Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/School belonging motivation

Comments

Hi! I see you have a section of the benefits of school belonging. You could discuss how academic achievement is affected by school belonging? Found this article on it if you're interested Goodenow, C., & Grady, K. E. (1993). The relationship of school belonging and friends' values to academic motivation among urban adolescent students. The Journal of Experimental Education, 62(1), 60-71. The full pdf of the article was difficult to find, but I do have it downloaded so if you want it I can email it to you? Just email me if you want it :) --U3117592 (discuss • contribs) 03:40, 4 October 2016 (UTC)

Hi, your book chapter is well written and has a great structure. Two very minor suggestions. You could provide one sentence in your overview to explain what you are going to cover in your chapter. Also, you haven't actually defined motivation anywhere. You could add a brief definition before you jump into discussing intrinsic motivation. Otherwise great job on the research and theory you have included. --BecNorton (discuss • contribs) 09:29, 11 October 2016 (UTC)

Hey your chapter looks great so far! One small suggestion I have is to create a different coloured dialogue box for your case study? I think this would just make the case study stand out a little bit more and it would be easier for them to find. The syntax for creating a different dialogue box is

{ { RoundBoxTop|theme=2 } } - To change the colour of the box just change the number after the word "theme" from 1-4 (just copy and paste the syntax and then delete the spaces between the brackets.

{ { RoundBoxBottom } } - Put this syntax right at the end of your case study

I hope you find this edit helpful :) --U3117614 (discuss • contribs) 01:24, 13 October 2016 (UTC) U3117614

Hey Great chapter! I was thinking that for children who feel as if they don't belong at school they might be subject to bullying? It seems to be a growing issue in schools and I wasn't sure if you wanted to touch on that as it can have quite devastating impacts on children throughout their childhood but also into their adult life. Just a suggestion :) --Mckeak (discuss • contribs) 22:57, 22 October 2016 (UTC)

Structure

Avoid having a single sub-section within a section; either add another sub-section or merge the content into the higher level section. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:07, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a reasonably solid chapter which could be improved by abbreviating the background theoretical material and expanding the detail about theory, and particularly research, on school belonging motivation. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements. Was the Freud (1930) (and other older citations) source directly consulted? If not, don't cite it (or use a secondary citation). Theory Abbreviate the general theoretical material and provide references and links to further information. This would allow more space to apply the theories to the specific topic in more detail. The case study(ies) is(are) helpful. Research Abbreviate the description of school belonging measurement and expand description of school belong research study methods and results. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression Some paragraphs are overly long. Paragraphs should communicate a single key idea in about three to five sentences. Some clarification templates have been added to the page. The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion, with clearer focus question(s) (Overview) and take-home self-help message for each focus question (Conclusion). The Overview and Conclusion are clear and well-written. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience. Structure and headings Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections. Layout Tables and Figures should be referred to in the main text. Integration with other chapters Some integration with other chapters is evident. Learning features Some use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles - more could be added. Grammar and proofreading Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals'). APA style The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:54, 15 November 2016 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation. Structure and content Overview Problem established Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation. Selection and organisation Given the exclusive focus on SDT (not unreasonable), perhaps this should be reflected in the title/subtitle? Real answer starts at about 1:30 - applying SDT to building school belonging (ideally, start the answer earlier) Citations and references are included. Conclusion Sufficient A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful. Communication Audio Audio is clear and reasonably well-paced - perhaps a little too fast. Leave longer pauses between sentences. Image/Video Present less text and increase font size to make text easier to read. Consider including more images. Production quality Overall, basic production. Meta-data Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter). Link to chapter provided. Audio recording quality OK Consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality. Image/video recording quality Good Recording includes bottom bar from computer screen (switch off) Licensing A copyright license for the presentation is shown. The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:15, 21 November 2016 (UTC)