Talk:Motivation and emotion/Textbook/Motivation/Paraphilias

Chapter feedback

This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent, HD-level chapter. It is clearly that an enormous amount of background reading has been done and importantly this has been effectively organised into a clear structure, with clearly established focus questions. There is wide condideration of theory and this is always related back to paraphilia and motivation. Research is reported in depth (perhaps too in depth in places). Practical implications are considered (e.g., treatment) and the chapter makes effective use of a case study and quiz questions. Little more could reasonably be expected. There are some relatively minor suggestions below about written expression. Theory Research Discussion of Kafka's (1997) study could have been more effective if it was abbreviated somewhat. Focus more on the forest than the trees. Written expression Written expression Some paragraphs were overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. No wiki-links? Spelling, grammar and proofreading Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise APA style Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:03, 11 December 2010 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overview An enjoyable and informative presenation. Main area for improvement I suggest would be to cover fewer points, but with more illustration. Structure was very good - it served as both a summary and introduction Very clear audio. Excellent voice - very easy and interesting to listen to, with good intonation. Clear diagrams Good pauses between slides Font was too small :( Pronunciation: nor-eppin-efrin Nice ending on a positive note Perhaps more examples to help illustrate the key theoretical points (this might have meant having to focus on fewer key points, but embellishing each a bit). Content Conclusion Audio Video Meta-data Licensing

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:42, 14 December 2010 (UTC)