Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Growth mindset development
- 1 Feedback
- 2 Feedback
- 3 Feedback
- 4 Heading casing
- 5 Topic development feedback
- 6 Chapter review and feedback
Hi! Great book chapter. I liked how you developed the case study. One way to cut or 'kill words' can be removing words in the tables you made. For example, 'Someone with a fixed mindset' . To improve readability, I would also suggest making your images bigger (especially the one about the effects of praise on performance) - Overall excellent job! Good luck :) --U3145293 (discuss • contribs) 06:53, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
Hi Gian, as promised on CANVAS and regarding the How to Kill a Word, a couple of suggested edits to get you started if you want to
In the section headed How feedback affects mastery socialisation
1. You say - The group who were told that they did well because they are talented showed... I'd suggest - The group told they did well because they were talented... So, the suggestion is you look to drop any unnecessary word and remember if you are using past tense, keep writing in past tense.
2. You say - The feedback also changed the types of problems they were willing to solve as they were less willing to try solving harder problems. I'd suggest - Feedback also changed the types of problems solved, as they were less willing to attempt harder problems. So, the suggestion is to look at your phrases, a little better expression and you'd save 6 words here.
3. I also noticed you have sort of repeated yourself in the section about criticism reducing coping abilities and causing a fixed mindset, and perhaps might think about how you can reword and/or combine them perhaps?? So, to explain what I mean - you have a paragraph which starts with... Feedback can also have negative outcomes. and then you go on to talk about criticism, coping and fixed mindset; and then the paragraph beneath that which starts with... Mastery socialisation from feedback...etc... and you again talk about criticism, coping and fixed mindsets. I just think, especially if you are looking to cull words, you might think about how you can word those a bit differently. just an idea.
I hope you can see what I mean and can apply it yourself to the rest of your chapter. I think content-wise you have done really really well, fascinating topic, just the expression which will definitely help your word count. Good luck and feel free to contact me if I haven't made any sense or what to know more.
4. In the Academic interventions for mindset change section, it looks quite overwhelmed because there are so much text there in the one section. Perhaps move the case study to either the top near the heading or put it at the bottom of that section like how you did it in the overview section. Pc. --U3092376 (discuss • contribs) 06:59, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
|FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:|
Topic development feedback
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via . Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Title and sub-title
Hi, was having a read through your book chapter that I found highly informative. Would like to make a suggestion you may like to consider regarding the basic emotion of 'interest' that plays a role in acquiring knowledge in general. I have added a link as reference, http://www.johnmarshallreeve.org/uploads/2/7/4/4/27446011/reeve_lee_won_2015_.pdf. All the best--U3151962 (discuss • contribs) 09:11, 12 October 2019 (UTC)
Just had a look through your chapter and honestly it looks amazingǃ love your use on small focus boxes off to the side of the page. Have you considered adding in a quiz component to your chapter? Maybe at the end to test your readers knowledge? All the best --U3100384 (discuss • contribs) 10:47, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.