Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Stolen Generations and emotion

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Comments[edit source]

Hi! I did a minor edit by changing the format of your title - Hope that was OK! Also, your topic sounds really interesting, can't wait to read the final product. --U3082322 (discusscontribs) 22:08, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, topic looks good so far! One suggestion I have is that you could use 'Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples' and 'Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander' instead of Aboriginals/Aboriginal respectively. It recognizes Torres Strait Islander people too, which is important! Even if you choose not to use that the whole way through, I think it would be good at the beginning as a minimum (then clarify that you will be referring to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as 'Aboriginal' for the remainder of the chapter). That's what a lot of academic literature seems to do, and is what my Indigenous Studies teachers have requested in the past. Hope that helps! U3036889 (discusscontribs) 01:30, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Another thing! I found this interesting TED Talk on how child neglect and abuse can effect brain development, and physical health later in life. It's not Indigenous specific, but it's easily generalized to your topic. Might be a good external link? U3036889 (discusscontribs) 01:58, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi! This is a very interesting topic! I've noticed that you do not have any theories listed in your table of contents, and are instead exploring the emotions experienced by the Stolen Generation and other cultural factors. It would be highly beneficial for you to include at least 2 theories in your chapter (theory = 30% of your marks). Some theories you could include would be those used for adoptees and trauma survivors, and how these theories help those of the stolen generation to deal with their past. Best of luck! --U3081677 (discusscontribs) 04:05, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, I thought you might be interested in adding some information of transgenerational trauma in your book chapter. It is when trauma is transferred through generation after generation. There is a lot of research on this topic in regards to the effect that Aboriginal history has on Aboriginal people today, even though they did not personally live through those times. U3100230 (discusscontribs) 01:17, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:21, 1 December 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter which would benefit from improvements in the quality of written expression.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theory is well explained.
  2. Addition of more case studies could be helpful.

Research[edit source]

  1. Research is well explained, although more information could be provided about key studies.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression could be improved.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  4. Spelling
    1. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  5. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of many sentences needs to be improved for the written expression to be of professional standard (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  6. APA style
    1. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:21, 1 December 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. The submitted link ( is not publicly viewable.

Structure and content[edit source]

Communication[edit source]

Production quality[edit source]

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:45, 3 December 2015 (UTC)