Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Relative deprivation and emotion

From Wikiversity
Latest comment: 4 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback
Jump to navigation Jump to search


[edit source]

Hey, would mentioning the social aspect of relative deprivation be of benefit to your page? Not only on an individual level but how this concept can influence social change movements. ThisThis link may be helpful. - U3155493 Social contributions --Ellenpeisley (discusscontributions) 08:52, 1 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Topic development feedback

[edit source]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title

[edit source]
  1. Very good
  2. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.

User page

[edit source]
  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution

[edit source]
  1. Summarised with links to evidence
  2. Summary of contributions could be improved - be more descriptive

Section headings

[edit source]
  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development
  2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
  3. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  5. Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.

Key points

[edit source]
  1. Some development, but some sections are incomplete. The main suggestion is to reduce the preliminary content and focus on the relationship between RD and emotion.
  2. Use correct APA style for citations (e.g., no author initials)
  3. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  5. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.
  1. Provided
  2. Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.


[edit source]
  1. Good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use the new recommended format for dois -


[edit source]
  1. Some useful resources identified
  2. I've tidied up their formatting somewhat to match the standard style - check out some other book chapters

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:51, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Positive implications of relative deprivation

[edit source]

Although there may not be so much literature in this area, you have identified two good, practical, interesting examples. However, note that the question does not require coverage of positive implications per se. The bulk of the chapter should be focused on the effects of RD on emotion (which may include pleasant and aversive emotion). Sincerely, James. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:39, 8 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.


[edit source]
  1. Overall, this is a very good chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. Also consider linking to concepts such as "social comparison", "cognitive dissonance", "learned helplessness", and the "Big Fish Little Pond effect".
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. Another example of RD might be "body image".
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the size of effects.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the chapter is well written.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long (e.g., the final paragraph). Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Some sentences are overly long (e.g., 1st sentence); consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some use of interwiki links; more could be embedded, along with links to other book chapters.
    2. Good use of images.
    3. Basic use of tables.
    4. Good use of feature boxes.
    5. Good use of quizzes.
    6. Good use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    2. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style.
    3. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
  5. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    3. Citations use correct APA style.
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      3. See new doi format.
  1. ~10 logged, useful, substantial social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:24, 4 November 2019 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


[edit source]
  1. Overall, this is a basic, insufficient presentation.
  2. This presentation makes use of powtoon animation tools.
  3. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.
  1. A clear, simple description of relative deprivation is lacking.
  2. The selection of content doesn't adequately address the question: "What is the effect of relative deprivation on emotion?"
  3. Refer to relative deprivation rather than RD (using an unfamiliar abbreviation in a short presentation unnecessarily adds cognitive load to the viewer).
  4. Narrating the example slides (rather than relying on the viewer to read) would improve the presentation.
  5. Using a clinical example was unnecessary and misleading because relative deprivation applies to everyone in everyday life.
  6. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  7. There is insufficient time to read the initial Emily slide.
  8. What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives?
  1. The presentation uses text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Well paced.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to read comfortably.
  4. The visual communication is supplemented by images.
  1. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio recording quality was so-so. Sounds levels varied between slides. Probably an on-board microphone was used because keyboard clicks were audible. Consider using an external microphone.
  3. Mute the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  4. Visual display quality was OK.
  5. Image sources are provided.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data.
  7. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  9. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:17, 18 November 2019 (UTC)Reply