Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Sensation seeking and rock climbing

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Chapter feedback[edit]

Hi, I was just wanting to add some thoughts on your chapter - hoping that's ok. I'm assuming you've come across the related book chapters from previous years (for further reading links) - Sensation Seeking (2011), Extreme Sport Motivation (2016), Risk Taking Motivation (2010) are probably the most relevant. The other thing I was thinking is I read an interesting interview with Honnold some time ago - they put him through an MRI and looked at the level of arousal in his brain, finding some weird results: http://nautil.us/issue/39/sport/the-strange-brain-of-the-worlds-greatest-solo-climber. Not sure how indepth you'll have room for (i.e. whether you'll have word-space to explore stuff like that), but thought it could be interesting to at least mention. Hope it might be of some use... Good luck! Cheers, Dot--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 01:15, 23 August 2018 (UTC)

Hi Lexi, in your comments on canvas you asked for feedback on the case study. I read your chapter (which is excellent, interesting and enjoyable to read) but i wasn't sure where the case study was. Is it in the overview section? Maybe a heading might make it clearer.

Also, the reference list needs a hanging indent (i think you need to add the template but not 100%). Well done! 123.243.231.35 U3037801 (discusscontribs) 01:01, 15 October 2018 (UTC)

Hi there, well done on your book chapter so far. You have written concisely and have chosen an interesting topic. I have found an article which I thought was very interesting, it is about rock climbing and risk-taking. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6166576/ --BB7897 (discusscontribs) 22:25, 16 October 2018 (UTC)


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via Canvas. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Not provided - has now been added

User page[edit]

  1. Good

Social contribution[edit]

  1. Good
  2. See suggestions for how to record social contributions

Section headings[edit]

  1. Well developed

Key points[edit]

  1. Excellent

Image[edit]

  1. Good
  2. Expand figure caption to explain how it relates to one or more key points in the text

References[edit]

  1. Very good
  2. Use APA style
  3. For latest APA style recommended format for dois see http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html

Resources[edit]

  1. See also - basic - consider adding more links to related book chapter topics
  2. External links - basic - consider adding more external links that are directly related to the specific book chapter topic

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:59, 30 September 2018 (UTC)

Additional feedback on draft[edit]

APA style

  • Include page numbers for direct quotes
  • Figure captions - capitalise the first letter of captions
  • References - use APA style e.g., use a comma instead of a full-stop after a journal name, before the volume number

See also

  • Include in brackets after the link more detail - e.g., (Book chapter, 2018) or (Wikipedia)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:36, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

External links
  • Also include in brackets more info about the source/target - e.g., (National Geographic)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:11, 20 October 2018 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a very good chapter.
  2. It could be improved by providing practical, take-home messages that apply to people's every day lives.
  3. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained, with examples. This is the key strength of this chapter.

Research[edit]

  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression is generally good to very good.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    2. Basic use of images. Images are well captioned.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. Good use of quizzes.
    5. Excellent use of case studies or examples.
  3. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Use serial commas.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    3. Check and correct spelling (e.g., Honnold vs. Honnald).
  4. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Use APA style for Figure captions (e.g., Figure 3 needs italics).
    3. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text.
    4. Citations
      1. Check and correct use of commas in citations.
    5. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. See new doi format.
      2. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  2. Overall, this is an excellent presentation that makes effective use of simple tools.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  3. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  4. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  5. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  6. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  5. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.
  6. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  7. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  8. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images.

Production quality[edit]

  1. The presentation is over the maximum time limit.
  2. The full chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. The full chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  4. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  5. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  6. Audio recording quality was a bit quiet - review microphone set up.
  7. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  8. Images sources and copyright is well acknowledged.
  9. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  10. Add acknowledgement of image sources and software used to create presentation.
  11. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:49, 16 November 2018 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent, creative presentation that communicates key ideas effective.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  3. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  4. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.

Communication[edit]

  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. Well-paced and narrated.
  3. Perhaps also consider using some images of outdoor climbing and big wall/solo climbing - arguably low wall, indoor climbing with safety rope and cushioning mats etc. is about the lowest risk type of climbing.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  3. Images sources and copyright is well acknowledged.
  4. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:49, 16 November 2018 (UTC)