Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Alcohol addiction and emotional growth

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Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:37, 30 November 2018 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback[edit source]

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic chapter.
  2. A case study is useful, but the Overview should focus on "How does alcohol addiction affect emotional growth?" and outlining the problem/challenge and relevant psychological theory and research.
  3. This chapter shows no awareness of, or integration with, previous related chapters, such as Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Addiction and Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Drugs/Alcohol.
  4. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.

Theory[edit source]

  1. There is too much general theoretical material (e.g., about addiction, alcohol, emotion as separate constructs). Instead, summarise and link to further information (e.g., there have been previous relevant book chapters about addiction), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic. This is a relatively common problem, particularly with early drafts.
  2. Some basic relevant neurophysiological theory is described and explained.
  3. The emphasis of the chapter in on negative emotional effects, with no consideration of potential positive effects (e.g., via self-awareness, self-reflection etc. as part of a recovery progress - e.g., see literature on post-traumatic growth).

Research[edit source]

  1. Some relevant research is cited.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  4. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. There's a time and a place for a personal journey story, but for an academic third-year psychology synthesis of literature, use third person perspective, rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective. The key goal here is to demonstrate synthesis of the best available peer-reviewed academic literature that applies to a specific, unique problem/topic and to draw practical recommendations that apply as widely as possible.
    2. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
    3. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
    4. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
    5. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind).
    6. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    7. The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion).
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. See also and External links - Check out other book chapters for how to format these links
    4. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links.
    5. Basic use of images - Check out other book chapters for how to present and format images
    6. No use of tables.
    7. No use of feature boxes.
    8. No use of quizzes.
    9. Some use of case studies or examples.
  4. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
    3. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    4. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    5. Citations are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    6. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Add spaces between author initials.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:37, 30 November 2018 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section.
  2. The main issue, as with the book chapter, is too much general background information and not enough directly focused on the topic/questions (doesn't really start until 2:10).
  3. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  4. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.

Communication[edit source]

  1. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided, but the presentation could be improved by using larger font size.
  4. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The full chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  4. Add acknowledgement of image sources used in the presentation - copyright may have been violated.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  6. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  8. No written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:44, 30 November 2018 (UTC)