Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Internet addiction motivation

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Feedback[edit]

Hey there :) chapter is looking great! Found a stats site that can help you and some videos aswell - http://brandongaille.com/23-amazing-internet-consumption-statistics/, good luck! User:u3097062 22 Oct 2015

Hi Donna, i think its gotten much better since I last reviewed. Colourful and I like the new section. Keep up the good work Cheers U116040 - Sat 10 October 2015

Hi Donna,

I think it looks really good and quite comprehensive except that you don't seem to mention what motivates internet addiction. You talk about what it is, the different types and theories which is great. Even the assessment and treatment which I bet was hard to find info on so well done. But I think it would benefit from a section about the motivation behind the disorder.

Hope this helps, keep up the good work.

Kind regards

Krystal (u116040) http://learnonline.canberra.edu.au/mod/forum/discuss.php?d=365885 Re: Feedback for book chapter draft Friday, 2 October 2015, 5:19 PM

Italic text

Hi,

I have read your chapter and it is really started to take shape. There is a lot of progress, I am impressed!

Some suggestions for improvement which might help follow, they are just my opinion so take from them what you like or ignore completely if you want.

Theories - I have read the theory part of your page and at this stage I am not sure I quite understand how the theories and motivation interact exactly. Perhaps it would help to explain a little bit more about the concepts behind the theory? I don't understand what Cognitive Behaviour Theory is as a reader so I might need a simple explanation. Ie who invented it, how it is used etc. Same with the other theories you rely on.

Linking - It might be easier for the reader if you systematically introduce the link between the motives for internet addiction and the theories a little more clearly - It seems to feel a little disjointed at that point. Perhaps an introductory paragraph saying something like 'there are several theories for the motivation towards addiction which have been extended to internet addiction by XXx and XXX. For example xx theory'etc.

Referencing - I notice you sometimes make strong statements with out referencing such as "It has been found that the motivations behind the desire to play these games include achievement, mechanics, socializing, teamwork discovery, role-playing and escapism." and 'Limitations of this theory are that it is too focused on the individual and does not account for social reasons. Moreover, cognitions are difficult to measure quanitatively.' i think that kind of statement needs to be referenced.

Ordering - I think it would be good to bring the 'issues' bit of your chapter a bit higher up next to the Types of addiction section. That way we get a good understanding of why internet addiction is such a problem.

I hope these suggestions are helpful?

U943390 (discusscontribs) 09:36, 6 October 2015 (UTC)

Hello,

I think your outline looks good! I feel that your going to have alot of information on this topic. I like that youre going to write about the different types of internet addiction such as cyber-relationships. The quiz torwards the end is a good addition to your wiki page because alot of people can test their knowledge on the topic after they read your information! Good job! -Minela Seferagic Uu3148421 (discusscontribs)




Hi! I know there's nothing to your book chapter at the moment, except for titles/subtitles, but just wanted to comment and say that I think it looks really good so far. You've said that you're going to define what internet addiction is and then go into some examples, which is cool because it gives us a perspective about what sorts of internet addictions there are, especially as most of us just think 'internet addiction' is just one category that doesn't include different types of addictions. You're covering a lot of theories which will give you some in depth information that relates back to motivation, and I like that you're covering the issues regarding the addictions. Nice that you added a quiz too! Not sure if you were going to add this in when you find information, but it'd be good (if it's possible) to have in the issues section a part about how it directly affects an individual, both mentally and physically. Other than that, looks informative and interesting to learn more about. --Bt1718 (discusscontribs) 10:11, 22 September 2015 (UTC)


Hi,

The headings and subheadings look well organised and thought through. I like that you start from explaining what the issue is and looking at number of different related social issues rather than focusing on one.

The topic is very closely linked with today's society and problems that teens and young adults are experiencing. You can also look at the perspective of all the gamers that spend most of they time in front of computer playing games on internet portals.

Iga.leszczynska (discusscontribs)Iga.leszczynskaIga.leszczynska (discusscontribs)

Looks great - maybe under issues include a subheading on how to deal with internet addictions cheers Leonie U3040525 (discusscontribs) 00:14, 10 September 2015 (UTC)u3040525


Hey, This topic is really interesting and the structure of your chapter flows really well! You may want to include some extra ideas under the heading listed. I think it would be interesting to look at current interventions being used and who administers them. Another interesting aspect of this topic is the DSM diagnosis, I think currently it is included in a 'future research needed' heading in the DSM so individuals are not able to receive a DSM diagnosis, here is one article on this http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719452/ but there are many others showing different sides of the debate. The physiological aspects of internet addiction may also be relevant and there is again debate about this topic among researchers. I hope this is useful even if you do not have the world count to include these aspects they may help in understanding the topic as a whole. --U3083687 (discusscontribs) 13:41, 18 September 2015 (UTC)

Hi,

wow lots of information! well done! I like the constant use of pictures to break up the large chunks of text. You should definitely put in some links to other pages from your writing, for example in your first sentence you could link internet and also internet addiction disorder to its own Wikipedia page, this will just give the reader an opportunity to expand their knowledge base before continuing to read your chapter. Overall good cover of content, keen to see the finished quiz! --U3096981 (discusscontribs) 00:15, 2 October 2015 (UTC)

Changes made[edit]

Please note any changes you have made here :)

I modified your photo captions to conform to APA 6th ed. U3083676 (discusscontribs) 01:59, 11 October 2015 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a very good chapter which could be improved by addressing the comments that follow.
  2. Also see these copyedits.

Theory[edit]

  1. Theory is well covered, but could be more closely integrated with reviewing related research studies.
  2. Capitalise the first letters of the names of theories.
  3. The examples were helpful.

Research[edit]

  1. Research
  2. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. Some indication in the Overview of other section about the prevalence of internet addiction would be useful.
  4. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  5. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Some sentences are overly long.
    3. The strategies to deal ID are helpful to the target audience.
    4. Ideally, add a gutsier conclusion which summarises the key points and take-home messages.
  2. Layout
    1. Reduce (excessive) use of coloured boxes was removed so as to aid accessibility/readability; strive for simple layout (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles)
    2. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
    3. Several useful images were included.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    2. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added - these only need to be added on first mention of a keyword; use plain text for the keyword subsequently.
    3. The chapter provides an excellent range of relevant links to other Wikiversity pages.
    4. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
    5. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
    6. There is minimal use of images or tables.
    7. No images or tables were used.
  4. Grammar and proofreading
    1. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  5. APA style
    1. Check APA style for secondary citations.
    2. Check and correct the use of "&" vs. "and" (Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:04, 23 November 2015 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is a solid presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Two useful theories are presented - perhaps consider adding some examples to illustrate.
  2. No coverage of research?
  3. Include citations.
  4. Useful take-home messages.

Communication[edit]

  1. Audio is clear and well-paced, but music is unnecessary and distracting.
  2. Content is broken up effectively into bite-sized pieces.
  3. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
  4. Voice communication is clear.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Include motivation in title (as per book chapter).
  2. Switch music off (distracting) - could be used for beginning and end only.
  3. Rename the title so that it matches the book chapter and is more readily distinguishable from other similar named videos on youtube.
  4. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images.
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (e.g., in the description or in the presentation slides).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:36, 26 November 2015 (UTC)