Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Youth suicide motivation

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Comments[edit source]

Hi Leah, I found this chapter really informative and interesting! I think this subject is really important to talk about. The only thing that I could suggest is maybe discussing the recovery and treatment options? Or as mentioned below in another feedback, some services for those in the community.- u3165502

Hi Leah, this is a really great chapter! Maybe an area to include would be adding some services in the community to help young individuals e.g. Lifeline or Beyond Blue. Also another point may be to include a few more questions in the quiz at the end of the study. Possibly some questions that they didn't know the answer to before reading the chapter. u3115009

Hey Leah, chapter is looking good, just thought I would share a link to an article on optimism as a protective factor hope its helpful http://rdcu.be/lmD5 Regards, u3094046 --B Laurie (discusscontribs) 08:17, 17 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Hey this is u3081127 (also known as Caitlin), I think this chapter is great and really important. Maybe you could describe community organisations to counteract and reduce youth suicide. Such as Beyond Blue or Youth groups. Keep going!!! u u3081127 15:57 11/10/16

Hi Leah, your chapter looks like it's been structured quite well and I think you've included some really interesting theories to explain teen suicide motivation. Have you thought about discussing how to overcome suicidal thought desires? I found this eBook chapter that discusses a dialectic model as a means for intervention in changing suicidal motivations: http://ebookcentral.proquest.com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/lib/canberra/reader.action?docID=1388813&ppg=21 I look forward to reading the rest of your chapter. Dana. Tuesday 11/10/16 - 9:13pm (Moodle)

Hey Leah, your book chapter looks great! It is structured really well. Good job! I also like the theories you have included to explain motivation for teen suicide. And how you have provided a help line. My one suggestion would be maybe talking about how to conquer suicidal thought desires specifically? Kind regards, Franchesca. Tuesday 11/10/16 - 12:52pm (Moodle)

Hi Leah, I just had a read of your chapter. I really like the diagram you have inserted about risk and protective factors as well as the case study you have used. Have you considered cultural differences when talking about suicide motivation? For example suicide bombers or Kamikazes, suicide pilots in Japanese culture. They might use other motivations such as religion or purpose for suicide. Jasmine. Tuesday 11/10/16 - 1:43pm (Moodle)


Hey, Looks like the chapter is coming along well. Can I suggest a content warning at the beginning of your chapter for people that may be triggered? Apart from that I think it was mentioned earlier but some more emphasis on NGO's and support groups throughout the community. Good luck with finishing the chapter off! --U3090066 (discusscontribs) 15:25, 17 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:17, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Structure[edit source]

Avoid having a single sub-section within a section; either add another sub-section or merge the content into the higher level section. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:18, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Changed common moitvators heading[edit source]

Hey! Just changed your 'most common motivators' heading to 'common motivators'. Just thought that it flowed a bit better. Feel free to change! Awesome chapter otherwise, interactive, informative and interesting.

--U3112339 (discusscontribs) 07:02, 22 October 2016 (UTC)U3112339[reply]


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapter provides a solid overview of risk factors for youth suicidality. Protective factors are mentioned early on, but not followed through - these could be helpful to emphasise further so that the chapter provides some practical take-home messages besides seek help.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  3. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Reasonable wide coverage of relevant theory; could perhaps benefit from some reorganisation (e.g., why end with the oldest perspective (psychodynamic)?)
  2. Clear Overview - perhaps mention key theories.
  3. Conclusion could emphasise some more practical take-home messages.
  4. The case study is helpful - perhaps it could be followed through to a positive resolution based on the theoretical perspectives?

Research[edit source]

  1. Several very useful/relevant research studies are described.
  2. Was the Freud (1915) source directly consulted? If not, don't cite it (or use a secondary citation).
  3. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  4. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  5. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression is reasonably good.
    1. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience.
    2. For academic writing in psychology, such as this book chapter, write in third person rather than first (e.g., avoid "I', "we", "our") or second (e.g., "you", "your" etc.) person perspective.
    3. Use an active rather than a passive voice.
    4. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    5. Some paragraphs are overly long. Paragraphs should communicate a single key idea in about three to five sentences.
    6. Some clarification templates have been added to the page.
    7. The chapter successfully addresses the topic and book theme.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. The heading structure is quite detailed - consider simplifying.
    2. Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections.
  3. Layout
    1. Tables and/or Figures are used effectively.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Little integration with other chapters is evident - add/integrate interwiki links links to a wider range of other relevant chapters.
  5. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links.
    2. Add more Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
    3. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Grammar and proofreading
    1. Check and correct the use of abbreviations (such as "e.g.," and "i.e.,").
    2. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    3. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  7. APA style
    1. Use APA style for table and figure captions.
    2. Check and correct the use of APA style for direct quotes.
    3. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:47, 16 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  2. The presentation is well over the 3 minute time limit

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overview
    1. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
    2. Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Basic coverage of theory and research.
    2. Limited information about motivational prevention.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Basic, sufficient.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Image/Video
    1. Increase font size and reduce the amount of text to make text easier to read.
    2. Consider including images.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. The second slide seems to be repeated?
  3. Meta-data
    1. The title is correct (accurately reflects the book chapter).
    2. Well titled.
    3. A link to the presentation is provided but I wasn't able to copy it and go to it because of its length (check).
    4. Description is minimal but sufficient.
  4. Audio recording quality
    1. Sufficient; some variation between slides
  5. Image/video recording quality
    1. Good
    2. Effective use of simple tools.
    3. Excellent
  6. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is shown.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 14:11, 20 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]