Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Mental illness and treatment motivation

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Comments[edit source]

Hello, I thought id give you a few starting references to use for your page :) Mental Health Treatment Seeking Among Older Adults with Depression: The Impact of Stigma and Race DEPRESSION STIGMA, RACE, AND TREATMENT SEEKING BEHAVIOR AND ATTITUDES Barriers to treatment seeking for anxiety disorders: initial data on the role of mental health literacy. Psychiatric Comorbidity and Treatment Seeking: Sources of Selection Bias in the Study of Clinical Populations.

Good luck with your chapter! --Arlo Porter (discusscontribs) 10:50, 23 September 2016 (UTC)

Hey, Great topic, I can't wait to see the chapter when it's finished. Attached are a couple of articles that may be helpful, one highlights the role of motivation in the success of treatment, the second emphahsis the inclusion of peer support as a means of increasing motivation and ultimately more successful outcomes throughout treatment. Good luck with the chapter. --U3090066 (discusscontribs) 16:50, 16 October 2016 (UTC)

Hay, really interesting and great chapter. I hope you don't mind but I went through and edited some grammar and in-text references issues. I hope it helps. --U3119480 (discusscontribs) 13:46, 18 October 2016 (UTC)

Hi, I thought this reads quite well, but possibly still needs a final pass for grammar. I didn't want to make changes to your work, but for example, it should be "Alzheimer's disease" rather than "Alzheimer disease". Also in Table 1 is the point "May increase impulsive" which should possibly be changed to "May increase impulsive behaviour". You could add in additional references to the World Health Organisation's ICD-10 if you wanted, as in some parts of the world it is more widely used than the DSM-5. Otherwise fantastic work! U3162556 (discusscontribs) 08:27, 4 November 2016 (UTC)

Feedback[edit source]

Hi Lorinda,

I like you inclusion of the Van Gogh painting, but I think you should also mention him in the text just to make it a little more relevant. I like you inclusion of a table, but at the top you should have another row that says "Disorder Type(??)" above the disorders and "Definition/explanation/description" above the right column. I also don't think you have cited or presented your Krause quote correctly within the text. I also suggest that you use some coloured boxes to break up the text as it is a little hard on the eyes. Information on that here. Under your Self-Determination Theory section you also switch titling styles. Maybe stick with one, otherwise it looks messy.

Otherwise, the chapter flows well and makes sense! Looking good so far! Good luck!

Cora --Cora.boyle (discusscontribs) 23:58, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Hi Lorinda, I agree with Cora, the chapter appears to flow well and the inclusion of the paintings works. Maybe introduce Gogh in the Overview. I note also that you are still working through and there are a number of grammatical edits that are needed. You may prefer to do these yourself, however, happy to do a once over when you have finished - if you like and that helps. I did edit the first section on Mental Illness - which you can change back if you are not happy with - however, they were minor changes. Also, you will need to reference the National Survey of Health and Wellbeing in APA format and place in your reference list. Hope these are helpful as a start but feel free to change back. U109993 (discusscontribs) 01:46, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

--Jazznicol (discusscontribs) 05:41, 21 October 2016 (UTC)Hi Lorinda! Agree with the two above, the Van Gogh painting is great there, but if you could mention him even just in the overview of something it might make it more relevant? Also, a few other things I picked up on (might be more personal preference so these are just ideas) 1) The quote you've used in the treatment motivation section is quite small, maybe make it the same size as the rest of the text? 2) The link to the article in the treatment motivation part is a great idea! However, I would change this to a hyperlink with another title (for example the actual title of the article) mainly to make it look more professional 3) When you explain the five stages of change model, the brackets in this part look a little untidy. It might help to have the part in the brackets directly after each stage, or line them all up.

Hope these little things help. Overall it is looking great though, with some excellent content :)

Hello. After reading your topic, I have gained some useful information. The work was interactive and easy to understand. Well done. -- (discuss) 07:03, 4 November 2016 (UTC)u3164249

Formatting & headings[edit source]

Hey! Great chapter. Love the use of the images, they really go well with the text and make it look more interactive. I made the headings of the disorders in the first table bold because I felt like that helps them to stand out more. Please feel free to change it if you don't like it! Also, in the Self-Determination Theory and Treatment Motivation section, perhaps if you make the headings larger and more prominent that would help a little, they get lost a bit in the text. The 5 stages in your other section would be good as a bigger heading too! Just so it is obvious to the reader :) overall, a great chapter and really interesting topic! Good work --U3112339 (discusscontribs) 07:21, 21 October 2016 (UTC)U3112339

Mental Illness Overview[edit source]

Hey Lorinda, I think your article is coming along nicely. Most of my points are slightly inter-related, so hopefully they make sense. I think the content is really good, but 'structurally' I found it slightly confusing but that is likely just me.

  • I can see why you introduce the various mental illnesses, to setup the topic, but it might be worth linking them to various treatment (motivational) challenges.
    • You discuss anorexia nervosa later in the article but it might be worth linking to this right at the start, and growing the point - people with AN see it as part of their identity, so treatment is difficult. See (10.1016/S0272-7358(98)00012-9).
    • Using the Deci and Ryan framework, perhaps you can grade the relative likelihood they'll seek treatment. People with AN are amotivated? Or they actually work against treatment, Deci and Ryan don't have a "shit no" motivation (maybe they should).
    • GAD might fall into intrinsic.
    • Depression might change based on how bad it is.
    • AN might fall into amotivation.
    • Whereas GAD might fall into intrinsic.
  • As a simpler option to what's above, it could even be worth moving the motivation paradox higher in the article. I read the theories discussed as being from the perspective of someone who's healthy and in a 'normal' frame of mind (perhaps a criticism too).
    • Overview, Mental Illness (problem), General motivation overview (solution // importance), motivational paradox (a gotcha to consider), theoretical approaches (with consideration to solving the problem, solution and the gotchas).

This might all be rambling, but hopefully it makes a bit of sense and maybe it'll make more sense if you've had confused ideas too. I know I did with my article, pretty much until the end...

TristanMM (discusscontribs)

Hey, I concur with a few of the suggestions previously mentioned, I think the content is great. Perhaps some color boxes to highlight certain section, some quiz questions and adding links throughout the chapter to relevant wikis etc would increase the engagement with the reader.

Comments[edit source]

Good luck with finishing of your chapter :) --U3090066 (discusscontribs) 18:28, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:54, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Comments[edit source]

Hey there! Your chapter is looking very well put together so far, with only a few more sections to be added and you'll be done! yay! You've used your pictures well and its visually appealing, which makes it more interesting to read :) One suggestion I might add is that in your "Self-determination theory and treatment motivation" section, its very dense. Meaning its such a large chunk of writing with lots of sub headings. Might I suggest adding some pretty boxes to break it up? Or another table like you did for your "Different types of mood disorders" table. Good luck with the rest of your chapter, its an interesting topic!--U3100166 (discusscontribs) 23:39, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  3. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Very good coverage and application of relevant theory.
  2. The Overview should ideally show closer adherence to addressing the topic, "What role does treatment motivation play in managing mental illness?". Fortunately the main body content is much more aligned with the topic.
  3. The Conclusion is reasonably good, but could be improved by spelling out take-home messages.
  4. The case study is helpful, but consider abbreviating and perhaps following through with an emphasis on theory-based solutions.

Research[edit source]

  1. Several useful/relevant research studies are cited, but the research evidence could be described in more detail.
  2. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  4. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression is reasonably good.
    1. For academic writing in psychology, such as this book chapter, write in third person rather than first (e.g., avoid "I', "we", "our") or second (e.g., "you", "your" etc.) person perspective.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Some clarification templates have been added to the page.
    4. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless this information is particularly pertinent. Instead, provide the citation at the end of the sentence.
    5. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience (e.g., internationalise external links).
    6. The chapter successfully addresses the topic and book theme.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
    2. Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections.
    3. Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections.
  3. Layout
    1. The use of painting images is interesting, but tangential to the topic and purpose of the chapter.
    2. Tables and Figures should be referred to in the main text.
    3. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Little integration with other chapters.
    2. Another chapter to integrate: Self-management and chronic illness
  5. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
  7. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  8. APA style
    1. Use APA style for table and figure captions.
    2. Check and correct the use of APA style for direct quotes.
    3. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    4. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:29, 17 November 2016 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient (prezi) presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overview
    1. Basic
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Basic coverage of theory. A lot of theory is covered. Perhaps consider synthesising and/or being more selective so that the most important theoretical perspectives are emphasised with examples and take-home messages.
    2. Minimal coverage of research.
    3. Consider using more examples.
    4. No citations?
    5. Citations and references are included.
    6. Consider connecting conceptually to motivational interviewing
  3. Conclusion
    1. General/vague
    2. A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Image/Video
    1. Increase font size to make text easier to read.
    2. Consider abbreviating to present less text per slide.
    3. Figures, tables, and images are used.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, basic tools used effectively.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Well titled.
    2. Add link to book chapter.
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Reasonable - some variation, however, between slides
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Effective use of prezi.
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is shown.
    2. Image links provided - but when I clicked on them, I got broken links

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:36, 20 November 2016 (UTC)