Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Hope and emotion

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Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:12, 16 October 2017 (UTC)


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

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Title, sub-title, TOC[edit]

  1. Very good
  2. Capitalisation of the title/sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  3. Template for multimedia link has been added

User page[edit]

  1. Created

Social contribution[edit]

  1. None summarised and logged

Section headings[edit]

  1. Basic, 2-level structure provided
  2. Remove or rename or merge Introduction with other sections - there's no need for an Overview and Introduction. Stronger chapters tend to use more detailed headings to demonstrate greater familiarity with the topic and greater ability to communicate key information.
  3. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  5. Make sure to avoid providing too much background/generic material. Instead briefly summarise background concepts and provide wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question posed by the sub-title of chapter. The structure could reflect a stronger focus on the relationship between hope and emotion

Key points[edit]

  1. Overview probably contains too much content - provide ~2 paragraph summary, perhaps with focus questions and/or an example or case study, then shift the more detailed content into subsequent sections
  2. Suggest including Seligman and learned optimism (and the importance of hope)
  3. Some in-text interwiki links included for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles (good)
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies

Image[edit]

  1. Well used - for the caption, how does this connect with emotion? (i.e., how does the image connect with the core purpose of the chapter?)

References[edit]

  1. Very good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Italicise volume number
    2. Review and correct capitalisation
    3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume
    4. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html

Resources[edit]

  1. Good - some improvements made
  2. Links to sites outside the wiki system are external links

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:12, 16 October 2017 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback[edit]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic chapter, with some key limitations.
  2. Many statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. Overview - consider building on the sub-title by establishing focus questions to help guide the reader and the chapter structure.
  4. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. The chapter relies too much on ancient philosophy and too little on modern psychological theory and research.
  2. It is surprising that there is no mention of learned helplessness or learned optimism.
  3. There is little mention of how hope affects emotion (or vice-versa).

Research[edit]

  1. Little relevant research is described.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter.
    2. Many sentences are overly long; consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences. Strive for the simplest expression of the point being made.
    3. Many paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
    5. Use third person perspective, rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
    6. The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion).
    7. Some statements could be explained more clearly - for example, see the [say what?] and [Rewrite to improve clarity] tags
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with only one sub-section.
    2. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading)

before branching into the sub-headings.

  1. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Basic use of images.
    4. No use of tables, feature boxes, quizzes, case studies, or examples.
  2. Grammar
    1. Check and make correct use of affect vs. effect.
    2. Use serial commas.
  3. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  4. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
    2. Citations are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order.
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and make correct use of italicisation.
      2. Add spaces between author initials.
      3. See new doi format.
      4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:31, 2 December 2018 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. To improve, be more selective about what content to cover.
  3. Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  4. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  5. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  6. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. To improve, slow down and leave longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. Some of the font size could be larger to make it easier to read.
  4. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.

Production quality[edit]

  1. The full chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality are good.
  4. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  5. Images sources and their copyright are not acknowledged - copyright may have been violated.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter was not provided.
  9. A brief written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:38, 2 December 2018 (UTC)