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Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Nicotine withdrawal and negative emotion

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Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Social contribution

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Hi,Hope this semester is going well for you.

My book chapter is also looking at what external elements can influence negative emotion. I had a look at some of the earlier chapters (from previous years) and it look like it might be a good idea to add in some ABS statistics on mental illnesses- particularly those the dsm considers to negative emotions eg anxiety , to be risk factors for. If I come across some good figures later on I'll be sure to share them.

Good luck with the course and chapter

Regards, Morgan Slater MorganSlater (discusscontribs) 19:09, 3 September 2017 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:11, 4 December 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a problematic chapter because it lacks sufficient focus on the assigned topic and doesn't sufficiently review relevant literature to answer the question in the sub-title.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.
  1. The Overview and Conclusion are OK, but are broader than required and lack sufficient focus on addressing the question in the sub-title. There are already other chapters about smoking cessation, smoking motivation etc. So, briefly mention these broader, related aspects and embed links to these chapters, allowing this chapter instead to provide a dedicated on focus on reviewing the best available academic literature about the effect of NW on NE.
  2. This chapter is categorised as an "emotion" chapter (see the 2017 book table of contents and specific use of "negative emotion" in the title and sub-title - and no mention of motivation), but the chapter drifts unnecessarily into motivation for smoking and smoking cessation, as well as other non-"negative emotion" aspects of smoking.
  3. There is too much general theoretical material about smoking and nicotine. Instead, summarise and provide links to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic. The assigned topic really only starts to be addressed with the section titled "Nicotine Withdrawal and Associated Symptoms". A significant expansion of this section would help to provide a stronger chapter. The next most relevant section is "Smoking Cessation – Dealing with Negative Emotions" - again, expansion of this material would help to strengthen the chapter.
  4. A lot of theoretical treatment models are presented - but none seem to mention or involve the role of negative emotions!?
  5. The case studies did not seem to involve negative emotion in smoking cessation/nicotine withdrawal.
  1. Most of the feedback about theory also apply to research - i.e., lack of focus on the assigned topic.
  2. Many statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Write for an international, not just Australian audience. Australians only make up 0.33% of the world human population.
  2. Layout
    1. Remove bold from headings; use the default heading style
    2. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links should be used on first mention of key words, such as emotion, but not on subsequent uses of the word.
    2. Limited use of images.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. No use of quizzes.
    5. Basic use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's
    2. Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the [spelling?] tags.
  5. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    3. Citations
      1. Check and correct APA style for citations (e.g., use of commas)
      2. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct punctuation
      2. Check and correct italicisation
      3. See new doi format


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall

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  1. Overall, ...
  1. Comments about the book chapter content also apply here.
  2. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  1. The presentation is easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. Very well narrated, well paces, with useful visual communication.
  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:27, 4 December 2017 (UTC)Reply