Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Pleasure and pain

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Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:30, 6 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC[edit source]

  1. Title and sub-title have been adjusted to match the book table of contents
  2. Title casing has been adjusted to sentence casing

User page[edit source]

  1. Created
  2. Well set up

Social contribution[edit source]

  1. To make social contributions easier to review:
    1. Use a numbered list
    2. Provide a brief summary of the contribution
    3. Provide a more direct link to the contribution
    4. Sign contributions on Wikiversity talk pages

Section headings[edit source]

  1. Introduction -> Overview (changed)
  2. Avoid sub-sections in the Overview
  3. Avoid having only one sub-section within a section (i.e., have 2 or more or 0 sub-sections)
  4. See earlier comment about heading capitalisation
  5. Good range/number of top-level headings, with relevant sub-headings; the scope is broad which is partly the nature of the topic. If in doubt about what to cover/not cover, the key criteria should be about whether the content is helping to answer the question (i.e., the topic sub-title).

Key points[edit source]

  1. As per section headings, impressive breadth but be careful of the coverage being too broad - check the marking criteria - basically, what is the best available psychological theory and research which can help to explain the relationship between pleasure and pain, and how can this be applied to improving our every day lives - this is what the chapter needs to be about. Other material may be interesting, but may not meet this criteria.
  2. Key points were not provided for all sections.

Image[edit source]

  1. An image added, but caption doesn't explain its relevance.

References[edit source]

  1. Only one citation and reference provided - this may indicate that there has been a lack of investigation of relevant psychological theory and research

Resources[edit source]

  1. See also
    1. Add bullet points
    2. Rename links
    3. Use internal rather than external linking style
  2. External links
    1. Add bullet points
    2. Rename links

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:30, 6 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. A lot of relevant literature appears not be incorporated (e.g., https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=pleasure+pain). Overall, a limited set of citations are used.
  2. Some useful theories are mentioned with regard to pleasure and pain as separate concepts, but there could be a stronger focus on the relationship between the two. The Opponent Process Theory was promising in this respect.
  3. The Conclusion lacked practical, take-home messages.

Research[edit source]

  1. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  2. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    3. Avoid having sections with only one sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Good use of images. Some image sizes could be increased to make them easier to read.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. No use of quizzes.
    5. Basic use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions.
    2. Provide more detailed Figure captions.
    3. Citations
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of full journal titles.
      3. See new doi format.
      4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Well selected and structured content, but many of the comments about the book chapter also apply here.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio narration is very good; well-paced and easy to listen to.
  2. Visual communication could be more effective by using less text with larger font; otherwise good.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The presentation is over the maximum time limit.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  4. Provide a clickable link to the book chapter.
  5. Minimalistic met-data

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:25, 4 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]