Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Recreational learning motivation

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Hi, The article attached highlights the benefits of recreational learning as it applies to children and their psychological well-being. An interesting read and hopefully helpful to your chapter. Good luck with it :) (discusscontribs) 18:20, 12 October 2016 (UTC)

--U3119842 (discusscontribs) 02:53, 13 October 2016 (UTC)Hi there, Great topic! I am interested in the factors that can undermine learning motivation. In particular the schooling and grading system. In case you were interested, I have attached an article that discusses how providing students with less control and opportunities to make their own decisions in middle school can undermine learning motivation. Good luck!


Avoid having a single sub-section within a section; either add another sub-section or merge the content into the higher level section. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:51, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Wiki links[edit]

This chapter could be improved by linking the first mention of key words to corresponding Wikipedia articles e.g., anxiety. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:50, 23 October 2016 (UTC)

Sentence revision[edit]

Hey there,

Fantastic chapter! Just had trouble following a couple of sentences which I have pasted below! Other then that youve done a terrific job :) Leisure motivation: Through research such as Kelly’s (2009) leisure or recreational activities can be defined as activities that an individual chooses to take part in outside of work, leisure activities can be considered to be non-essential to living or survival.

Hierarchy of human needs: In particular growth motivation can be considered (Maslow, 1943), Maslow (1943) stated that with in the proposed need hierarchy there are two kinds of motivation growth and deficiency.

Chapter review: Though understanding what motivates people to take part in recreational learning it is possible to use this understanding to get more people more engaged in recreational learning in order to benefit from the health and well-being improvements that could be gained. --U3119842 (discusscontribs) 10:30, 23 October 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter which could be improved by providing more detail about relevant research and proofreading for grammatical errors.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  3. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.


  1. In the Overview, present a one-section (without sub-sections) Overview of why the topic is important and what will be covered in the chapter. Perhaps consider introducing the topic through a case study.
  2. There is surprisingly little mention of children's informal learning (e.g., through play) and/or retiree learning (e.g,. University of the 3rd age) - in other words, recreational learning across the lifespan.
  3. Some theory is discussed in general, without research evidence to indicate its relationship to recreational learning (e.g., Maslow's hierarchy of needs).
  4. Consider breaking the Conclusion into a couple of paragraphs and including practical, take-home messages.


  1. Several relevant research studies are cited, but the chapter could be improved by describing the most important studies in more detail

described. They tend to be described one after the other. To improve the review of research, look for patterns and themes and try to synthesise the findings in order to convey a greater depth of understanding.

  1. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  2. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Was the Maslow (1943) source directly consulted? If not, don't cite it (or use a secondary citation).

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression is reasonably good, but could benefit from closer proofreading.
    1. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    2. Some clarification templates have been added to the page.
    3. Some sentences are overly long.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections.
  3. Layout
    1. Figures are used effectively. Figures are very well captioned.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Minimal integration with other chapters is evident.
    2. Add interwiki links links to a wider range of other relevant chapters.
  5. Learning features
    1. Some use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles - more could be added.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  7. APA style
    1. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for paginated journals.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:05, 17 November 2016 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.



  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter) rather the providing definitions of terms.
    2. Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Basic coverage of theory and research.
    2. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
    3. No citations?
  3. Conclusion
    1. No conclusion?
    2. A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.


  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear and generally well-paced (slightly too fast - take longer pauses between sentences).
    2. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.[1]
  2. Video
    1. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
    2. Consider including images.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. The title of the presentation differs from the book chapter - rename/retitle the presentation so that it includes the same title and subtitle as the book chapter.
    2. Description is minimal but sufficient.
  3. Image and video recording quality
    1. Good
  4. Audio recording quality
    1. Good
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is shown.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:15, 19 November 2016 (UTC)