Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Rituals and emotion

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Comments[edit]

Hello. Heres an interesting theory i found regarding religious rituals http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-003-1000-6 Its called 'Costly signalling theory', and it states that a member engages in religious rituals to signal a costly commitment to that religion, in order to receive the benefits of group membership. It seems like it is partly an evolutionary theory as well All the best Arlo

Feedback[edit]

Interesting chapter concept! I know you are still in the early stages but I suggest adding some images. I also think it would be interesting if you mentioned some ancient rituals. The Magna Graeca/Tarantella for example, which was a dance used in Greco-Roman times to ask Dionysus to rid unrequited love from their lives and make them happier. I also think you could rephrase the sentence "For the purpose of this book chapter, the concept of a ‘ritual’ shall be characterised via the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and Thesaurus (2016) definition to states ‘a series of activities involving gestures, words and objects performed in accordance to a specific sequence within an isolated or purposeful environment’" as it is very long. I think you should split it into two sentences. Maybe you could put the definitions of formalism and traditionalism in a table to make it more interesting to look at? Good luck!

Cora --Cora.boyle (discusscontribs) 23:21, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:15, 22 October 2016 (UTC)


Hey, Interesting concept for your chapter. You covered the topic well and incorporated a few different perspectives into the discussion of ritualistic practices. Through the process of completing your chapter I would suggest adding some interactive components to engage the reader and include some images/tables etc just to break up the text. Best of luck with completing your chapter --U3090066 (discusscontribs) 03:37, 22 October 2016 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a promising, but unnecessarily complex chapter in its written expression.
  2. The chapter could be improved by using simpler language, shorter sentences, and shorter paragraphs.
  3. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  4. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.

Theory[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. Consider including an example or case study.
  2. Body
    1. There is a lack of direct consideration of emotion - and ritual and emotion.
    2. I didn't understand the extent of focus on marriage, religion and specifically Catholic and Islamic religious ritual - this wasn't part of the topic question. It could work to include examples of specific Catholic or Islamic marriage rituals as examples, but focusing on such contexts was not intrinsic to addressing the psychological topic.
    3. Much of the material is quite abstract; consider including more examples or case studies to help make the concepts easier to understand.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Too long; new content is introduced that should be in the main body.
    2. Could be improved by providing some more concrete, take-home messages.

Research[edit]

  1. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  2. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  3. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Overly wordy.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Paragraphs should communicate a single key idea in about three to five sentences.
    3. Some sentences are overly long.
    4. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates such as [Rewrite to improve clarity], [explain?], [say what?], and [vague] may have been added to the page).
    5. The lacks practical take-home messages.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
    2. Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections.
  3. Layout
    1. No images or tables were used. Frowny.svg
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. No integration with other chapters is evident. Frowny.svg
  5. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
    2. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  7. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct the use of [1]abbreviations (such as "e.g.," and "i.e.,")].
    3. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  8. APA style
    1. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    2. The reference list is not in full APA style.
    3. Check and correct the use of APA style for direct quotes.
    4. Check and correct the use of "&" vs. "and" (Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:06, 29 November 2016 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Multimedia.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. Well over the 3 minute maximum time limit.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. Too brief
    2. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
    3. An example could help to set the scene and engage the viewer.
    4. Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Too much content is presented - be more selective - e.g., work backwards from 3 take-home messages to work out what content needs to be presented - and then focus on only that which is essential to conveying these messages.
    2. Theory rich; research poor.
    3. Doesn't clearly address a self-help theme.
    4. Consider using more illustrative examples.
    5. Citations and references are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. None provided.

Communication[edit]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio narration is too fast to easily comprehend - consider slowing down. See this article for more information about speaking rates.
    2. Consider using greater variation in intonation to engage listener interest.
    3. Leave longer pauses between sentences.
  2. Visuals
    1. Basic - approximately half a dozen text-based slides with some images.
    2. Far too much text is presented; to improve abbreviate and present less text with larger font.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).
    2. Add a link to the book chapter.
    3. Fill out the Description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or transcript).
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Sufficient
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Sufficient
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Standard YouTube License.
    2. The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:25, 29 November 2016 (UTC)