Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Unemployment and motivation

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Structure[edit source]

Hey, this looks like it will be a really interesting chapter! Just looking at the structure of your page, have you considered putting your section on “How does the state of unemployment effect work motivation?’ after your section on theories? That way you could make it into its own story- from unemployment to (hopefully) reemployment. Just an idea! U3053066 (discusscontribs) 12:12, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

reply-theories[edit source]

Thanks for the comment. I have changed the structure around so much that I've confused myself! I think I may cut out some of the headings that I currently have listed though, so will keep your idea in mind. I have done a short outline of each of the theories. Do you think this will be too small amount of info? Or should I expand it? Not sure what to do.. leave it like it is and expand further in other sections, or do all the expansion within the actual theories heading? --U3072703 (discusscontribs) 00:57, 8 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hmm I know what you mean. I've been thinking about your chapter a fair bit, and I have come up with a slightly alternate structure that you could use. Please feel free to use the structure if you want or totally ignore it!
  • Overview
  • Consequences of unemployment e.g. depression, suicide, , lower self esteem etc. I would think there is a fair amount of research in this area.
  • Theories- To link this in with what has been said so far, i'd say something a long the lines of 'psychological theories have been applied to unemployment and they provide insight into why some people suffer more than others from unemployment and why some people put more effort into looking for a job than others'. Then go on to talk about the theories. I think the ones you currently have are great but if I were you I would expand out the theories a little more. You could do some examples or even link to other pages. For example there is a chapter on intrinsic motivation from last year that is really good that you could link to. This article http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1348/014466604X17641/abstract?deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=&userIsAuthenticated=false seems to be pretty good. It goes into a fair description of expectancy value theory and self determination theory and compares them.
  • What the research says- apply the theories to what studies have found. The above article seems to be good for that!
  • Supporting job seeking motivation.
  • Summary
I'm really looking forward to seeing where you go with it! Let me know if there is anything else I can help with :)-U3053066 (discusscontribs) 17:39, 9 October 2014(UTC)

Thank You![edit source]

Thanks so much Kat! The structure has been the thing preventing me getting properly started with my book chapter because I haven't been happy with it. What you've suggested is a massive help - thank you, thank you, thank you! --137.92.97.212 (discuss) 23:10, 13 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Types of Job Search Motivation[edit source]

Hey, I noticed that you had a definition from Knafer (2001) in your overview section. This article http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19450016 builds on the study conducted by Knafer and looks at goal orientation, self-regulation strategies and job seeking intensity as predictors for reemployment outcomes. The link was found on google scholar but it is also available at the UC library for free. Hope you find it useful!U3053066 (discusscontribs) 12:15, 5 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank You![edit source]

Thanks so much for that article, I will definitely look into it :) --U3072703 (discusscontribs) 00:54, 8 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Layout etc.[edit source]

Hi to anyone who comes across my book chapter :) I'm just writing as I know it looks like a mess! However, I'm not very technologically-able, so am planning on writing away and then sorting out the layout at the end. Hope you can still read it! Thanks, --U3072703 (discusscontribs) 01:00, 8 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Graph idea and definition[edit source]

I think your page is shaping up well. I know you're probably going to do this later, but a way to break up your page would be to include a diagram of unemployment rates. As the page is has a worldwide audience, something along the lines of http://www.ncee.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Stat1.png could work. Also, your definition of unemployed is not quite correct: it is someone who is without work AND who is looking for work. So a retired person is not unemployed for example. N8. (discusscontribs) 04:56, 17 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for pointing that out - I actually did have that written down somewhere but must have deleted it. So thank you! I'll be sure to re-add that in :) I'm getting very frustrated with the layout of everything, so have decided to completely finish the actual content and then sort out the layout with graphs, pictures, quizzes etc. Hopefully that will be happening in the next couple of days! --121.223.198.127 (discuss) 00:10, 18 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:54, 20 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks James - will sort that out soon --U3072703 (discusscontribs) 00:36, 21 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Section borders[edit source]

Hi again, James left some feedback on my page where he told me not to use those section borders that you copied off my page- As in the box that says 'introduction' in grey. Bit of a bummer I know because I think it looks nifty but I'm going to remove them on my page. Just thought I'd share with you! U3053066 (discusscontribs) 17:23 22 October 2014 (UTC)

Damn! They do look good! :) Thanks for letting me know.

Internal links[edit source]

Hi Emily, I added some internal links for intrinsic and extrinsic motivation to past book chapters for you. I actually forgot to log in before I did it so in your edit history there will be an edit from an IP address. Don't worry it's just me! I also changed some of your headings around- I moved 'See also' to before your reference section and added a link to a chapter from last year about workplace motivation. I also added an 'external links' heading after the reference section. Past chapters have set out their pages like this :) U3053066 (discusscontribs) 14:07 23, October 2014 (UTC)


Thank You so much! That will definitely save me some time :)

Referencing and figures[edit source]

Hi again, Just letting you know that I made some edits on your page. I italicized 'Figure' under each picture for you according to APA convention. I also fixed up some things on your reference list e.g. italicized journal names, made sure there was no over use of capitals in the article name etc. I also added an internal link to the motivation page in the overview. I would advise adding more internal links if you have time :) Also, in tutorials this week, something was said about writing a 'conclusion' rather than a 'summary' because it is basically concluding your answer to the question the book chapter is trying to answer. Your page has really blossomed over the last few days! Looking great :)--U3053066 (discusscontribs) 15:26 25, October 2014 (UTC)

Thank You[edit source]

Thanks for that! I hadnt quite figured out how to do italics yet, so that has saved me lots of time. Thanks for letting me know about the conclusion rather than summary discussion :) I've really struggled getting to tutorials this semester, so that's a massive help to me. I'm just about to write my 'supporting' section and then do a proof-read and make sure everything is looking okay. Thanks so much for all your time spent on my chapter. Very much appreciated! --U3072703 (discusscontribs) 10:07, 25 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Great Chapter[edit source]

This chapter is great Emily, I find it VERY informative and well structured. I struggled a little in the lengthy sections such as 'what does the ltriture say'. Maybe by adding some wiki links of the key authors to enable readers to get background knowledge on the literature and break up the text? Or simply one more image at this section of the chapter? Also the last sentence of your overview is great in establishing how it can be improved - but maybe another sentence like this? To make sure the theme of the book chapter is carried without this chapter? Theme: ‘How to understand and improve ones life by applying knowledge from motivation and emotion theory and research.’ :):) Hope this helps a little! Great job and yay for final stages! --Jessiek86 (discusscontribs) 22:34, 25 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

reply to Moodle post[edit source]

Hey I saw your Moodle post and then read your chapter page I do see what you mean although I think that maybe you should keep the learned helplessness section in your chapter because if you take it out you may run the risk of not having enough theories, the section on theories in the guidelines was a little ambiguous seeing that it said don't rely on to few but don't use to many.maybe you could reduced your information by going through it to see if you could make some of the information more concise and add some more wikilinks on topics that you can because then you can reduce what you have said about the topic and leave it for the wikilink. I hope this helps and good luck K.kauhanen (discusscontribs) 00:56, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]


I hope that this helps

Word Limit Feedback[edit source]

Hi Emily

Regarding your word limit, don't forget we get +/- 10% - so from what I can see if you can lose 300 words you'll be fine.

The first thing I'd do is look at how you've worded things and see if you can't simplify them. It would be awful to lose a whole theory if it's just a matter of rewording, using bullet points etc instead.

If you can find primary sources it will save you words, so it might be worth locating those (eg Kanfer et al., 2001, as cited in Klehe & van Hooft, 2001 becomes Kanfer et al., 2001.

For example:

Unemployed is the term used for an individual whom is "currently without work, but actively seeking employment"

replace with:

People are considered unemployed if they are "currently without work, but actively seeking employment" (only 4 words less, but it all adds up).

Some sentences may have info that is interesting, but not 100% relevant (when considering your word count!). You can sometimes eliminate info that allows you to merge sentences in a way that reduces your word count. eg

Unemployment is becoming an increasing reality to many individuals with the unemployment rates increasing in Australia in just one season by 11000 people (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2014). It can have detrimental effects on motivation, pushing an individual to search for a job for a number of reasons.

change to something like:

Unemployment, which is increasing in Australia, can have a detrimental effect on motivation, pushing an individuals to search for a job for a number of reasons.

A couple of other suggestions:

change It is well studied and documented that unemployment can... to 'Research shows unemployment can...,.

You could change "Key findings from the Stress and Well-being in Australia survey (Australian Psychological Society, 2013) have shown" to The Stress and Well-Being in Australia Survey showed. Consider taking one of the 'Australia's out of that para.

In the para before Figure 3, the last line may be replaceable with something like 'as seen in Figure 3.

One drastic change you could make would be getting nrid of the Johada's Latent Deprivation Model info. If you're not using it to support or explain your focus question then it may be eating up valuable word count!

With SDT theory: you could move the dot points up to just after the first sentence. It would then read:

In line with SDT I've taken a couple of little joining words out, and fixed up a couple of other little things.

Your page in general looks great, and reads well. You've done a great job!

Good luck with your word cull!!

CFD (discusscontribs) 01:05, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hi there ,

Your overviews provides a very in depth insight into what will be talked about in your chapter. Just a suggestion with the headings such as Work Motivation there only needs to be one capital letter in headings so it should be Work motivation, same with Search work behaviour. I know you have included a lot of theories and are worried about it but I feel it all flows very well and all contributes to the book chapter however i would tend to agree with the above comment in relation to Johads Latent Deprivation model info other then that i is really well written and detailed.Your quiz is great, a very nice interactive touch there. You have also provided a solid amount of resources in the “See also section” which is fantastic. You conclusion also provides a solid summary, well done great page overall!--U3080857 (discusscontribs) 01:44, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

response to moodle post[edit source]

In response to your question on moodle, I don't think you should remove the section on learned helplessness because I think it has a lot of relevance to your topic and works well the way you have currently got it in the chapter. If you need to cut back words I would suggest cutting back the "what does the research say" section - you may be still able to describe the key findings of the research without going in to too much detail of all the details of the experiment. For balance, it would be ideal if there was something in this section about research relating to learned helpless theory and unemployment also. I think it's a really interesting topic and you have explained it very well. Good luck finalising it Cdrake2014 (discusscontribs) 04:47, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

edit[edit source]

Goes into a lot of depth. I have taken out some areas that were repetitive and not needed. U3081461 (discusscontribs) 04:49, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Some suggestions[edit source]

Just had a look at your book chapter. I thought it might be good to perhaps add some text links to Self-Determination Theory, Learned Helplessness Theory and the Expectancy-Value Theory on wiki etc.

I also agree with the above comment that was made in response to your moodle post. I found the topic easy to read and follow. You did a great job!

Linssen (discusscontribs) 08:47, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Reducing word count[edit source]

Hi, I saw your moodle post regarding your word count and that you were a fair bit over. Not sure whether you have fixed this problem but if you were looking at reducing it I could recommend possibly removing the first two sentences/questions in the overview section. Whilst it is a good way to introduce your topic it takes away from the formality of your page and the third senetnce in sounds like it would be a great introductory sentence. Hope this helps :) U3068702 (discusscontribs) 11:34, 26 October 2014 (UTC)u3068702U3068702 (discusscontribs) 11:34, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Response to edit made on empathy and altruism page[edit source]

(Just letting you know, the edit you made on my page is incorrect, I am pretty sure it is not the title of the journal article but the title of the journal itself in italics and the volume number. So for example in the single edit you made (by putting " " on each side of the title, they should be on either side of the journal name: Psychological Inquiry and the volume number 2 - Batson, C. D., Shaw, L.L. (1991). "Evidence for Altruism: Toward a Pluralism of Prosocial Motives". Psychological Inquiry 2 (2): 107–122. doi:10.1207/s15327965pli0202_1. JSTOR 1449242.

Hope I got this infer before you submitted yours, to make sure you didn't do this on your book chapter :):) Thank you for bring the italics thing to my attention though - totally didn't do any yet anyway!

--Jessiek86 (discusscontribs) 11:47, 26 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit source]

A well structured presentation on an interesting topic. Well done.

Structure and content[edit source]

The structure is nicely developed, with a good flow between ideas. Research and theory are both very nicely integrated throughout. Using the case of 'John' to re-enforce theoretical constructs is a great idea. Perhaps this could have been used again at the end of the presentation to support the take-home message?

Communication[edit source]

The voice-over is well paced, with good pauses between sentences and slides. The use of more expression would help to make the presentation more engaging. Figures are used very intelligently throughout. The figure on the 'Consequences of unemployment' is much too small to read.

Production quality[edit source]

Basic production tools are used effectively. The audio quality is adequate, although the volume is slightly too low. There is also some background noise. The quality of visuals is good, apart from some sections where the text is too small. A link to the book chapter is provided. Copyright license information is provided, but is much too small to read.

ShaunaB - Talk


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter.For more feedback, see [these copyedits] and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Three theories are presented, but SDT is emphasised.

Research[edit source]

  1. Several relevant studies are presented.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  4. It could be more effective to integrate the research review into the relevant section about each theory.
  5. The research review is somewhat laboured (i.e., too much detail about each study).

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned)
  2. Layout
    1. Coloured boxes were removed to aid readability; keep the style simple (e.g., as per Wikipedia articles)
    2. Figures were used effectively.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    2. Add an interwiki link to the SDT book chapter
  4. Grammar and proofreading
    1. "that" is missing from several sentences (e.g., "which suggests that an individual experiences..."
  5. APA style
    1. Check/correct APA style for direct quotes.
    2. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    3. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    4. et al -> et al.
    5. The reference list is is very good APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:33, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]