Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Mobile phone addiction

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Comments[edit source]

Hi, this is a really great chapter on the addictive behaviours of phone use. The only small detail I would add would be to talk a little bit more about the driving accidents paragraph a bit more. I have found a great article that talks about the various factors regarding dialling and driving Hope you find this helpful! u31115009

Hi I have found a useful article which may help you to begin your chapter, it is titled: Evaluation of mobile phone addiction level and sleep quality in university students. The article will be a good source to start formulating the overview and definition headings of your chapter. It discusses that addiction is higher in specific groups of people such as those with a poor family income and those with type A personality. The article also discusses the impact addiction has on an individuals quality of sleep which would be an interesting area to include in your chapter. The article can be accessed through EBSCOhost on the university library website page. I hope you find this helpful, all the best! --LeoDean1993 (discusscontribs) 07:53, 1 October 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Hello, I have found a useful video on using cell phone is addictive, hope it's going to be helpful Also I find an article trying to explain this cell phone addiction from a person's psychological characters, the title is "A model of the relationship between psychological characteristics, mobile phone addiction and use of mobile phones by Taiwanese university female students", (discusscontribs) 11:51, 20 October 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Hello! I have added some images, fixed your layout and general subheadings! I have also added the option to add some external links, for a wider breadth of information, for future improvement! --U3160224 (discusscontribs) 05:40, 20 August 2020 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:47, 10 November 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Wiki links[edit source]

This chapter could be improved by linking the first mention of key words to corresponding Wikipedia articles e.g., anxiety. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:46, 23 October 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Abbreviate historical information about mobile phones and link to relevant Wikipedia material for more information - that way, this chapter can focus on understanding mobile phone addiction.
  2. The Overview implies that this chapter is to focus on risks of mobile phone usage - but this is not the topic Frowny.svg - the topic is "What motivates addictive mobile phone use?"
  3. Nomophobia appears to be conceptually conflated mobile phone addiction - these are related, but separate phenomenon. Link to more information about nomophobia - previous book chapter - Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Nomophobia and emotion and build this chapter around understanding of mobile phone addiction.
  4. No adequate understanding of addiction is communicated. To improve, summarise addiction motivation, linking to previous relevant chapters, and explain how this applies (or doesn't) to mobile phone use addiction.
  5. There is no need for the indepth examination of mobile phone use of driving - summarise briefly and link to the dedicated chapter(s) on this topic e.g., see
  6. After the Overview, the next section should be What motivates mobile phone use?
  7. Use of the TPB is weak/unconvincing.
  8. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful.

Research[edit source]

  1. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  2. Limited range of referencing e.g., heavy reliance on Wei (2006)
  3. Lack of description of relevant research.
  4. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  5. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates such as [Rewrite to improve clarity], [explain?], [say what?], and [vague] may have been added to the page).
  3. See earlier comments about heading casing
  4. No images or tables were used.
  5. Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
  6. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links.
  7. Limited use of quiz questions. Question focuses on a somewhat tangential fact rather than a conceptual understanding of the topic and practical, take-home messages.
  8. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
    2. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  9. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  10. APA style
    1. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:47, 10 November 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.
  2. The presentation is well over the maximum time limit.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overview
    1. Too brief
    2. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
    3. Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Too much content - be more selective and look to summarise/synthesise.
    2. Lacks sufficient focus on the central question: What motivates addictive mobile phone use?
    3. The presentation is about mobile phone use more generally rather than on what motivates addictive mobile phone use.
    4. Probably the most relevant content are the motivations of mobile phone usage at around 4 minutes.
    5. Citations and references are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. None provided.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear and reasonably well-paced, but is slightly fast and it goes for too long. Leave longer pauses between sentences.
    2. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.[1]
  2. Visuals
    1. Visuals mainly involve slides of text.
    2. Consider using more images, figures, tables etc.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).
    2. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or transcript).
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Sufficient
    2. Consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality.
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Effective use of simple tools.
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Standard YouTube License.
    2. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Creative Commons.
    3. The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:06, 22 November 2016 (UTC)Reply[reply]