The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
OK links - but could be more direct e.g. see guidelines - for a direct link, view the past history, compare the version before and after your contribution and use this link as direct evidence
Avoid getting too distracted by emotion - provide wiki links to more info about the connection between serotonin and emotion - focus on the relationship between serotonin and motivation (although it may be that serotonin -> emotion -> motivation)
One of the tricks with motivation is "motivation for what?" (this is just a general point - that "motivation" per se doesn't exist - there can only be motivation towards X or Y etc.
Consider developing some focus questions (or sub-questions) in the Overview
Avoid providing too much generic information about motivation - provide a brief summary with links to further info. Instead, focus on the relationship between serotonin and motivation.
Hey there! I had a read of your chapter, and it is very interesting! If you are still interesting in the topic, I would recommend looking in to LSD. Another student has a page on LSD and Emotion After reading through both of your chapters, its amazing how much it relates! Basically, LSD mimics effects of serotonin, and you can see in an LSD molecule - its basically a serotonin molecule with some extra bits. Its an interesting read.
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
The chapter could be strengthened by providing more coverage of the biochemistry of serotonin and its neurological effects.
Instead the chapter draws a long bow by trying to connect two somewhat outdated theories (drive theory and Maslow's hierarchy of needs) with serotonin. This is a stretch because there isn't much supporting evidence.
Did you directly consult Maslow (1943)? If not, this should be a secondary citation.
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is not well supported by empirical evidence - so why emphasise it so much?
e.g. and i.e. should only be used inside parentheses and should be followed by commas.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
In general, avoid starting sentences with an author name, unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, what is of far more interest to the reader, is the content/key point, with the citation included in brackets at the end of the sentence.
Learning features
Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
Little use of See also to provide links to other relevant book chapters.
Good use of images.
No use of tables.
Basic use of quizzes. Some of quiz questions are not covered in the chapter.
Basic use of case studies.
Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section - basically general content about serotonin and motivation as separate concepts is presented, but there is a lack of specific focus on theory and research about how serotonin affects motivation (that is the assigned topic).
The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
The presentation makes effective use of narrated text and image based slides with narrated audio.
4=
Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
Minimal use of meta-data (e.g., no link is provided back to the book chapter).
