Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Growth mindset development

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Remember to correctly cite and caption images (Figure 2.) etc accompanied by a description. Thorough work though. U3162033 (discusscontribs) 19:26, 1 September 2019 (UTC)

Hi! Great book chapter. I liked how you developed the case study. One way to cut or 'kill words' can be removing words in the tables you made. For example, 'Someone with a fixed mindset' . To improve readability, I would also suggest making your images bigger (especially the one about the effects of praise on performance) - Overall excellent job! Good luck :) --U3145293 (discusscontribs) 06:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC)


Check out work by Carol Dweck on mindsets. ---- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:17, 14 August 2019 (UTC)


Hi Gian, as promised on CANVAS and regarding the How to Kill a Word, a couple of suggested edits to get you started if you want to

In the section headed How feedback affects mastery socialisation

1. You say - The group who were told that they did well because they are talented showed... I'd suggest - The group told they did well because they were talented... So, the suggestion is you look to drop any unnecessary word and remember if you are using past tense, keep writing in past tense.

2. You say - The feedback also changed the types of problems they were willing to solve as they were less willing to try solving harder problems. I'd suggest - Feedback also changed the types of problems solved, as they were less willing to attempt harder problems. So, the suggestion is to look at your phrases, a little better expression and you'd save 6 words here.

3. I also noticed you have sort of repeated yourself in the section about criticism reducing coping abilities and causing a fixed mindset, and perhaps might think about how you can reword and/or combine them perhaps?? So, to explain what I mean - you have a paragraph which starts with... Feedback can also have negative outcomes. and then you go on to talk about criticism, coping and fixed mindset; and then the paragraph beneath that which starts with... Mastery socialisation from feedback...etc... and you again talk about criticism, coping and fixed mindsets. I just think, especially if you are looking to cull words, you might think about how you can word those a bit differently. just an idea.

I hope you can see what I mean and can apply it yourself to the rest of your chapter. I think content-wise you have done really really well, fascinating topic, just the expression which will definitely help your word count. Good luck and feel free to contact me if I haven't made any sense or what to know more.

Cheers Lara

4. In the Academic interventions for mindset change section, it looks quite overwhelmed because there are so much text there in the one section. Perhaps move the case study to either the top near the heading or put it at the bottom of that section like how you did it in the overview section. Pc. --U3092376 (discusscontribs) 06:59, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:28, 29 August 2019 (UTC)

Topic development feedback[edit]

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via Canvas. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title and sub-title[edit]

  1. Excellent

User page[edit]

  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Excellent

Section headings[edit]

  1. Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic.

Key points[edit]

  1. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations.
  2. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  3. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.


  1. Provided, with an APA style caption.
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.


  1. Good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use correct italicisation


  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:31, 23 September 2019 (UTC)

Hi, was having a read through your book chapter that I found highly informative. Would like to make a suggestion you may like to consider regarding the basic emotion of 'interest' that plays a role in acquiring knowledge in general. I have added a link as reference, All the best--U3151962 (discusscontribs) 09:11, 12 October 2019 (UTC)

Your chapter was a great read and highly informative. Whilst going through I found some grammatical errors so I fixed them for you. --Haylzw (discusscontribs) 02:34, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Just had a look through your chapter and honestly it looks amazingǃ love your use on small focus boxes off to the side of the page. Have you considered adding in a quiz component to your chapter? Maybe at the end to test your readers knowledge? All the best --U3100384 (discusscontribs) 10:47, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.


  1. Relevant theories are very well selected, described, integrated, and explained.


  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the chapter is very well written.
    2. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages.
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid overuse of bold text.
    2. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Excellent use of interwiki links and embedded links to other book chapters.
    2. Good use of images.
    3. Excellent use of tables.
    4. Excellent use of feature boxes.
    5. No use of quizzes.
    6. Good use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style.
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style when citing figures and tables.
    2. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. A serial comma is needed before "&" or "and" for citations involving three or more authors.
    3. References use correct APA style.

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Excellent: ~39 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:29, 5 November 2019 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.



  1. Overall, this is an excellent presentation.
  2. This presentation makes effective use of powtoon animation tools.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Check and correct spelling ~01:30.
  2. Citations should be in alphabetical order ~01:30.
  3. Well selected content - not too much or too little.
  4. The presentation is well structured.
  5. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  6. A Conclusion is presented with take-home message.


  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.
  4. Very good intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  6. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  7. Add a Title slide.
  8. Add an Overview slide.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio recording quality was very good.
  3. Visual display quality was excellent.
  4. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  5. Image sources and are acknowledged.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  9. A brief written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:20, 18 November 2019 (UTC)