Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2015/Alcohol addiction and emotion

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Hello[edit source]

Make sure to do more than 2 sub-headings for each heading. I know James Neil told us to do that in tutorials :)


Bobbie U3096609 (discusscontribs) 01:18, 14 September 2015 (UTC)

Hey there. Your topic looks really interesting. You may consider adding the cultural elements of drinking, especially in a country like Australia where alcohol is abundantly sold at virtually every social event. It may be difficult for those addicted. All the best with your writing, --David James Stevenson (discusscontribs) 07:19, 24 September 2015 (UTC)

Hello I have a definition for you to add Alcohol is defined as 'any compounds in which a hydroxyl group, -OH is attached to a sataurate carbon atom R3COH' (McNaught & Wilkinson, 1997). Addiction is ......

Additional theories you could discuss are alcohol myopia, attention-allocation hypothesis and the Drive theory.

Reference : McNaught, A. & Wilkinson, A. (1997) IUPAC. Compendium of Chemical Terminology, 2nd ed. (the "Gold Book"). Blackwell Scientific Publications, Oxford. doi:10.1351/goldbook.

Goodluck! --U3034876 (discusscontribs) 00:06, 20 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey there!

I found some interesting information that crosses into your selected topic, which is the James Lange theory in association to Alcohol and emotions. Although this article has a number of authors, James Lange looks more into defining binge-drinking quantities through resulting BACS, and the motivations of binge drinkers. It could be worth a look ☺

College binge drinking: what is it? Who does it?

If you look it up on the University of Canberra library page you can get access to it.

--U3098499 (discusscontribs) 00:01, 21 October 2015 (UTC)

Hey! This book chapter is fantastic and really informative. Well done! Don't forget to add hyperlinks where you can, as James suggested that can be the factor that pushes a chapter from a Distinction to a High Distinction. Let me know if you'd like me to go ahead and do some for you! U3048330 (discusscontribs)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a borderline chapter which could be improved, in particular, by providing a more indepth review of key research. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Theory is the strongest aspect of the chapter.
  2. Use primary, peer-reviewed sources. There is an overreliance on secondary sources.
  3. Coverage of emotion and coping theory is very general; make it more specific to the chapter topic.

Research[edit source]

  1. There was a notable lack of review of research.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., see where clarification templates have been added to the page).
    2. Write in third person rather than first person (e.g., "we")
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. Use default heading styles; remove bold etc.
    2. Figure captions should be more explanatory.
    3. Add "See also" section
  3. There was minimal use of additional learning features
  4. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
  5. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences needs to be improved for the written expression to be of professional standard (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals')
  6. APA style
    1. Check and correct the APA style for figure captions.
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    3. Check and correct the APA style formatting of in-text citations.
    4. Check and correct the APA style for how to report numbers (Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)).
    5. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:31, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Book chapter resubmission feedback[edit source]

  1. Additional content was provided - [1], but the relevance of the additional material is dubious (e.g., how does the content about alcohol myopia relate to the topic (alcohol addiction and emotion)?).
  2. Some corrections to grammar and the quality of written expression were made.
  3. Some interwiki links were added.
  4. Some additional detail is added to Figure captions.
  5. Basic review of a couple of research articles is now incorporated.
  6. A Conclusion is added.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:14, 17 December 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is basic presentation.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Title on the first slide needs a question mark.
  2. Binge drinking is not necessarily part of alcohol addiction (addiction can occur without binge drinking). It is one type of problem drinking.
  3. Include citations and references.
  4. Consider including images to help make the presentation more interesting.
  5. Overall, there is overemphasis on alcohol addiction and emotion as separate constructions and underemphasis on the role of emotion in alcohol addiction.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Audio is clear and well-paced.
  2. Visuals are clear and easy to read.
  3. Intonation is excellent.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The title is "Motivation and emotion book chapter..." - use a more unique, meaningful title.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not indicated (e.g., in the description or in the presentation slides).
  3. No link is provided back to the book chapter.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:49, 25 November 2015 (UTC)

Multimedia resubmission feedback[edit source]

  1. The presentation now better focuses on the relationship between emotion and alcohol addiction.
  2. Images are now incorporated, but there is no evidence that permission was provided for the image re-use, so copyright may have been violated.
  3. The Conclusion claims a "strong link" but there is a lack of cited evidence to support this claim.
  4. The website address for the chapter is provided on the last slide; but no clickable link is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:25, 17 December 2015 (UTC) -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:25, 17 December 2015 (UTC)