Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Cystic fibrosis treatment motivation

Progress looks great so far

Well done. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:23, 2 September 2015 (UTC)

Suggestions for your chapter

Hi, your topic sounds really cool. I found a links to previous book chapters you could possible include or look at. Health behaviours has stuff on motivating health behaviours.

Also dont forget to add some references from the past 10 years in your section on learned helplessness to help keep it current :) --U3081508 (discuss • contribs) 05:12, 28 September 2015 (UTC)

Hello there chapter looks really thorough and interesting. I have notices a few things. Your pictures and labels should be labeled as eg: Figure1. This would also save you words in your self-determination continuum section. Also to indent your references as per APA 6 in edit source mode of reference above your first reference goes (you will have to look at this in edit source to grab code):

the references are between and ends in these brackets a line space below bottom

. They also are not usually in dote point form I thought.

It looks great all the best with the finalisation. David James Stevenson (discuss • contribs) 09:21, 23 October 2015 (UTC)

Some interesting readings?

Hello, I think a couple more subheadings would help your overview section read a bit easier (however its early days so I bet you have that planned already!). I noticed this web sight is already on your references list but thought that I'd share this any ways. It looked very relevant to your topic as it includes treatment from early childhood diagnosis through to teens and as well as in/out patient care. http://www.cysticfibrosis.org.au/cfa/standards-of-care

I also found this article in the Biomedical Science database. The study looks at treatment options as well as quality of life, which I imagine would be have some influence on motivation to seek and continue treatment. http://web.b.ebscohost.com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/ehost/detail/detail?vid=5&sid=8710b45a-bce5-4268-843a-6d780d447d61%40sessionmgr112&hid=102&bdata=#AN=15790407&db=cmedm Hope this is useful, good luck! --U3100696 (discuss • contribs) 10:52, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

Easy to read

Hey there, Really interesting topic, sounds like a really progressive area in adherence to treatment. I really liked the way you broke down the theories and didn't lose track of the question. Maybe read it out loud to yourself, some areas might need a little correction. Also, maybe see if there is some further information on applying motivational factors to patients. :) --U3096856 (discuss • contribs) 05:49, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hi! Really cool topic. Very interesting to read and well laid out. You've explored the various things you can do in wikiversity well! Great theories and links to other pages, really informative. If you need the template for the multimedia link for your page then here it is :)

[... Multimedia presentation (3 min)]

just paste your link where it says .... Might I suggest that you add an extra image/diagram towards the bottom of the chapter as there's a heap of writing that's hard to focus on. Great work! :) --Bt1718 (discuss • contribs) 9:51, 24 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey! Great topic and book chapter. The information is very interesting and well written. The only thing i would suggest is adding some colour/boxes or more images where possible, just to break up the writing. Otherwise, fantastic job! U3048330 (discuss • contribs)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:42, 30 November 2015 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter on a novel topic. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below. Theory What is the prevalence of CF? Abbreviate the general theoretical material and provide references and links to further information. This would allow more space to apply the theories to the specific topic in more detail. Psychological motivational theory is well applied to CF treatment. A case study could be helpful. Research Available research on the topic is well reviewed, with additional application of motivation for other chronic health treatment behaviours. The Reeve (2015) textbook is over-used as a citation; preferably consult and cite primary, peer-reviewed sources. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Written expression Written expression is problematic. Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we") The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page). Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned). Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Layout Avoid sections with only one sub-section. A section should have no sub-sections or at least two sub-sections. One section is very long and could benefit from being split into two or more sections (e.g., "Self-Determination theory – Applied study on Cystic Fibrosis Treatment" could be split into one section per major study) See earlier comments about heading casing sections. Learning features The chapter makes some use of interwiki links to relevant Wikipedia articles, but more could be added (e.g., learned helplessness). The chapter makes excellent use of interwiki links to other book chapters and to relevant Wikipedia articles. Add Interwiki links (e.g., to relevant Wikipedia articles and other Wikiversity book chapters) to make the text more interactive. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added - these only need to be added on first mention of a keyword; use plain text for the keyword subsequently. The chapter provides an excellent range of relevant links to other Wikiversity pages. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement. Quiz questions could be used to encourage reader engagement. Spelling Use Australian spelling (some general examples are hypothesize -> hypothesise, behavior -> behaviour). Grammar and proofreading The grammar of some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Check and correct use of commas (e.g., "For example" -> "For example, ") Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals'). APA style Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)). Add APA style captions to tables and figures. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations. Check and correct the use of "&" vs. "and" (Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets). The reference list is not in full APA style. Remove bullet-points from references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:42, 30 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a well prepared and executed presentation. Structure and content The presentation does an excellent job of covering the whole topic within the time-frame. CF and its treatment is well explained. Each of the elements are SDT could be more clearly explained initially. Research is particularly well covered. Communication Audio is clear and well-paced. Visuals are clear and easy to read. The combination of images and text is effective. Production quality Overall, well produced. The copyright licenses and sources for the images used is not indicated - there may have been copyright violation unless you own the copyright to the images used or these were public domain images. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (i.e., in the description or in the presentation slides). No clickable link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:25, 2 December 2015 (UTC)