Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Illegitimate children and emotion

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Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback
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Hi there,

Your topic seems very interesting. I have actually found two resources that may help you along with the assignment.

Good luck! --U3096823 (discusscontribs) 22:27, 14 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Hi mate, your topic and the examples you have used are quite unique. The use of a well-known show like game of thrones is in my opinion a double edged sword. One, because it allows for an easy and relatable assessment of the point you are trying to make (especially if the reader has seen the show), but on the other hand, it is a little colloquial for an academic paper even for the lay person. Quoting a line from a TV show for example isn't exactly academic language. Just my personal view on it that's all. Obviously there is a bit of filling in to do. The theories you have chosen are good one's (once you write about them) for your topic, as they fit nicely. Perhaps under the title 'psychological effects' you could also put 'behavioural and psychological effects', because delinquency for example weighs heavily on the behavioural side of things. Maybe even split the structure a little more in order to accommodate this. Apart from that, it looks like a solid topic and structure. --David M&E7124 (discusscontribs) 1503, 18 October 2015 (UTC)


Hi, I was wondering if you found anything to do with illegitimate siblings? If they are two illegitimate siblings do they cope better emotionally? Do they have each other for support? This might be an interesting small point to add somewhere along the line. Perhaps even though their parents are not married they may not feel the same way and behave the same way as an only child, because their parents have stayed together through two children. I don't actually know the correct answer, just a thought I had. But so far I think this chapter is a really interesting and unique topic. U3100230 (discusscontribs) 00:58, 20 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Hey, I like the examples from modern TV shows that will draw in your audience at the start of the chapter. The fun facts at the end about famous illegitimate children is also really interesting. If you want to engage the readers a bit more, you could maybe put a quiz in and ask them who they think are illegitimate children before giving the answers. Your layout looks really good so far, i just got a little confused in the area on theories, maybe you could separate the boxes so it is a bit clearer.

Comments/Feedback

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Hey, i love you case study at the start based on a game of thrones character - really creative involving such a story. Do you need to reference "Other terms that are often used to describe an illegitimate child are love child, bastard, or non-marital child." ? Maybe include a bit more information in the 'behavioural and psychological effect', describe more studies or research that have found these results? I like how you brought the case of Jon Snow back in later in the chapter, linking it back. Also the 'fun facts' at the end is great :) U3097090 (discusscontribs) 08:49, 23 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Resources

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Hi there, you have some really good information, it flows well, one thing I would add (and obviously your not finished and will probably add them anyways) is some graphs or tables! I found some good resources you could use:

This website brings in race- mainly looking into America though, could at least give you an idea of how to go about putting statistics and graphs on to your page The Black illegitimacy argument This website could help with your facts area- some very interesting statistics that were only published last year 27 Enticing Illegitimate Children Statistics This does not have graphs or anything on it, it just draws on different aspects of illegitimacy- I found it really interesting, definitely worth having a look Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing and Paternal Absence: Trends and Social Effects

Good luck, your doing great! --U3098499 (discusscontribs) 13:32, 21 October 2015 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:37, 21 October 2015 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter which could be improved by reducing the length (it is 5055 words) and developing greater integration between theory and research (they are treated somewhat separately). This chapter is a wonderful all around demonstration of a successful chapter. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.
  1. The the opening example of Jon Snow is excellent.
  2. The way the example is interwoven throughout is very impressive.
  3. Ideally, the review of theory/research could be more integrated.
  1. Research
  2. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed
  3. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  4. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. The Overview is excellent.
  2. The quality of written expression is excellent.
  3. The use of images is excellent.
  4. Layout
    1. The chapter is well-structured and presented.
  5. Learning features
    1. The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  6. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise)
  7. APA style
    1. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:25, 22 November 2015 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonably effective presentation, but the poor audio quality makes it difficult to listen to.
  1. Well structured.
  2. Theory and research is well covered.
  3. Some slides could be improved by including citations.
  4. Visuals and animations are effective.
  1. Audio is well-paced.
  2. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
  3. The combination of images and text is effective.
  1. Audio is difficult to listen to - sounds tinny/echoey/distorted - review microphone set up.
  2. Provide a more accurate title than "Motivation and Emotion 2015".
  3. Description is minimal but sufficient.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated in the description or in the presentation slides).
  5. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:11, 25 November 2015 (UTC)Reply