Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Extreme emotions as motivation

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Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:35, 8 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hey! Your layout looks good! A suggustion would be to look over how you cited in-txt citations. Throughout some of the book chapter, its cited correctly but in some sections (such at the Approach and Avoidance Motivation section) youve put the full stop after the sentence and then you put the citation. Youre suppose to put the citation before the full stop! Otherwise everything looks great :) Uu3148421 (discusscontribs) 04:26, 19 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Wow - I am very impressed with your layout! just are the dot point meant to have a dash as well? It looks incredible! U3097561 (contribs) 13:26, 15 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hey :) Your book chapter is coming along well. The content you have written so far is thorough and informative. A couple things I would suggest is to consider including a descriptive example of each extreme emotion to further highlight your own understanding of the topic as well as provide the readers an opportunity to see if they understand what you have written in a real-life description. Also I like the use of the colour boxes, but maybe do a different colour to distinguish the two. There are also quite a lot of theories you have covered, I appreciate that they all relate to the topic however it may be more benficial to focus on one or two theories and give less focus on the history of other theories as it may be confusing. Other than that keep up the good work. User:U3097062 20 Oct 2015

Hey! Interesting layout, I like how you've included a range of different theories, just be careful with your capital letters for them! I notice you speak of James-Lange's theory, maybe just add capitals, so it reads "James-Lange Theory of Emotion"instead. I hope you don't mind me going through and changing the placement of a few full stops! There were a couple of times you had a full stop before your in-text reference, when they should come after and I closed off a bracket that wasn't ended on a reference :) Otherwise, it looks like it's progressing really well and I like how you've played around with different tables and changing where images go and everything, well done! Bt1718 (contribs) 4.13, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey! I really like your chapter it is quite interesting! Great use of the colour scheme it makes everything consistent and flow, and I like your use of photos. Under the theories of emotion and motivation section, I would suggest perhaps changing the heading to tie it in with the name of chapter more or have a few sentences outlining the connection of those theories to the motivational role of extreme emotion, and then going into each theory and describing them. I also think making the subheadings a bit bigger in font size to help establish the different theories more.

I also would suggest only using one quote for fear and one quote for anger as you might get marked down for having too many and you will have more words to use for the other sections.

I’ve noticed a few times your citations come after the sentence ends rather than the citation and then a full stop after the bracket.

I am excited to see the finished product! --U3065920 (discusscontribs) 00:56, 18 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, just have a couple of minor points for you. First, at the beginning and middle of the paper you have dot points that also have a dash for each one, not sure if that's intentional or not (I suppose it is considering it's there twice. For example, • - acute responses to stimuli. We do have to keep somewhat in line with APA so not sure if this is a good idea. Second, you have used quite a lot of quotes. In a normal paper this would be ill-advised but of course this is something different. Not sure if it will be looked upon poorly or not but again just a minor point. But your analysis on emotion and motivation theory was good. Overall, not too bad. --David M&E7124 (discusscontribs) 1304, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey there! Your chapter looks like its coming along well. Few minor suggestions for you - perhaps provide clear example of each extreme emotion which can provide readers an opportunity to assess if they have understood the content so far by applying it to a real life setting. You've provided brief examples such as experiencing fear with sexual assault, perhaps elaborate on this. Seconly I like the use of colour boxes, maybe use a different colour for the two concepts so that a clear distinction can be made. Finally I like that you've highlighted the various theories which relate to the topic, but maybe focus more specifically on one or two theories so that the reader can have a better understanding of the topic. But great work nonetheless :) User:U3097062

Hi Emilykate, Your chapter covers heaps of interesting material about extreme emotion really well. The definitions are clear and comprehensive. The illustrations are very good. Occasionally, when you introduce a big new section like the one on ‘Theories of emotion and motivation’, it might read even better if there were a couple of sentences to lead the reader into the section, before you introduce each major approach. I’ve made a few edits to typos and grammar which I hope helps. You probably need to change the spelling of ‘behavior’ to ‘behaviour’ to be consistent through the chapter. This sentence also looks incomplete: "The resources a person has to deal with change as well as react to the environment" Best of luck, Alex U3092375 (discusscontribs) 00:07, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks everyone for the feedback, I have used some of it and will continue to tweak this as necessary! Thank you!!--Ekclements (discusscontribs) 04:41, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a very good chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theory is well covered.
  2. The decision to focus on Fear and Anger needs better justification (e.g., why not joy?); at least there needs to be some acknowledgement and pointing to the motivational role of extreme emotions other than fear and anger.
  3. The case studies were helpful.

Research[edit source]

  1. Research coverage was less strong than theory coverage.
  2. Many statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  4. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing
    2. (Excessive use of) coloured boxes was removed so as to aid accessibility/readability; strive for simple layout (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles)
    3. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
    4. Figures are used effectively; consider also using Tables.
  3. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise, behavior -> behaviour).
  5. APA style
    1. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for seriated journals.
    2. Add APA style captions to tables and figures.
    3. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:25, 1 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. The structure and content are basic, but sufficient.
  2. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
  3. A Conclusion slide summarising the practical take-home messages / key points could be helpful.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Consider using greater intonation to enhance engagement.
  2. Increase font size and reduce the amount of text to make text easier to read.
  3. Audio volume varies somewhat between slides.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Some slides are very text-heavy, with overly small font (e.g., "Extreme emotions - anger and fear"
  2. Adjust the youtube license to reflect the license in the description.
  3. Rename the presentation title field so that it includes the subtitle (and matches the book chapter).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:13, 2 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]