Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Sleep and motivation

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Comments[edit source]

Hello! Your chapter is really well written. You've made technical and difficult concepts easy to understand! I made one change - 'as well of this' to 'as well as this'. The only feedback I have to give is that you could add more colour to your chapter - perhaps by putting simple RoundBox templates in some of the sections. Great job! U3081523 (discusscontribs) 06:40, 22 October 2016 (UTC)[]

Hi I have found a useful article that will help you to begin your chapter, it is titled : The importance of sleep: Relationships between sleep quality and work demands, the prioritization of sleep and pre-sleep arousal in day-time employees. It can be accessed through the university library website using EBSCOhost. You could include a heading on sleep-deprivation and self regulation of behaviour in your chapter. Both of which are discussed in the article. Best of luck, I hope you find this helpful! --LeoDean1993 (discusscontribs) 09:01, 5 October 2016 (UTC)[]

edits[edit source]

Hi, I italicised your Figure titles to align with APA requirements. Also, you may want add a few book chapters to the See Also section. Some links below may help. U109993 (discusscontribs) 05:24, 22 October 2016 (UTC)[]

sleep devices[edit source]


I saw this device the other day and thought it might be an interesting interactive talking point for your page.

Its an EEG device that allows you lucid dream and get a good nights sleep. Might be a cool approach for the role of motivation in sleep.

Cheers, --Muzz2016 (discusscontribs) 05:35, 7 October 2016 (UTC)[]

Hello, I just find some articles thought you might be interested, 'The Relationship of University Students’ Sleep Habits and Academic Motivation' another article talks about the correlation between the circadian system and the human reward motivation-'Nature’s Clocks and Human Mood: The Circadian System Modulates Reward Motivation' (discusscontribs) 09:18, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[]

--Jazznicol (discusscontribs) 05:43, 22 October 2016 (UTC)Hi! Your chapter is so well done, and nice and easy to understand while still explaining the complexities of sleep. My only real suggestion (to do with format) is in the section Sleep Support. It might look a bit neater if the events in Australia part was also in dot points like the other support sections. Again, this is just a little thing you may want to tweak. Apart from that well done![]

Hey there! Great chapter. Really well done! My only suggestion would be that this sentence in the first text box reads a bit funny, perhaps consider condensing or not using the word process twice in the same sentence: "Sleep, an essential biological process, is a dynamic process that serves to preserve and repair the body’s energy."

I'm also really interested in sleep paralysis and would love to read about it. If you have any room for more content check out this article: Dahlitz, M., & Parkes, J. D. (1993). Sleep paralysis. The Lancet, 341(8842), 406-407.--U3119842 (discusscontribs) 06:45, 22 October 2016 (UTC)[]

Hey, Enjoyed reading the chapter, thoroughly researched. A few minor suggestions: -In line with APA referencing, this is correct for the first citation "Stepanski, Rybarczyk, Lopez, and Stevens (2003)" as you have done, subsequent citations should be "Stepanski et al., (2003)". (Knutson, Spiegel, Penev, & Van Cauter, 2007) should be (Knutson et al., 2007) etc etc.

-"Sleep deprivation also affects daytime performance. Motor dysfunction, fatigue, depression, lack of energy, impaired cognition, and irritability, as suggested by authors Mendelson, Garnett, Gillin, and Weingartner (1984), are shared consequences in sleep deficiency (Mendelson, Garnett, Gillin & Weingartner, 1984)" As a suggestion I might phrase that particular sentence like this "Mendelson et al., (1984) found that sleep deprivation affected daytime performance, with deficits in motor dysfunction, fatigue, depression, lack of energy, impaired cognition and irritability considered to be shared consequences of sleep deficiency".

I liked the section on the stages of sleep. Best of luck with completing your chapter and I hope my suggestions are of some assistance--U3090066 (discusscontribs) 19:18, 22 October 2016 (UTC)[]

General feedback[edit source]

woah what a great chapter! I love the moving images and the range of material and content. the overall setup is tidy and flows well. I would love to see something on the mindfulness app called Smiling minds even just a link as it focusses on meditation and sleep

also i found a link on sleep and its importance just thought it was interesting u3115326 sunday 23/10/16

Hi you probably need to change 'summary' to 'conclusion' as per the marking rubric, I am not entirely sure about this however. --Jessann95 (discusscontribs) 06:50, 23 October 2016 (UTC)[]

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. The book chapter title is about the effect of sleep on motivation; however the Overview implies that the focus will be on sleep deprivation and motivation.
  3. The chapter would benefit from more disciplined focus on sleep and motivation (e.g., rather than sleep and emotion - there are other chapters about this relationship). For example, when describing the study by Mikulincer, Babkoff, Caspy and Sing (1989), focus in more detail on describing and understanding the motivation results.
  4. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.
  5. The Conclusion presents some very promising conclusions from Dahl, but the only previous mention of Dahl was in the Overview!? From what is presented, there should much less about sleep in general, sleep and emotion, sleep and health etc. and much more about sleep and motivation, expanding on the key conclusions from Dahl. Basically, this advice here is - answer the question and reduce the padding about tangential material.
  6. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Abbreviate the material about stages of sleep and link to more information, unless these stages are explained to be directly related to motivation.
  2. Perhaps consider how much people sleep - e.g., what, exactly, is meant by a lack of sleep or sleep loss or sleep deprivation?
  3. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful.

Research[edit source]

  1. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  2. When discussing important research findings, focus on explaining the identified effects of sleep on motivation in more detail.
  3. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Some clarification templates have been added to the page.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Layout
    1. Some images are used, but the chapter could be improved by adding more images and/or tables.
  4. Learning features
    1. The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links to other book chapters and to relevant Wikipedia articles.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
  6. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
    2. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:23, 11 November 2016 (UTC)[]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overview
    1. Add a dedicated Overview slide.
    2. Consider including an example.
    3. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
    4. Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Basic coverage of relevant theory and research.
    2. The main area for improvement would be to focus more specifically on the relationship between sleep and motivation (rather than sleep and health).
    3. Well structured.
    4. Theory was well covered.
    5. Research was well covered.
    6. Include citations about evidence for claims.
    7. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
    8. No citations?
    9. Citations and references are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Create a dedicated Conclusion slide(s).
    2. A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is reasonable clear and well-paced.
  2. Image/Video
    1. Simple, effective use and text and image on slides.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Well titled.
    2. Link to chapter provided.
    3. Excellent use of the Description field.
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. OK; slightly distorted.
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Good
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Creative Commons.
    2. The copyright licenses and sources of the images are indicated.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:44, 21 November 2016 (UTC)[]