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Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Hormones and motivation

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Latest comment: 5 years ago by CMIV in topic Feedback

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:55, 1 September 2017 (UTC)Reply


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. Very good
  2. Casing fixed to match the book table of contents

User page

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  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution

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  1. 1 contribution described, but no link to evidence is provided (the image doesn't allow examination of the actual changes)
  2. The best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click compare, and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines.

Section headings

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  1. See earlier comment about heading casing
  2. Minimalistic development of a 2-level heading structure
  3. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. None provided
  1. One image added
  2. Consider increasing image size from default
  3. Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text

References

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  1. Very good
  2. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html

Resources

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  1. None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:35, 15 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hi There!

I noticed that there isn't any feedback from your peers so I thought I would kick things off. Firstly, I really like your topic, my topic (Hypothalamus and Motivation) is really predominantly neurological focussed so I know its difficult to integrate motivational theories. I have also noticed you haven't yet linked any see also pages to relevant book chapters here are a few that may be applicable to your chapter: Testosterone and sexual motivation: What are the effects of testosterone on sexual motivation? and Testosterone and dominance: What is the relationship between testosterone and dominance?

Moreover, I think maybe a section on hunger hormones and motivation would be appropriate? Such as Leptin and Gherlin see this chapter for more information - Ghrelin, leptin, hunger, and eating: How do ghrelin and leptin affect hunger and eating?

It also might be worth examining the organs and systems that secrete these hormones i.e. the endocrine gland to provide a more detailed review of the whole hormone 'process'

I am looking forward to reading the rest of your chapter - Good luck :) --U3144362 (discusscontribs) 13:21, 16 October 2017 (UTC) u3144362 12:21 AMReply

Feedback

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Hey! I found your topic super interesting, and it related quite well with mine! I love how you included sexual motivation as a type of motivation driven by hormones. Your chapter is really well laid out and very easy to read. Your pictures are relevant and provide a good break-up between blocks of writing that make it much easier to read. I basically just wanted to congratulate you on such a good chapter, and I hope you're pleased with your grade. It may be a little late now, but in future - for APA style references you might want to italicize the journal which you retrieved the article from. I will edit your chapter and completed a few of these so you understand what I am referring to. Good luck!!

Demibree (discusscontribs) 23:17, 18 November 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this a minimal, barely sufficient chapter.
  2. The Overview could briefly introduce hormones and their motivational role.
  3. Why focus only on hunger and sex? These areas could be used as practical examples, but the chapter topic was broader. There are other chapters specifically about these motivations, so provide brief summaries on these topics and link to the more dedicated chapters. In this way, the current chapter can instead concentrate on addressing the assigned topic - hormones and motivation.
  4. The Conclusion could be improved by providing practical, take-home messages.
  5. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.
  1. The chapter provides very basic description of the motivation of some hormones in relation to sexual motivation and hunger.
  2. Table 1 is promising. It could be tailored more specifically to motivational functions used as a guide to an expanded chapter.
  3. Embed/integrate link to specific related chapters e.g., testosterone and dominance, oxytocin and trust etc. This would create a much more mature, higher-level, integrative chapter.
  4. There is too much general theoretical material about motivation. Instead, summarise and link to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (hormones and motivation).
  1. Some very basic descriptions of some relevant research is provided.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter was adequately written.
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some Interwiki links are used; more could be added.
    2. Good use of images.
    3. Basic use of tables.
    4. Basic use of quizzes.
    5. No use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., bodies -> body's
    2. Check and correct use of commas.
    3. Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the [spelling?] tags.
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions
    2. Provide more detailed Figure captions
    3. Citations
      1. Check and correct citation formatting for et al.
      2. A comma is needed before "&" for citations involving three or more authors
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct capitalisation
      2. Check and correct italicisation
      3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall

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  1. Overall, a simple but effective presentation that clearly addresses the topic.
  1. Excellent Overview
  2. Well selected content - not too much is covered, but the topic is well illustrated by examples, with appropriate theory and research
  3. Citations
  1. Text-based slides work well - not too much is presented on a single slide
  2. Audio narration is clear and easy to follow
  1. Well produced using simple tools
  2. The title should be the same as the book chapter title and sub-title

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:25, 24 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hey there!

I found this topic useful in reading up on hormones and their effects on motivation. It would be interesting to research further what effects hormones had on other motivations other then thirst, sex and hunger. It is a broad topic to cover but further development of the chapter would be useful. A section discussing the effects of hormones on cognition and emotion before narrowing down to specific drives and their causes could add to the chapter.

Thank you for your efforts here

Regards CMIV

CMIV (discusscontribs) 05:30, 15 October 2019 (UTC)Reply