Great chapter so far., interesting topic. I will be interested to see how you bring it all together. I have been through your chapter and made some amendments for spelling and grammar. I also noticed some of your intext references need to be tidied up. I think including an outline of what you intend to cover at the start of the chapter might help to clarify what the chapter will cover. I hope this helps. Goof luck with rest of it.
U985072 ( discuss • contribs) 21:52, 29 October 2016 (UTC)
Chapter review and feedback
Overall [ edit ]
Overall, this is a basic, sufficient chapter.
For more feedback see
these copyedits and the comments below. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements.
The chapter is well under the maximum word count.
Basic but sufficient.
The example might work better if the reader is the athlete/performer rather than a viewer?
This chapter has an over-reliance on dictionary definitions; preferably consult and cite peer-reviewed psychological literature.
Full citation not provided for Karl-Ernst Buhler quote.
Could be improved by outlining the major theories/research. Body
The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.
Examples or case studies or tips for experiencing euphoria could be helpful.
A well-selected range of causes of euphoria are considered.
Causes of euphoria are well integrated with discussion of research, with a strong emphasis on neurological pathways, particularly the dopamine-reward circuit. Conclusion
Weak; offer a succint summary and emphasise take-away messages that relate to the book theme.
Reasonable coverage of relevant research, but the studies and their practical implications could be described in more detail.
Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the
tags) When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
Consider possibly reporting on meta-analytic findings.
The chapter addresses the topic and book theme but lacks practical take-home messages.
The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where
clarification templates such as , , , and may have been added to the page). Some
clarification templates have been added to the page. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter. Structure and headings
Each section should start with at least one introductory paragraph before branching into sub-sections. Layout
Some images are used.
Tables and Figures should be referred to in the main text. Integration with other chapters
Basic integration with other chapters is evident. Learning features
Interwiki links (to relevant Wikipedia articles) to make the text more interactive. Quiz questions are used in a basic way to encourage reader engagement. Spelling
Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
Spelling could be improved - see the tags. Grammar and proofreading
The grammar of some sentences needs to be improved for the written expression to be of professional standard (e.g., see the tags). APA style
Direct quotes need page numbers. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
Check and correct the use of
APA style for direct quotes. The reference list is not in full APA style.
Jtneill - 02:55, 4 January 2017 (UTC)
Talk - c
Overall [ edit ]
Overall, this is a basic, sufficient presentation.
Add a Title slide.
Includes focus questions and an example. Selection and organisation
Probably too much content is presented about the dopamine reward pathway - be more selective - e.g., work backwards from 3 take-home messages to work out what content needs to be presented - and then focus on only that which is essential to conveying these messages. In this way, more could be said about other theoretical perspectives about euphoria and/or research.
Theory rich; research poor.
Doesn't clearly address a self-help theme.
Somewhat addresses a self-help theme.
Addresses a self-help theme.
Include citations. Conclusion
Somewhat too brief/general - drill down to some practical, take-away messages.
Audio narration is reasonably well past, but somewhat it is somewhat difficult to understand the pronunciation - consider slowing down and pronouncing some words more clearly.
Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.  Visuals
Basic - approximately half a dozen text-based slides with some images.
Overall, basic production.
Rename the title so that it includes the title (and matches the book chapter).
Add a link to the book chapter. Audio recording quality
Keyboard clicks audible - consider using an external microphone to improve audio recording quality. Image/video recording quality
Screencast recording shows initial desktop screen before full screen is switched on. Licensing
A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the meta-data or the visual presentation).
The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.
Jtneill - 03:36, 4 January 2017 (UTC)
Talk - c