Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Plants in the office and emotion

Comments

Hi! I saw that you posted in Moodle about having an extension and wanting some people to look over your work. Hopefully you still have the extension as I would like to comment on your chapter! I have gone through and made a few edits to spelling/grammer/sentence structure stuff, but nothing major. First of all, your chapter is really interesting! It's making me want to get a plant in my room ahaha. Your section on research is very well, um, researched! I especially liked what you said in the weaknesses part about the lack of research into other senses like touch/taste/smell etc. While the next section on theories is also very well researched, its a bit hard to read. Maybe (if you have words to spare) try to flesh out those paragraphs just a little with your own eleborations or insights on the theories, maybe throw in a quick example. You might want to liven up the page somewhat by moving some of the images to the left side (you can do this in advanced settings when adding or editing an image). Also I'd suggest moving the quiz either further down the page or right before the end.

Hope that helps!

- Sabrina --U3117165 (discuss • contribs) 09:53, 2 November 2016 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi, This chapter is looking great! It is easy to read and sticks to the topic. I agree with Sabrina. It would be good to move some of the images to improve the layout. Particularly, the 'Wheel of Emotions' image. Could you move that under the text - centered? Or rearrange things slightly, as that section on defining emotion looks a little ‘bald’ after the small text section, compared to the rest of the page. I have also made a couple of minor direct grammar/typo changes - in your 'boxes' as well. Really liked the Case studies at the end. It was a really good way of applying what you had discussed already to the real world - before summing up in your conclusion. I hope this helps you and best of luck with the submission! I also have an extension. My topic is on 'Grit'. Only have the bones up there so far, but am hoping to have most of the text done by the weekend so that I can just work on the formatting and multimedia from there. Would appreciate your thoughts on my chapter if you have time to check in then?? --U944295 (discuss • contribs) 13:34, 2 November 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a solid chapter which could be improved by providing a more indepth review of research. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements. Theory Overview Establishes the importance and relevance of the topic. Body Well-selected, focus on a range of relevant theories, although there is room to further explain how plants can help to alleviate negative emotions and promote positive emotions. The case study(ies) is(are) helpful - however, I wonder if the claimed effects go beyond the research evidence presented? Theory discussion is somewhat integrated with discussion of research - there seems to be a lack of research specifically about the psychological effect of office plants. Conclusion Offers a succint summary. Addresses self-help theme. Research Some review and description of relevant research, but more could be said about the relationship between office plants and emotion based on research (rather than just generalising from other nature contact studies). When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression Overall, well written. Some paragraphs are overly long. Paragraphs should communicate a single key idea in about three to five sentences. Avoid colloquialisms (e.g., huge, extraordinary, incredible, absolutely etc.). Structure and headings Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections. Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections. Layout Tables and/or Figures are used effectively. Some integration with other chapters - also consider incorporating other chapters listed here: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Nature Add interwiki links links to a wider range of other relevant chapters. Learning features Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement. Spelling Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour). APA style The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:40, 3 January 2017 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent all-round presentation. Structure and content Overview Excellent use of scenario. Could focus more clearly on the role of plants in office design. Grammar - that vs who Selection and organisation Well selected content - not too much or too little. Well structured. Has a wonderful narrative structure that fits with the project self-improvement theme. Combines theory and research. Addresses a self-help theme. Uses meaningful examples. Include references for citations. Conclusion Take-home messages / key points are well summarised. Communication Audio Well narrated. Varied intonation added interest and engagement. Visuals The animated combination of images and text is effective in attracting and sustaining viewer attention. Production quality Overall, excellent production. Meta-data Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter). Link to and from the book chapter provided. Excellent use of the Description field to provide relevant information. Audio recording quality Good, clear Consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality. Image/video recording quality Excellent Licensing The stated license in the description doesn't match the selected youtube license. The copyright licenses and sources of the images are indicated.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:03, 3 January 2017 (UTC)