Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Negative emotion and unhealthy food

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Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:57, 18 October 2016 (UTC)

Videos[edit source]

I'm looking forward to reading your chapter! The effects of good and poor nutrition is one of those topics which really catches my attention. If I can suggest anything, is that you should do a part specific to sugar, and the effect it has on your brain. That would fit your topic well because of the apparent 'come downs' we have after eating a lot of sugar. I found a ted talk on the effect of sugar on the brain, it's not specific to how it makes us feel bad (just more on how awesome it makes us feel and how that effects us long term). You could include it in your 'see also' section :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEXBxijQREo

This one is on how food effects depression: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5vfoUVY4-4

Why we cant stop eating unhealthy foods: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTNlHyjip94

Good luck with your chapter!! :) Chot24 (discusscontribs) 01:34, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

Feedback[edit source]

Hi! I like the structure you currently have going! Very clear and well thought out. I just have one thing; your table under emotional eating is enormous and not very fun to read. Obviously it isn't complete yet but I would consider separating it or only putting in the most interesting/relevant content. Also, I suggest adding some images, like pictures of unhealthy food maybe? I also think you could maybe tie-in something about the obesity crisis at present?

Cora --Cora.boyle (discusscontribs) 09:07, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Table captions[edit source]

Check/correct APA style for table captions. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:05, 22 October 2016 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter which incorporates a balanced, critical overview of relevant theory and research.
  2. The chapter could be improved by making more effective use of the interactive wiki environment.
  3. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  4. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Instead of using a long quote from an old source to define emotion and unhealthy food, paraphrase and put into your own words.
  2. Drop definitions section and integrate this material into the other sections.
  3. Very good coverage of relevant theoretical perspectives.
  4. Consider including more examples or case studies.
  5. The Conclusion could be improved by emphasising practical, take-home messages.

Research[edit source]

  1. Several very useful/relevant research studies are described.
  2. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  4. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  5. Table 1 provides a handy summary of findings with effect sizes.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression is generally good.
    1. Write for an international, not just an Australian, audience.
    2. The chapter successfully addresses the topic and book theme.
    3. Some clarification templates have been added to the page.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. Each section should include at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections.
  3. Layout
    1. Add bullet-points for External links.
    2. Some images are used, but the chapter could be improved by adding more images.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. The chapter provides a good range of relevant links to other Wikiversity pages.
  5. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
  7. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  8. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style for figure and table captions.
    2. Check and correct the use of "&" vs. "and" (Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets).
    3. subjects -> participants
    4. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    5. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:46, 15 November 2016 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good, simple presentation.
  2. Slightly over the maximum time limit - look to abbreviate theory.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overview
    1. Good use of focus question.
    2. Tell the listener roughly what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
    3. No need to refer to the Wikiversity chapter.
    4. Gif memes provided useful examples.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Theory was well covered.
    2. Research was well covered.
    3. No citations?
    4. References are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Key message well summarised.
    2. Consider adding a Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful. This would require reducing some of the body content.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
    2. Some minor mispronunciations
  2. Image/Video
    1. Increase font size to make text easier to read.
    2. The combination of images and text is effective.
    3. Perhaps more images, tables, figures etc. could be used to help illustrate the information.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, reasonably good, simple production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Include subtitle in youtube title and/or description
    2. Link to chapter provided.
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Excellent
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Check font colour - e.g., red on purple is hard to read
    2. Otherwise excellent
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is shown. Standard YouTube License.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:33, 21 November 2016 (UTC)