Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Veganism motivation

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Feedback on content[edit source]

Hi there, Just leaving some feedback on your content so far and it looks like you've got a pretty well rounded table on content :) Im actually also really looking forward to reading this chapter. Ive known a handful of friends that have been vegetarian for many different reasons (environmental, ethics, health etc), and a couple have then went further into being vegan. Good luck with the rest of the chapter! U3084402 (discusscontribs) 04:59, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, In your overview you mention that "Have you ever wondered what motivates people to make this lifestyle choice which is different from what is culturally accepted?" I think this is a great question. I think it would be interesting if you briefly provided evidence of how it is not culturally accepted, for example there is some evidence that people associate eating meat with being more masculine and people associate men eating a vegetarian and vegan diet as less masculine. Here is a link to a great paper discussing the subject Perhaps there is also evidence of the stigma people following a vegan lifestyle face, anecdotally people seem to be quite intimidated when they meet a vegan. It might also be useful for your readers if you quantify what you mean by 'accepted'a lot of people have different definitions of something being accepted, sometimes ranging from it just being legal all the way to fully embracing it and not having any stigma. Great read, thanks. Con Stev 2.09.2018

Hi, it seems that you layout editing is pretty well, but the content is still in progress. I made some small changes to obvious typing errors. You will probably need to reread and revise your writing a bit. The flow could be improved in quite a few areas.

In your quote of the vegan society, it ends like this: "as well as products like leather and any tested on animals"? Is this word for word quote? This structure appeared somewhere else in the writing too. Have a look and see what was happening.--Xlc (discusscontribs) 09:20, 23 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, great topic! I like the point you made about veganism not being a diet but a lifestyle choice. There are a couple of formatting things under the subheading 'From 1806': You have referred to a book, and the title needs to be capitalised, and a place that needs capitals as well. I like that you have made an effort to incorporate an interesting layout - starting with a large picture is very attention-grabbing. Well done! --U3090859 (discusscontribs) 06:37, 25 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hey! I just made a few edits as far as wording in some sentences to make it flow a bit better. I also edited the placement of one of your pictures so it didn't sit right in the middle of a sentence, causing the sentence to randomly start on a new line :) Great work! ZombrexJim (discusscontribs)

Title[edit source]

Hey, in response to your question about putting the heading and picture at the top, if you want them in a separate box

copy the formatting before and after this text in edit mode

For the title

Insert heading: and subheading here

insert that where you would like your title to appear. For the box and heading, if you go into edit on this page then you can copy the formatting and put it onto your actual page.

To insert pictures, you will need to search on wikicommons to find pictures with the right licensing then it is a matter of inserting the file name into the below section, choosing how you want it aligned and putting in a caption.

File:File name goes here.gif
Enter your caption

Hope this all helps if you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask :) --U3080853 (discusscontribs) 09:34, 21 October 2014 (UTC)u3080853[reply]

Referencing[edit source]

Hey, I noticed you were struggling with the formatting of references so I added the hanging indent for you and italics, hope this helps, in future just add your reference before the two bottom brackets and they will automatically be formatted with a hanging indent although you will still have to do the italics yourself :) U3080853 (discusscontribs) 11:54, 21 October 2014 (UTC)u3080853[reply]

Hey, So I was just reading your page which is really good and I cant wait to see the finished product. However I just thought as a suggestion that maybe you should reduce the amount of coloured boxes you have used to contain your main body of text. Obviously its your decision :), but I just thought it maybe looked to busy and it kind of takes away from your content !!! Lucydiamond1008 (discusscontribs) 07:45, 22 October 2014 (UTC)lucydiamond1008[reply]

Theories[edit source]

Hi I noticed you had headings, but so far not information, so I thought I'd help you out - I found this article particularly interesting - Barbara McDonald1 ªOnce You Know Something, You Can’t Not Know I tº An Empirical Look at Becoming Vegan, Which I found through google scholar. Mainly in relation to Mezirow’s transformation, it discusses the motivation behind one becoming vegan, however also mentions criticisms and ideas for future study, which may be helpful to add. Looking forward to seeing how your chapter progresses :) --U3080853 (discusscontribs) 08:39, 22 October 2014 (UTC) theory[reply]

THis chapter is really interesting so, far, i agree with one of the previous suggestions about the coloured boxes while, they look very nice, its can be a little distracting and rather hard to read on certain, colours, but other then that i think your doing really well, for the personal ethics section, im really interested to see what you add, i done a quick search , and lots of interesting information came up you may be willing to use, :) --U3080857 (discusscontribs) 04:14, 23 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

APA style captions for images and tables[edit source]

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:51, 23 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

Hey, I have picked up on a few things and fixed some punctuation throughout. Is your first definition of veganism in the box a direct quote, if so it needs a page number This ‘Dr. William Lambe London, England’ doesn’t make sense, is he from London, maybe explicitly state that. With that section again with direct quotes needing page numbers, also you have photo and quote written there, I’m assuming you were going to put a photo, but just double check. The book name return to nature – should it be in capitals? The participants statement quote and speciesism quote, needs a page number. Table heading needs to be above the table. You’ve written colleration, it that meant to read correlation? In the environment section, if you write as cited in Ruby, 2008 you need to write the author that was stated in that article. Also I noticed you haven’t critically analysed any of your studies, however it is looking good so far, good work. Ash

--U3080853 (discusscontribs) 02:35, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

HELLO, Looking good and I like how you framed the start of the chapter. you may need to check this but im pretty sure that the title heading start with first word with capital and all other words lower case. I think there has been a few moodle questions about this for eg. 'Veganism Motivation' as a title should be 'Veganism motivation'. --Dsalvestro (discusscontribs) 09:17, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Colour boxes[edit source]

Hey! Really interesting topic :) I saw on Moodle earlier today something about colourful boxes not being correct APA format, I'm not 100% sure of this but maybe you want to double check it with APA guidelines just in case :) -- (discuss) 10:26, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback[edit source]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your chapter :) I am a vegetarian with the hope of one day becoming a vegan and for me it was firstly due to animal cruelty and personal ethics but as your chapter explains I have become more aware of such factors including the environment and the use of animal cruelty for harsh testing and cosmetics ect. In saying that I have slowly started adapting new beliefs and lifestyle changes and had not given much thought into the theoretical framework as to why one day it all changed for me. It looks like you have taken on board everyone's comments and made some changes so I cant fault you. Well done and thanks for a great read! :) Chernayy (discusscontribs) 10:03, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:04, 27 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.


Overall[edit source]

Overall, a practical and well structured presentation. Well done!

Structure and content[edit source]

The structure and flow of the presentation are both very good. Theories are well integrated and articulated.

Communication[edit source]

Ideas are communicated clearly through voice and images. The take home massages are a useful inclusion. Speed of the voice-over is too fast throughout most of the presentation.

Production quality[edit source]

Picture quality is good. Quality of the voice over is quite poor, making the presentation feel less professional.

ShaunaB - Talk

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Reduce the emphasis on definitional detail and history of veganism e.g., provide a summary and links to further material.
  2. There is a tendency towards towards justifying veganism rather than exploring the central question.
  3. Feminist perspectives were not fully explained.
  4. There was surprisingly little linkage to the chapter on vegetarianism motivation and discussion about similarities/differences with veganism motivation.

Research[edit source]

  1. Several useful studies are cited and a critical perspective about the lack of literature is provided.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. The Conclusion is excellent.
  2. Layout
    1. Apply standard level 2, 3, etc. default Wikiversity style headings
    2. Use default paragraph styles (remove the colons at the start of paragraphs)
    3. Figures and Tables were used effectively.
    4. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Learning features
    1. The text could become more interactive by including more interwiki links.
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Use Australian spelling e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
    2. Check use of ownership apostrophes e.g., Singers vs. Singer's, vegans vs. vegan's vs. vegans'
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the [grammar?] tags
  5. APA style
    1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    2. Check correct use of et al.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:04, 27 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]