Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Body shame

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Comments[edit source]

I had a look for some images for your chapter and came up with this from wiki commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Muffin_top.jpg is a picture of a woman with "muffin top" https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Anatomical_chart_showing_male-_female_proportions._Wellcome_M0000425.jpg anatomical chart showing male/female proportions. Hopefully this is helpful. Good luck! --U113403 (discusscontribs) 14:07, 19 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki links[edit source]

This chapter could be improved by linking the first mention of key words to corresponding Wikipedia articles e.g., anxiety. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:07, 23 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Your chapter looks amazing! Well done!--U113403 (discusscontribs) 14:24, 23 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid, well-balanced chapter.
  2. The chapter could be improved by building on a stronger understanding of shame as an emotion.
  3. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theoretical understanding of the topic could be improved by briefly describing shame as an emotion (and linking to further information), and then considering how and why shame can be focused on one's body.
  2. The Overview establishes the importance of the topic.
  3. The Conclusion offers a succint summary and emphasises solutions.
  4. Addition of case studies or additional examples could be helpful.

Research[edit source]

  1. Research is well covered.
  2. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method.
  3. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Avoid colloquialisms e.g., "shockingly".
  2. This chapter could be improved by linking to other related chapters.
  3. Layout
    1. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
    2. The chapter is well-structured.
    1. Tables and/or Figures are used effectively.
    2. (Excessive use of) coloured boxes was removed so as to aid accessibility/readability; strive for simple layout (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles)
    3. Reduce (excessive) use of coloured boxes was removed so as to aid accessibility/readability; strive for simple layout (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles)
    4. Some images are used, but the chapter could be improved by adding more images.
    5. There is minimal use of images or tables.
    6. No images or tables were used.
    7. Figure captions should be more explanatory.
    8. Add wiki bullet points (some items are pasted from a word processor without applying the wiki bullet points).
  1. Learning features
    1. Add more Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  2. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  3. APA style
    1. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for paginated journals.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:26, 11 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a very well prepared and executed presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Overview
    1. Sets up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
    2. Tell the listener what they will find out about if they watch this presentation.
  2. Selection and organisation
    1. Has a wonderful narrative structure that fits with the project self-improvement theme.
    2. Theory was well covered.
    3. Research was well covered.
    4. Citations and references are included.
  3. Conclusion
    1. Take-home messages / key points are well summarised.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio
    1. Audio is clear, well-paced, and beautifully narrated.
  2. Visuals
    1. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
    2. The combination of images and text is effective.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Overall, excellent production.
  2. Meta-data
    1. Rename the title so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).
    2. Add a link to the book chapter.
    3. Link to chapter provided in the Description. Make the link in the presentation more obvious - check that think, it seemed to be broken when I clicked on it.
    4. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or transcript).
  3. Audio recording quality
    1. Excellent
  4. Image/video recording quality
    1. Effective use of simple tools.
  5. Licensing
    1. A copyright license for the presentation is correctly shown in at least one location. Creative Commons.
    2. The copyright licenses and sources of the images used are not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:48, 22 November 2016 (UTC)[reply]