Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Empathy and emotional well-being

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Comments[edit]

Hey there! I really like your chapter :) all ive changed is the word quiz into a hyperlink where you suggest taking an empathy quiz. just looks a little neater than the web address :) best of luck! U3100310 (discusscontribs) 01:06, 25 October 2015 (UTC)


hiiii, I know youre still not done with your book chapter but i would recommend that you add a bit more color, and pictures to youre page. :) Uu3148421 (discusscontribs) 04:44, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hello, interesting chapter! would comparing empathy to other closely related emotions help solidify the type of emotion your talking about? An emotion such as compassion seems quite close to this and a comparison might help. Also is empathy more common in some people than others? is it a part of personality such as agreeableness? A section on personality types of people with high levels of empathy might help? Look great so far, good luck! 203.158.60.121 (discuss) 09:16, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi, I like your chapter. I have a few suggestions for some minor corrections. your page needs a subtitle. Also at the start of the chapter there needs to be a section called overview. For each heading you have to have at least 2 subheadings so add another subheading to the section 'how does empathy work?' Also change the work bibliography to References as in the end it has to be APA. Here is an internal link for a 2014 book chapter you could include as they did a similar-ish topic its called Empathy development--U3081508 (discusscontribs) 21:50, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi Connor,

Firstly I made some basic grammatical corrections, mainly focusing on spaces between words and formatting paragraphs. In terms of content I look forward to reading more, the content you currently have does make sense. I was thinking... it might be of benefit to add a section of disorders that prevent people from showing empathy? Also maybe talk about how people respond to empathy and the benefits it has on the person. I look forward to reading more on your topic. Cheers, Linda --U3096823 (discusscontribs) 05:43, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey, interesting chapter! It relates well to the emotion topic too. I hope you don't mind that I just added a few commas that were missing with a few in-text references, also just in regards to your references, you just write the doi link as "doi:10.1037//0022-3514.44.1.113", instead of the entire link. That example is taken from your first reference, so you can do that to all of your references if you want to stick by APA referencing :) I like the different headings you have that you're going to go into more detail about! A bit more colour would be cool as well, even if it is just to highlight a table. Good luck! --Bt1718 (discusscontribs) 5:32, 17 October 2015 (UTC)


Hi mate, I havn't edited anything but have a couple of suggestions. First, try to avoid run on sentences. For instance - "While operational definitions differ between researchers, it is agreed that empathy involves the ability to feel another persons emotional state and the ability to experience another's perspective and understand why their actions where motivated". You could easily break that up with a coma at the very least. Second, I know it's just a draft and you will probably fill it out more, but if not, the chapter's very short. May need more information across all domains for a more comprehensive chapter. Lastly, again not sure if this is because it's a draft, but you have one and two sentence paragraphs. Obviously this is not in line with APA (as we have to somewhat follow APA still) and it's not really good writing practice in general. Apart from that, not too bad :) --David M&E7124 (discusscontribs) 1324, 18 October 2015 (UTC)

HI, I have noticed a few minor errors in your chapter. Firstly, you have referenced the unit text book a few time so i suggest taking that out and adding a reference from a peer reviewed article. Secondly, add an 's' to the word other under empathy and pro-social behaviour. Finally, maybe you should add a take home message section somewhere. --U3081508 (discusscontribs) 02:35, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey there :) You're chapter is coming along well but I would suggest a few things. Firstly consider adding some colour boxes to your layout to make it easier for the reader to see the different topics that you cover. Secondly, some pictures/figures to demonstrate what your topic is about would also help. Thirdly, I would suggest including an overview of what is well-being, why its significant and the various ways an individual can achieve this. Other than that keep up the good work! User:U3097062 20 Oct 2015

Hey there :) obviously you are still going with your chapter :) but i just took out a sentence that was the exact same as the one above; it was repeated. Good luck with the rest of your chapter (3083783ro (discusscontribs) 07:05, 20 October 2015 (UTC)=u3083783)

Hi, I found your chapter really interesting and I can see there is lots more to come.

  • As you say, the flow of the chapter will be very important. You have lots of valuable insights already. The overall logic looks good.
  • I think it would be good to link the sections even more as you develop your material over the next few days. For example, after each major heading (like ‘How does Empathy work?’ and ‘The Effects of Empathy on Emotional WellBeing’), it will be really helpful to provide the reader with a brief overview of what’s coming next. I notice that under ‘The Effects of Empathy on Emotional WellBeing’ you’ve already flagged that you ‘add a general summary here’. *I’ve made some edits in the texts (for grammar, typos) and hope they are helpful.
  • Your discussion of autism and empathy was interesting. There are some images of children with autism on Wikicommons. I found this one in case you are interested (Autistic teenage girl.jpg)U3092375 (discusscontribs) 01:10, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

Wow! This chapter is spectacularly well put-together. I fixed a typo and a formatting error under Empathy and emotional well-being but other thatn that I was hard-pressed to find anything to change. Great work! MorganPhillips (discusscontribs) 05:20, 25 October 2015 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:35, 22 October 2015 (UTC)

HI, Your chapter is coming along well. However, i would suggest moving the see also section to under the references and adding in an external links section with maybe a ted talk or interesting website. Also under the section how does empathy work, you need to change Lamm et al., (2007) to Lamm et al. (2007)- take out the comma. Lastly, i think it would look good to add another figure or diagram or even another coloured box to break things up a bit. Good luck --U3081508 (discusscontribs) 03:17, 23 October 2015 (UTC)


Feedback[edit]

Hi just read your chapter, great job such an interesting topic. Really well set out I just found a few typos and a few places you could add a reference.

  • Probably best to add a reference in your first paragraph in your overview.
  • You wrote “For this reason is it important to properly define empathy when discussing empathy in any academic literature” this reads a little funny. Maybe change the second “empathy” to “construct”.
  • The paragraph that starts off with “empathy is also divided into high order empathic responses and lower order empathic responses” maybe add a reference at the end of this paragraph as you describe constructs of empathy at the end without a reference.
  • In the blue box “if you wish to test your own level of empathy this quiz from the university of California” may put a comer in-between “empathy” and “this”.
  • Under the “antecedents” paragraph you wrote “now empathy has been define”. Maybe change to “define” to “defined” with an “ed”.
  • Under “empathy and social needs”, “socialize” is spelt with a “z”. Maybe change to an “s”.
  • Under “Mediator of stress”, you wrote “empathy has been found to both be an barrier against personal distress”. Maybe change “an barrier” to “a barrier”. Also under this section in the last paragraph you wrote “surprisingly there was been”. Maybe change to “surprisingly, there has been”. So change was to has and add a comer after surprisingly.
  • Under the “Gender difference” section you wrote “Men, it was found”. Maybe change that to “it was found that for men” or it was found that in men”.
  • Maybe add reference in first paragraph of “borderline personality disorder”.

Good job and good luck  ---u3079526---


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit]

  1. Theory connecting empathy and well-being is well covered in terms of breadth and depth, and is well integrated with research.

Research[edit]

  1. Research is well reviewed and integrated.
  2. Did you consult Maslow (1943)? If not, don't cite it.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression is generally very good.
  2. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
  3. Tables and Figures are used effectively.
  4. The chapter makes some use of interwiki links.
  5. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  6. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
  7. APA style
    1. Check and correct APA style captions to tables and figures.
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    3. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    4. Put reference list in alphabetical order
    5. Check and correct formatting of et al. (needs full-stop)
    6. The APA style for the reference list is very good; remove issue numbers for seriated journals.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:37, 29 November 2015 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Overall, this is an excellent all-round presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

  1. Use the Overview to set up the problem to be solved (the question i.e., the subtitle for the book chapter).
  2. Very well structured around key questions.
  3. Theory and research are well covered.
  4. Include citations about evidence for claims.

Communication[edit]

  1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Varied intonation adds interest and engagement.
  3. Text is relevant to the audio and facilitates understanding.

Production quality[edit]

  1. Overall, very well produced using simple tools.
  2. Description is minimal but sufficient.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:17, 2 December 2015 (UTC)