Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2016/Amygdala in sport

Formatting

Hi there,

I hope you dont mind, but I've added an APA hanging indent template to your references list.

cheers,--Muzz2016 (discuss • contribs) 01:48, 6 October 2016 (UTC)

Audrey O'Mara (discuss • contribs) 03:17, 19 October 2016 (UTC) I know you may still be working on your page but I have gone through and made some minor edits and corrections to grammar and spelling (I hope you don’t mind).
Also to note:

• Under the heading 'Positive hijack' you have left off the year (APA) after your first mention of the author.
• Under ‘Amygdala hijack’ first paragraph – There is a list of information around where the amygdala projects information to, this information might be more accessible presented in a table or using dot-points.

- I was wondering if it may be better to move your "Social Contributions" to your user page rather than have it on your book chapter page? Just a suggestion. You book chapter will look better in my opinion. --Sophia sk16 (discuss • contribs) 05:18, 23 October 2016 (UTC)

Headings Amygdala Hijack

Hello,

I have moved your Amygdala Hijack & Positive Hijack under the Amygdala Hijack in Sport section. I have also changed Prevention into a Main heading rather than a sub heading.

Hope this helps/is useful!

Thanks, Zoe --U3112339 (discuss • contribs) 02:04, 16 October 2016 (UTC)u3112339

Structure

Avoid having a single sub-section within a section; either add another sub-section or merge the content into the higher level section. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:23, 21 October 2016 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation. Structure and content Overview Could be improved by describing AH with a dramatic, engaging example Explain the "problem"/challenge Selection and organisation Probably start first by describing the AH (this doesn't happen until around the 1 min mark a), then explain some theory and evidence about its role in emotion and implications for sport. Probably covers too much content overall - be more selective and do a smaller amount of information really well Well structured. Theory was well covered. Research was less well covered. Include citations about evidence for claims. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples. No citations? Conclusion Reasonable, but could remind the viewer what an AH is and emphasise the take-home messages Communication Audio Audio is reasonably well-paced, but could benefit from presenting less content, more slowly Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.[1] Image/Video Visuals are far too text dense Present less text in larger font Use images to more effectively convey some info e.g., a diagram to show location of amygdala Production quality Overall, very basic production. Meta-data Well titled A link to the book chapter is not provided. Description provides a useful summary. Audio recording quality Volume good. Distortion poor. Image/video recording quality Effective use of simple tools. Licensing A copyright license for the presentation is shown. Standard YouTube License.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:09, 20 November 2016 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a strong chapter which incorporates a balanced, critical review of relevant theory and research and makes effective use of the wiki environment. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Feel free to make ongoing changes to the chapter if you wish to address any of these comments or make other improvements. Theory Excellent Overview. The famous examples are great, but move them into the Overview - this will help to engage the reader and provide concrete examples which can then be referred back to when theory and research are discussed. Using at least one of these examples towards the beginning of the multimedia presentation would also be helpful. The concept is well explained in understandable terms. The Conclusion offers a succint summary and emphasises solutions. Research Relevant research is well covered. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the method. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Written expression Written expression Well written. The chapter successfully addresses the topic and book theme. Minor: For academic writing in psychology, such as this book chapter, write in third person rather than first (e.g., avoid "I', "we", "our") or second (e.g., "you", "your" etc.) person perspective. Structure and headings Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections. Well structured. Layout There is basic use of images or tables. Integration with other chapters Good integration with other chapters is evident. Learning features Some use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles - more could be added. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement. Grammar and proofreading Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals'). APA style Use APA style for table and figure captions. Direct quotes need page numbers. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations. Check and correct APA style for citations of sources with six or more authors. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:47, 20 November 2016 (UTC)