Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Depression in adolescence

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Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:37, 1 December 2015 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theory, in form of aetiology and risk factors, are well covered.
  2. The topic was on depression, but there are also substantial portions of content about anxiety and schizophrenia. Focus on content that matches the topic.
  3. Addition of case studies or examples could be helpful.

Research[edit source]

  1. Textbooks are over-used as citations; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. When describing important research studies, provide some indication of the nature of the sample and possibly cultural context.
  4. When discussing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. The quality of written expression needs improvement to be of professional standard.
    1. Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan and/or chapter draft could have helped to improve the chapter.
    2. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
    3. Some of the bullet-points should be rewritten into full paragraph format.
  2. Layout
    1. Headings could be more detailed/descriptive.
    2. Add bullet-points for See also and External links.
    3. See earlier comments about heading casing
    4. There is minimal use of images or tables; some images are used, but the chapter could be improved by adding more images.
  3. Learning features
    1. Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive.
    2. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement.
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise; behavior -> behaviour).
    2. Spelling could be improved - see the [spelling?] tags.
  5. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals').
  6. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
    2. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    3. Add APA style captions to tables and figures.
    4. Check and correct the use of "&" vs. "and" (Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets).
    5. Check and correct the APA style for figure captions.
    6. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:37, 1 December 2015 (UTC)Reply[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Basic content, with theory and little research.
  2. Include citations.
  3. Perhaps consider using more illustrative examples.
  4. A Conclusion slide summarising the take-home messages / key points could be helpful.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio volume varies somewhat between slides.
  2. Audio is well-paced.
  3. Present in the third person (i.e., avoid "I", "my", "we" etc.) because the presentation should be about the topic, not the presenter.
  4. Visuals are reasonably clear (but non-serif fonts are easier to read).
  5. Consider incorporating images.
  6. Connect the presentation to the book theme.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. A link to the presentation is not provided from book chapter (a link has now been added).
  2. Fill out the description field (e.g., brief description of presentation, link back to the book chapter, license details, and possibly include references, image attributions, and/or audio transcript).
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  4. No active hyperlink is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:12, 3 December 2015 (UTC)Reply[reply]