Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Overcoming social stigmas

Time for improvement

Hi.

I was not satisfied with my chapter as submitted, although it was graded as distinction. This is a topic I care passionately about and I want to leave behind something great, not something "decent".

I will be making improvements over the next few days (or however long it takes) in order to bring it to a standard I am happy with. I'm going to start by replacing the SAGE Handbook references with the individual chapters - I didn't do this originally because my attention was more focused on at least getting the chapter written. Plus I returned the book to the library at the earliest opportunity because it's a really great resource I think others should have had the opportunity to use for their chapters - and the UC library only has the one copy. That one book made a huge difference to the quality of my chapter by giving me clear information about the concerns views among academics on these topics - something that can be difficult to find in Journal papers - and where you do find them they're usually referencing some other resource!

I have already re-recorded the multimedia and improved it, information is below, including the grade I was given and the link to the old which I'll leave up permanently as a resource for students to view.

My best regards to whomever is reading!

-- Daniel J Baxter (discuss • contribs) 03:09, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

Article suggestions

Hey there, interesting topic! You've started off really well and I cant wait to see what else you write about. Here is an article on the self-protective properties of stigma that you might find interesting: Crocker, J., & Major, B. (1989). Social stigma and self-esteem: The self-protective properties of stigma. Psychological review, 96(4), 608.--U3119842 (discuss • contribs) 04:06, 24 October 2016 (UTC)

Hi Daniel,

Wow, your chapter is going great! Your writing is very good and a pleasure to read. Your structure flow's really well together and has good logical progression. Your topic drew me in and is very interesting. After my chapter is marked, I am going to put a link to yours in. The only thing I would add is the factor of no color or images yet. I found it very slow to search for images and upload them to commons, way easier to get them straight from wiki commons. Also, hoping to give you benefit of hindsight, in my last minute stress I didn't add any interactive component to my chapter, and now I am kicking myself!! Best of luck, I hope you aren't up all night! --Lorinda (discuss • contribs) 24 October 2016 (UTC)

Hi Daniel

Just had a read over your chapter and its great. My suggestion would be to see if you can weave in a basic definition of stigma into your overview, as I was reading it I found myself wondering if I actually knew what it was. I didnt see much about stigma on those with a physical disability. It might not be of use at this late stage but Id imagine there some research on this. Finally, as per Lorinda's suggestion, may some colour or images can be added just to break up the text. Other than that its a very interesting read. Good luck with get it finalised and submitted. Thanks --U985072 (discuss • contribs) 22:58, 6 November 2016 (UTC)

Official multimedia information

Information for students Hi, if you're reading this and you're a student please take note that the feedback below was given based on my original presentation (and please feel free to view it!) The mark for that version was 89/100, with most of the lost marks due to neglecting the overview. The current video is an improvement which takes into account the feedback received. I made three main improvements: I added an overview slide. The video is not edited - the original recording was edited in 4 or 5 places to reduce the time from 3:24 to 3:04. One of those edits is quite obvious, but the others were pretty seamless. For re-recording I shortened those sections in the notes making editing unnecessary. I removed the references slide and replaced it with a fresh end-screen slide instead. I made a few other minor improvements to the slides which you will notice if comparing to the original. If you are a student here's the best advice I can give regarding recorded presentations after doing several of them: Record them fresh in the morning, rather than in the afternoon or in the evening. After you write your notes try conflating some of the sentences so they flow together when spoken. Make sure you're familiar with your recording software ahead of time. I used OBS classic. -- Daniel J Baxter (discuss • contribs) 03:09, 28 November 2016 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a solid, effective, well constructed presentation. Structure and content Overview Too brief Add an Overview slide. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter). Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation. Selection and organisation Well selected content - not too much or too little. Well structured. Combines theory and research. Addresses a self-help theme. Uses meaningful examples. Citations and references are included. Conclusion Take-home messages / key points are well summarised. Communication Audio Well narrated. Audio is clear and well-paced. Varied intonation added interest and engagement. Present in the third person (i.e., avoid "I", "my", "we" etc.) because the presentation should be about the topic, not the presenter. Visuals Simple but effective. The combination of images and text is effective. Visuals are well prepared, clear, and easy to read. Production quality Overall, well produced. Meta-data Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter). Link to the book chapter provided. Excellent use of the Description field to provide relevant information. Audio recording quality Very good Image/video recording quality Effective use of simple tools. Licensing A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Creative Commons. The sources of the images are indicated, although the copyright allowing their re-use isn't clear.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:18, 23 November 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a solid chapter which incorporates a balanced, critical review of relevant theory and research and applies this information to the practical problem of how to motivate overcoming of stigma. By my calculation, the chapter is over the maximum word count. The copyedits I've made included suggested ways of reducing the word by removing unnecessary material. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements. Theory Overview Reasonably clear and well-written. Establishes the importance and scope of the topic. Perhaps consider using a more concrete, 3rd person example rather than an imagined example (bit obscure/vague). The quote related to stigma towards people with mental health problems - but the chapter is about overcoming social stigma more broadly (mismatch). There is a tendency to overemphasise physical and mental illness stigma. It could be helpful to make this point more prominently (e.g., in the Overview), that "anyone who could find themselves in a minority group in some place at some time could potentially face being stigmatised by others". The Conclusion is clear and well-written. Research Very good coverage of a range or relevant research, although key studies could be described in more detail. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) (minor) Written expression Overall, written expression is reasonably good, but there are some problematic aspects. For academic writing in psychology, such as this book chapter, write in third person rather than first (e.g., avoid "I', "we", "our") or second (e.g., "you", "your" etc.) person perspective. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned) - good text should flow without such phrases being needed. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience. The chapter successfully addresses the topic and book theme. Some clarification templates have been added to the page. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter. Avoid colloquialisms. Structure and headings The chapter is well-structured. Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections. Layout There is minimal use of images or tables. Figure captions could be improved by making them more explanatory. Add bullet-points for External links. Integration with other chapters The chapter provides an excellent range of relevant links to other Wikiversity pages. Learning features Some use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles is provided in the earlier parts of the chapter- more could be added. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement. Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Check and correct use of colons (e.g., no colon is needed for "Specifically these topics are of interest to the disciples of: anthropology, political science, neuroscience, social psychology, and sociology.") Exclamation marks should be used sparingly, if at all, in academic writing. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals'). APA style Direct quotes need page numbers. Use APA style for table and figure captions. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations (e.g., use of "and" vs. "&"). Where single quotation marks have been used, APA style would use double quotation marks. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)). The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:03, 26 November 2016 (UTC)