Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Sex crime victim emotion

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Comments[edit source]

Hi there,

I just had a read of your book chapter. I think your structure is quite good. I know that you are still in the draft stage but I look forward to seeing some images and other content being added! Also I may not be correct, but I think we are expected to use APA in text referencing not endnotes. I have starred your chapter and will look out for more content to be added. All the best. --U3096823 (discusscontribs) 00:49, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey! Nice start to your chapter, can't wait to see the finished product. Like the person above said, I'm pretty sure we have to use APA referencing, so just keep that in mind :) I like the different types of sex crimes you listed and the emotions and physical effects. Maybe add some of those into a table instead of just listing each one? It might add some colour to your page. I was wondering if you were going to go into more detail about the different sex crimes? Even if it's just one sentence about each one, that would be good to explain each one. Keep up the good work. --Bt1718 (discusscontribs) 12:43, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:11, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic chapter which could be improved, in particular, by a more depth review of research and proofreading. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. General emotion theories were described and applied in a basic manner to the topic.
  2. Over-reliance on secondary rather than primary sources (e.g., Reeve (2015), free dictionary).

Research[edit source]

  1. There is surprisingly little review of research about short- and longer-term emotional impacts of sex crime for victims.
  2. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  3. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
    2. Some of the bullet-points should be rewritten into full paragraph format.
    3. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned)
  2. Layout
    1. Figure captions should be more explanatory.
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links could be added (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
    3. There is minimal use of images or tables.
    4. No images or tables were used.
  4. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences needs to be improved for the written expression to be of professional standard (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals')
  5. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Add APA style captions to tables and figures.
    3. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    4. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    5. For the first citation of a source with three or more authors, include a comma before the "and" or "&"
    6. When there are three or more authors, subsequent citations should use et al. e.g., Smith, Bush and Western (2001) and then in the next paragraph cite Smith et al. (2001).
    7. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:11, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Coverage of sex crime emotion is very basic.
  2. Include citations about evidence for claims.
  3. The conclusion states that emotions are short-lived, but the presentation emphasises PTSD - explain this distinction more clearly.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Text on slides is small - increase font size (use the whole slide space).
  2. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Audio is very quiet (low volume) - review microphone set up.
  2. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, license details, link back to chapter).
  3. Use Australian spelling (e.g., behavior -> behaviour)
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (e.g., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  5. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:45, 25 November 2015 (UTC)