Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Perfectionism and depression

Comments

Hi there! Great work on all the research you found on your topic, it was very interesting to read. Might I suggest adding some colour into your chapter with some colour text boxes? It might help make your chapter pop a little more to match the really interesting topic of depression and the role perfectionism plays! Good luck and I hope you receive a great mark :) --Maddkilby (discuss • contribs) 13:00, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:05, 31 August 2019 (UTC)

@U3143168: Just drawing your attention to the suggestion above. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:43, 1 September 2019 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Excellent User page Created, with description about self and link to book chapter Used effectively Social contribution Excellent Section headings Well developed 2-level heading structure, however too much preliminary content and too little directly on the topic. Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Key points Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations. Consider introducing a case study in the Overview. Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption does not use APA style. Caption explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Good. For full APA style: Use correct italicisation Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume Resources See also Good Also link to past relevant chapters External links Select links relevant to an international audience

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:12, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

Potential study/topic to include

Hi there, was thinking this study might be relevant to the chapter:

Hashemi, M., & Nweke, G. E. (2019). The moderating role of social media on perfectionism and depression. Social impact of media discourse in the age of iDeology. A perspective from the global periphery, 13.

Other than what the title suggests, it also reflects on how self-comparison behaviour affects self-esteem and depressive symptoms in perfectionist individuals.

--DaleHulm (discuss • contribs) 10:49, 14 October 2019 (UTC)

Hey girl. Just looking at your reference list, make sure the doi's have a link attached for people to access. I also noted some spacing errors between names (each contribution isn't separated onto an individual line). See familicide link for an example: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2018/Familicide_motivation

--U3178335 (discuss • contribs) 11:09, 20 October 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a good chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. There is no need to focus in on MDD. The title and sub-title only specifies "depression", so keep the focus broader. The chapter adopts an unnecessarily narrow, clinical perspective. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits. Theory There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). Otherwise, relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained. Research Relevant research is mentioned in relation to theory, but could be described in more detail. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression Overall, the chapter is reasonably well written, but there are also lots of aspects to be improved for it be of a professional standard. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages. Layout The chapter is reasonably well structured, but there should be less focus on the individual constructs and more focus on their relationship. Learning features For numbered lists, use Wikiversity formatting per Tutorial 1. Very good use of interwiki links; also embed links to related book chapters. Basic use of images. Consider adding photos. No use of tables. Basic use of feature boxes. Basic use of quizzes. The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end. Basic use of case studies or examples. Grammar Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's). Check and correct use of abbreviations such as e.g., i.e.., etc. Proofreading Remove unnecessary capitalisation (lots). APA style Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Direct quotes need page numbers. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text using APA style. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. There should be no comma immediately before et al. Remove rogue full-stops e.g., (Hewitt., 1996) -> (Hewitt, 1996) Check and correct APA style when citing two or more sources within parentheses. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation. Check and correct use of italicisation. See new doi format. Social contribution ~4 basic, logged social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:19, 6 November 2019 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation. This presentation makes effective use of powtoon animation tools. Structure and content Well selected content - not too much or too little. Creativity presented content - 1st person narration worked really well. Check and correct spelling errors (~00:50) and grammar (~02:40). Explain abbreviations. The presentation is well structured. Consider adding and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered. However, the first person example also worked well. A Conclusion is presented with a take-home message(s). Communication The presentation is fun, humorous, serious, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to. The presentation makes effective use of text and animated image based slides with narrated audio. Well paced. Excellent intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. Production quality Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was excellent. Video recording quality was excellent. Image sources are provided. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:57, 17 November 2019 (UTC)