Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Testosterone and emotion

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Comments[edit]

Hey buddy, I was just looking at some of the previous book chapter topics relating to aggression and I came across this https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2013/Testosterone_and_emotion it is a book chapter that was done last year on testosterone and emotion, thought it might be helpful. Just be sure to make your content different to this one as you don't want two chapters on the same topic :) Good luck! U3081383 (discusscontribs) 01:27, 22 October 2014 (UTC)\

Changes[edit]

I have changed a few lines and your headings. Maybe try put in a few more visuals. Very good cover of testosterone and aggression and depression and mood.

U3081461 (discusscontribs) 02:34, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

I hope you don't mind I edited your chapter. I changed a few things mostly just wording of some sentences to reduce word count as I noticed you were a fair bit over the word limit. I've brought you down to 4404 words. I adjusted some (not many as there weren't many) grammar and spelling errors. I would recommend expanding on your conclusion and maybe add in some wiki links (I did one for you). Other than that it was good, well written, very informative and covered the topic in really good detail. You used your references well and I liked your take home messages. Good luck :D #dreamteam U3081383 (discusscontribs) 03:29, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

Hi

I've just changed your first line - you should be under the word limit now and I think it reads a little better.

You'll need to fix up your headings (only caps for first words etc).

I'd suggest changing your Learning objectives to focus questions (you could ditch the title and just roll with the questions, ie 'what is testosterone".

I really like how you've set out The challenge hypothesis. The only thing I'd maybe add is a small conclusion at the end.

You could add some extra pictures - maybe of anger or depression.

You may want to put some hyperlinks in as well (think this is in the marking criteria).

Other than that, your layout is great. You've used colour really well to seperate your topics.

Great job!

Chelsi CFD (discusscontribs) 13:08, 26 October 2014 (UTC)

HI

Sorry, I just thought of one more thing I meant to say - if you're not going to put an external link in you should probably delete the heading.

Chelsi CFD (discusscontribs) 14:59, 26 October 2014 (UTC)


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit]

This is a basic but informative presentation.

Structure and content[edit]

The flow between ideas is logical. Research is integrated throughout. Theory is less of a focus, and this is an area for improvement. A conclusion is provided, but this could have been more concise - try to conclude with the 'take-home messages'.

Communication[edit]

Communication is adequate. The voice-over is nicely paced in areas, and too slow in others. One or two more rehearsals may have been useful. The slides are basic, but clear. Incorporating images and figures could be an area for improvement. This, along with greater expression in the voice-over, would help to make the presentation more engaging.

Production quality[edit]

Basic production tools are used. The audio is 'fuzzy', with quite a low volume. The visual quality is good. A link back to the book chapter is provided. Image source information is provided.

ShaunaB - Talk

Heading casing[edit]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:51, 1 December 2014 (UTC)


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit]

  1. Wow, this is a really interesting chapter. It presents an indepth theoretical and research-based review of the relationship between testosterone and emotion in a readable, applicable style. For more feedback, see my copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit]

  1. Theory is well covered, including a focus on The Challenge Hypothesis.
  2. The focus is one how testosterone may influence emotion; also perhaps consider how emotion influences testosterone (e.g., winning a competition boosts testosterone) and their bidirectionality.

Research[edit]

  1. Extensive research is identified and very well described.
  2. Have The Challenge Hypotheses been tested via research?
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.

Written expression[edit]

  1. Written expression
    1. Excellent opening case study. Maybe also incorporate a female case study?
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. Use Heading Level 2, followed Level 3 etc.
    2. There was limited use of Tables and/or Figures.
    3. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Learning features
    1. The chapter makes some good use of interwiki links; more could be added.
    2. Quiz questions are used effectively to encourage reader engagement.
  4. Grammar and proofreading
    1. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals')
  5. APA style
    1. Put in-text citations in alphabetical order.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    3. Remove issue numbers for seriated journal references.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:51, 1 December 2014 (UTC)