Hey - I found a great read on the topic of blue space, before seeing your page I was not familiar with the term, I look forward to seeing your final result! Here is a link to the article, but if it doesn't work the title is: 'Blue space: [null The importance of water for preference, affect, and restorativeness ratings of natural and built scenes.]'
Hi there, tried to put a hanging indent in your reference list for you, but my laptop wasn't cooperating (thus the multiple edits and undoings, sorry haha). Nonetheless, have left the template for you in the hopes that you may have more luck. All the bestU3117451 (discuss • contribs) 08:22, 20 October 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]
Hi! First off, very interesting topic! I haven't started reading yet but I've noticed your overview section is significantly longer than most people's are, so I suggest separating it into subheadings. "Water pleasures and arouses individuals" sounds inappropriate, so I would consider changing the phrasing. I would suggest changing the sentence "There is rising confirmation to advise that contact with the natural environment can be linked with mental health benefits" to "There is rising confirmation that advises that contact...", as I had to read the sentence a few times to understand what you meant. I also added a comma after depression and before mental health in the overview section. I think you need to read through your article and have a look at your sentences, as some as very long and a little unclear. Also, you should not use 'etc.' within the text. It looks unprofessional.
Maybe you could put your definition of blue space into a coloured box? It would help break up the text and look interesting! Instructions on how to do that here.
I would also put your different theories under separate headings within your theories section. Again, I think it would help to break up the text a little. In the same vein, you could add some images! Maybe of dams, lakes, or other bodies of water? Even people at the beach would be a nice touch.
Don't forget to fix up your references!
Good chapter content! Your in-text referencing is good too!
The chapter offers some theoretical explanations for the beneficial effects of blue space, but there is a lack of depth (e.g., explain Attention Restoration Theory) and breadth (e.g., what about Stress Reduction Theory?)
Although the broader health benefits of blue space are relevant and helpful, this chapter does not successful focus on, and answer, the question about the effect of blue space on emotion.
Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
Selection and organisation
Probably too much content is presented - be more selective - e.g., work backwards from 3 take-home messages to work out what content needs to be presented - and then focus on only that which is essential to conveying these messages.
Provide some visual examples of blue space?
Theory rich; research poor.
Consider using more illustrative examples.
Citations and references are included.
A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.