Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Sexual motivation and hormones

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Feedback[edit]

Hi!

I know you aren't finished yet but I've noticed you haven't correctly captioned your images. The norm is Figure 1. Title. I love that you mention dolphins, it immediately makes the chapter more interesting. I have also noticed you have a lot in in-text references missing! Don't forget those!

Maybe you could consider putting your defintions in a table or inside a coloured box? Info on how to do that here. Otherwise an interesting read! Good luck!

Cora --Cora.boyle (discusscontribs) 23:34, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:09, 21 October 2016 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. In general, the first part of the body text addresses the topic, but the second half wanders off topic as it searches for other causes of sexual motivation.
  3. The Summary/Conclusion in places is problematic e.g., "...psychological theories of sexual motivation have little reference to the effect of hormones?" - really?![1]
  4. The argument in the Conclusion that delayed parenting by women is indicative that hormones don't play a strong role in sexual motivation is problematic, especially given the earlier citation about how few acts of sexual intercourse result in pregnancy. Ideally, the Conclusion should emphasise practical, take-home key points rather than new arguments.
  5. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit]

  1. Of the focus questions in the Overview, only one is directly relevant to addressing the topic (i.e., "What role do hormones play in motivating us to have sex?"). Answers to the rest of the questions can be briefly summarised with links to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the role of hormones in sexual motivation.
  2. Some brief explanation of what hormones are would help to orient a reader.
  3. An example of how the first part about hormones could be integrated with the second part about other causes of sexual motivaton, consider discussing the role of hormones in different stages of sexual arousal.
  4. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful.

Research[edit]

  1. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  2. The uncaptioned table doesn't make sense e.g., N/A for hormones? Provide written explanation.
  3. Was the Beach (1956) source directly consulted? If not, don't cite it (or use a secondary citation).
  4. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  5. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates such as [Rewrite to improve clarity], [explain?], [say what?], and [vague] may have been added to the page).
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Add wiki bullet points or numbered lists (some list items are pasted from a word processor without applying the markup for wiki bullet points).
  2. Structure and headings
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
    2. Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections.
    3. Use default heading styles; remove bold
  3. Layout
    1. Tables and/or Figures are used effectively.
    2. Figure captions could be improved by making them more explanatory.
    3. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Add interwiki links links to a wider range of other relevant chapters.
  5. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
    2. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  7. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  8. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    2. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:24, 11 November 2016 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  2. Overall, this is a solid presentation.
  3. Overall, this is a well prepared and executed presentation.
  4. Overall, this is a very well prepared and executed presentation.
  5. Overall, this is an excellent all-round presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. Too brief
    2. Set up the problem to be solved and tell the listener what the presentation will cover.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Focus on content which directly addresses the topic - the effect of hormones on sexual motivation - a fair bit of the content is on related matters (e.g., the functions of hormones and sexual response/motivation as separate constructions)
    2. Basic coverage of theory.
    3. Basic coverage of research. Research coverage was promising, but often not directly related to the target topic.
    4. Some citations.
    5. References are not included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. None provided.
    2. A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.

Communication[edit]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear, easy to listen to, and well-paced.
  2. Image/Video
    1. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
    2. The combination of images and text is effective.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Overall, well produced.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).
    2. Link to chapter provided.
    3. Good use of the Description field to provide relevant information.
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Good, but remove the background music at the beginning - it makes it more difficult to concentrate on the narration and visuals and there is what sounds like a mobile phone alert along the way.
    2. Consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality.
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Effective use of simple tools.
  5. Licensing
    1. The stated license in the description doesn't match the selected youtube license.
    2. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Standard YouTube License.
    3. Partial information about the copyright licenses and sources of the images used is provided - provide more detail e.g., the direct links to the sources.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:43, 21 November 2016 (UTC)