key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles to help make the text more interactive

Image[edit source]

  1. Not done at time of topic development submission

References[edit source]

  1. Not done at time of topic development submission

Resources[edit source]

  1. Not done at time of topic development submission

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:15, 15 October 2017 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation[edit source]

Hey. Not sure if you've been marked yet, but I removed a misplaced line above your title. Also, if you haven't been marked for the multimedia presentation, yours is set to private and can't be viewed. That may be totally intentional, but just heads-up in case it's not.

Cheers.

Feedback[edit source]

Hey there! I know I am a little late to give feedback, but just in case you had any interest in touching up your topic to put in to a portfolio or anything; I thought it still might be useful to leave some comments I had! This is a very interesting topic that you chose. Firstly, Id like to suggest potentially adding in some additional hyperlinks to wikipedia pages - it really helps the reader understand key terms. For instance, if you added in a few hyperlinks to key words like "motivation" and "Depression" that would be great backreading for a reader. I hope you dont mind, but I added in a few hyperlinks to explain what I mean! Feel free to delete them if you wish. I love you use of case studies and how they are centred in the middle of the page - it really draws attention to them. I found an article which may be beneficial for readers - you could potentially link it to external links, or add it in to your chapter somehwere else. It's APA formatted reference is below. It was a questionnaire based study examining mood and anxiety, depressive symptoms, conditional goal setting and BIS and BAS. Results mainly coaligned with hypotheses in that depression and anxiety impacted goal setting and motivation.

  • Dickson, J., Johnson, S., Huntley, C., Peckham, A., & Taylor, P. (2017). An integrative study of motivation and goal regulation processes in subclinical anxiety, depression and hypomania. Psychiatry Research, 256, 6-12. doi:10.1016/j.psychres.2017.06.002

I hope some of this information is useful! Good luck with your final grade

Demibree (discusscontribs) 22:40, 18 November 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:37, 20 November 2017 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. This chapter was well over the maximum word count, therefore the quiz questions onwards were ignored for marking purposes. A simple way to reduce word count would be to reduce the amount of preliminary material on background concepts, and to concentrate more directly on the relationship between the two target constructs (depression and motivation to study).
  3. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. There was unnecessary generic theoretical material (SDT, goal orientation, expectancy theory, and learned helplessness) presented in the first half of the chapter which was not clearly related to the two target constructions. Discussion of attribution theory was better because it was related to education, but not to depression. Consequently, the directly relevant material for addressing the topic doesn't start until about half-way through the chapter with the section called "Depression and study motivation".
  2. Explain - what do Case Study A and B illustrate and how are they connected to the chapter topic? These case studies would be more useful if they illustrated scenarios involving depression and study motivation.
  3. It was good to see some effort towards offering practical, take-home messages. However, copying these from Headspace doesn't indicate how these recommendations have been derived from the author's integration of primary theory and research sources and these tips are not specific to the topic - depression and study motivation.
  4. The Conclusion is under-developed.

Research[edit source]

  1. A basic description of relevant research is provided.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Write in third person perspective, rather than first person perspective, unless you wish to present yourself as an example/case study.
    4. Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
  2. Layout
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
  4. Learning features
    1. Adding more interwiki links would make the text more interactive.
    2. Limited use of See also - e.g., no links to relevant other book chapters are provided
    3. External links are all Australian-focused - only 0.33% of the world population are Australian; instead, write the chapter for an international audience
    4. Limited use of images.
    5. Figure 2 is too small to be easily readable.
  5. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Check and correct consistency of capitalisation e.g., for Self-determination Theory
    2. Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
    3. Check and correct use of that vs. who
    4. Spelling can be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  6. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    2. Citations
      1. A comma is needed before "&" for citations involving three or more authors
      2. Check and correct formatting for et al.
      3. Check and correct APA style for citing sources with six or more authors
      4. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct capitalisation
      2. Check and correct italicisation
      3. See new doi format
      4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Multimedia.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this presentation is problematic because it provides visual slides with text, but no auditory narration.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. The topic title and sub-title does not match the book chapter.
  2. Well structured.
  3. Consider including key citations.
  4. Consider providing examples or a case study.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Increase the font size for more effective visual communication.
  2. No auditory communication was provided Frowny.svg.
  3. Consider using images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. This is not a multimedia presentation - it is a pdf slidedeck uploaded to slideshare.
  2. Provide a link back to the book chapter.
  3. Indicate the copyright license for the presentation.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:09, 1 December 2017 (UTC)