Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Euphoria as an emotion

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Comments[edit]

Hi Great chapter so far., interesting topic. I will be interested to see how you bring it all together. I have been through your chapter and made some amendments for spelling and grammar. I also noticed some of your intext references need to be tidied up. I think including an outline of what you intend to cover at the start of the chapter might help to clarify what the chapter will cover. I hope this helps. Goof luck with rest of it. Thanks --U985072 (discusscontribs) 21:52, 29 October 2016 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, sufficient chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  3. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.
  4. The chapter is well under the maximum word count.

Theory[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. Basic but sufficient.
    2. The example might work better if the reader is the athlete/performer rather than a viewer?
    3. This chapter has an over-reliance on dictionary definitions; preferably consult and cite peer-reviewed psychological literature.
    4. Full citation not provided for Karl-Ernst Buhler quote.
    5. Could be improved by outlining the major theories/research.
  2. Body
  3. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.
    1. Examples or case studies or tips for experiencing euphoria could be helpful.
    2. A well-selected range of causes of euphoria are considered.
    3. Causes of euphoria are well integrated with discussion of research, with a strong emphasis on neurological pathways, particularly the dopamine-reward circuit.
  4. Conclusion
    1. Weak; offer a succint summary and emphasise take-away messages that relate to the book theme.

Research[edit]

  1. Reasonable coverage of relevant research, but the studies and their practical implications could be described in more detail.
  2. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Consider possibly reporting on meta-analytic findings.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter addresses the topic and book theme but lacks practical take-home messages.
    2. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates such as [Rewrite to improve clarity], [explain?], [say what?], and [vague] may have been added to the page).
    3. Some clarification templates have been added to the page.
    4. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
  2. Structure and headings
    1. Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections.
  3. Layout
    1. Some images are used.
    2. Tables and Figures should be referred to in the main text.
  4. Integration with other chapters
    1. Basic integration with other chapters is evident.
  5. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions are used in a basic way to encourage reader engagement.
  6. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
    2. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  7. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences needs to be improved for the written expression to be of professional standard (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  8. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    3. Check and correct the use of APA style for direct quotes.
    4. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:55, 4 January 2017 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Multimedia.png

Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Overview
    1. Add a Title slide.
    2. Includes focus questions and an example.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Probably too much content is presented about the dopamine reward pathway - be more selective - e.g., work backwards from 3 take-home messages to work out what content needs to be presented - and then focus on only that which is essential to conveying these messages. In this way, more could be said about other theoretical perspectives about euphoria and/or research.
    2. Theory rich; research poor.
    3. Doesn't clearly address a self-help theme.
    4. Somewhat addresses a self-help theme.
    5. Addresses a self-help theme.
    6. Include citations.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Somewhat too brief/general - drill down to some practical, take-away messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio narration is reasonably well past, but somewhat it is somewhat difficult to understand the pronunciation - consider slowing down and pronouncing some words more clearly.
    2. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.[1]
  2. Visuals
    1. Basic - approximately half a dozen text-based slides with some images.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Overall, basic production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Rename the title so that it includes the title (and matches the book chapter).
    2. Add a link to the book chapter.
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Sufficient
    2. Keyboard clicks audible - consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality.
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Sufficient
    2. Screencast recording shows initial desktop screen before full screen is switched on.
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the meta-data or the visual presentation).
    2. The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:36, 4 January 2017 (UTC)