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Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Pheromones and motivation

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Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Template

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Hi U3077607, there is a template available that you can get by following the instructions on this page. This will help you figure out where to start and it also provides you with guidelines on what to do. U3161650 (discusscontribs) U3161650

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:24, 10 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. Casing adjusted
  2. Punctuation adjusted to match title in the book table of contents
  3. User name removed (authorship is as indicated by the editing history)

User page

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  1. Created, basic

Social contribution

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  1. Links to go editing mode on pages, so it is not obvious what contributions have been made - see book chapter guidelines

Section headings

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  1. A basic heading structure is provided, with no sub-headings - on closer examination, there do appear to be sub-headings but these haven't been put into wiki format, so they don't appear in the table of contents
  2. See earlier comment about heading casing

Key points

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  1. Possibly too much is planned to be covered in the Overview - consider moving some of this content into subsequent sections and possibly into sub-sections within subsequent sections
  2. A common mistake is to provide too much generic content (e.g., what is motivation) - this can be covered very briefly, with links to further information, so that there can be more focus on the chapter topic i.e., ph and motivation
  3. Perfume?
  4. Some reference to animals may be of interest (e.g., for a feature box/interesting fact), but the overwhelming emphasis should be on how this topic applies to human motivation and how an understanding of the topic can be used to help enhance our lives
  5. Good use of wiki-links
  1. Consider increasing image sizes
  2. Use APA style for captions

References

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  1. For APA style, check/correct capitalisation, remove retrieval date, use dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html, do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Very good
    2. Include source/author in brackets after the link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:24, 10 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonable chapter.
  1. The general section about motivation can be replaced by a brief summary, with a relevant link e.g., to the Wikipedia chapter about motivation.
  2. The section about motivation theories is only weakly related to pheremones e.g., I don't understand how SDT is related to pheremones? This section doesn't seem to be based on any reliable sources. This would be a stronger chapter without these general theories, as they aren't integrated with the rest of the content.
  3. The Reeve textbook is over-used as a citation. Instead, access primary sources.
  4. Clearer explanation is needed about how chemosensory signals are involved in mate selection in relation to kin
  5. The biological explanations of the motivational function of pheremones is reasonably good.
  1. Limited research evidence is presented. Ideally, research findings should be explained in more detail e.g., "This genetic influence on mate selection and reproduction can be linked to findings[1] that pheromones in humans influence mate selection and are able to identify those genetically similar to you (siblings and family relations) as to determine successful partnership and offspring."
  2. What evidence is there that animals make conscious use of pheremones? (seems like a bold claim)
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  1. Heading casing - see previous feedback
  2. Written expression
    1. The written expression needed closer proofreading to be of professional standard.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's
    3. Learn about the difference between affect and effect
    4. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    5. Abbreviations such as etc. should only be used within parentheses
    6. What are the practical, take-home messages about the motivational effects of pheremones that people reading this chapter can apply to their everyday lives?
  3. Learning features
    1. The chapter is well presented and makes good use of wiki learning features, including inter-wiki links, images, feature boxes, and quiz questions.
    2. The two general motivation quiz questions were removed - not directly relevant to the chapter topic.
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar and spelling could be improved - see the [grammar?] and [spelling?] tags
  5. APA style
    1. APA style citations rather than hyperlinks should be used
    2. Check and correct capitalisation in the reference list
    3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  1. The narration and text-based visuals provide a basic, sufficient overview of the chapter content.
  1. The slides are text-heavy. For more effective visual presentation, consider presenting less text with larger font on each slide.
  2. Consider providing more examples to help make the presentation more interesting/engaging.
  3. Consider using greater variation in intonation to help make the narrational more interesting.
  1. Audio recording quality was a bit quiet - review microphone set up.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:28, 28 November 2017 (UTC)Reply