Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Shoplifting motivation
Add topicSuggestions
[edit source]Hey, your page looks great and you have gone into a lot of detail with your topic. I do have a couple of suggestions that you might want to use. You should swap your table of contents and title around it would make the page easier to follow. I also have another tip to neaten up your quiz. Go into the edit section and modify the top line of the quiz syntax so it looks like this < quiz display= simple >, this removes the shuffle option and the other few points that are there. Hope this helps and good luck with the rest of your chapterAGH BMW (discuss • contribs) 03:32, 23 October 2014 (UTC)
Response to moodle
[edit source]Hey, I'm just looking over your book chapter, the first thing I noticed without looking at the content was that it was a bit hard to distinguish the levels of headings so I have changed a couple of the heading levels, you can change it back if you prefer it the other way though :) Looking at the content now, I think you have covered the definition and statistics really well and I think it provides a good introduction to the topic and the practicality of your chapter. You stated on moodle that you were worried about word count, I think there are two possible ways you could go about it (1) you could just write the whole book chapter without worrying about the word count and then cut down the less relevant stuff at the end, or (2) minimise how much information you want to cover (this one will save you time). I noticed in your contents that you have 4 major headings with a number of subheadings under each. Particularly the heading 'motivational factors associated with shoplifting offenders' had 5 sub headings and although I think all of them are relevant I think you will find it difficult to sufficiently discuss each of them, so maybe you could either combine some or only discuss the most influential ones. Overall, excellent start to you chapter, I think you've hit gold with your topic and subject question as it is very relevant to the book chapter theme. I look forward to reading the end product, good luck! :) U3081383 (discuss • contribs) 04:46, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
Hey, I tracked from moodle too. I have not done changed your work yet. Here are some of my thoughts:
1. your beginning sentence: Criminal behaviour is witnessed frequently, however shoplifting seems to be the first offence leading to more serious offences, therefore intervening with the criminal behaviour at this point is critical to ensuring the safety of the community and reducing recidivism. This sentence is not logically sound. Do we witness criminal behaviour frequently? what evidence allows you to say that shoplifting leads to more serious offences? If you mention intervene, will you talk about treatment/ therapy later or do you mean police involvement? Also talking about ensuring community safety by tackling shoplifting, to me, sounds a bit overreacting. You may have grounds to say so. But it would be more cautious not to write so definitively.
2. Will you talk about treatment/ therapy/ programs for shoplifters? Could that be an option?
3. Your statistics part seems to say that shoplifting by young people is very low? So, how does this relate to your first paragraph? If it is not prevalent, what makes shoplifting interesting? psychological factors! As a reader, I would like to see story from the shoplifter's point of view too. What are their voices? How did they start shoplifting and what sustains the behaviour?
4. Since this is a chapter about improving life, I feel that the talks about criminals, juvenile and criminology a bit confronting. There are many factors behind young people's shoplifting. How do we, as a society, as families and friends, keep engaging them rather than label them as shoplifters? How shoplifters themselves find strategies to refrain from doing it again?
These are just some thoughts, not meant to be criticisms. Hope you don't mind:) --Xlc (discuss • contribs) 06:14, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
Incorrect statistic
[edit source]You write: "Krasnovsky and Lane (1998) reported an estimate of 60% of all shoppers have shoplifted at some point in their life, approximately 1 in every 12 shoppers." But the 60% does not equate to 1 in 12. N8. (discuss • contribs) 02:10, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
Suggestions
[edit source]The content in your chapter is very engaging! such an interesting topic - I just had a note for formatting if you wanted to add a caption to your picture you could use the following syntax
U3068859 (discuss • contribs) 07:39, 20 October 2014 (UTC)
Useful links
[edit source]Thought the below links may be of assistance for the content you are writing about:
http://www.shopliftingprevention.org/whatnaspoffers/nrc/psychologicalstudies.htm
http://www.thefttalk.org/Shoplifting%20A%20Literature%20Review.pdf
http://www.lawgazette.com.sg/2008-10/bone.htm
--OzJoey (discuss • contribs) 01:14, 17 October 2014 (UTC)
Hi
I've made a couple of small changes to your page (mostly capitals in titles etc).
Also, from your Moodle post it sounds like you're concerned about your word limit - James suggested I look at everything I write and question how it relates to the focus question. So, for you it would be questioning how it relates to Why do shoplifters steal? With that in mind (and it kills me to say it because I love stats) if you're short on words you could possibly consider deleting the paragraph Statistics on juvenile offending.
I also wonder if shoplifting is perceived to be a juvenile behaviour, but isn't exhibited across a range of ages and socio-economic brackets (ie, Winona Ryder- mature age, rich, successful, yet still caught shoplifting). Just something to consider.
You've done really well so far, it's an interesting read and I look forward to seeing the final version!
Chelsi CFD (discuss • contribs) 06:58, 18 October 2014 (UTC)
Suggestions for reducing word limit
[edit source]Hi Ashlee
Your chapter is looking great, but you indicated in your Moodle post that you're above your word limit. I've had a brief look and maybe you could do some of the following:
Given you've got a Focus Questions section you could take out the questions you pose in the overview and just head straight into info.
Look really objectively at your wording of sentences, often you can alter them slightly to reduce the words, for example, "A review of statistics from the Australian Institute of Criminology (AIC) (Richards, 2009) reveal that although shoplifting may be committed frequently by young people, the number of convictions for such an offence are low in Australia". You could say 'The Australian Institute of Criminology (AIC) report that although shoplifting may be committed frequently by young people there is a low conviction rate (Richards, 2009)". Also In a literature review undertaken by Krasnovsky and Lane (1998) could be stated 'Krasnovsky and Lane found...'. Also, You are the father of Sam (13 years old) could be - You are 13 year old Sam's father.
Have a really thorough look at your citations. Burton states with three authors and above you can abbreviate to et al. (eg Cottle, Lee & Helibrun - first time you use in full, then you abbreviate to Cottle et al. ) - sometimes it will only save you a word, but they all count (and it's also good APA form!).
Anywhere you've used a secondary source (eg as cited by Krasnovsy & Lane, 1998) see if you can locate the original source. It's good form to use a primary source, and it also cuts your word count.
In the paragraph 'What is shoplifting' you might be able to put your categories into a table with headings like 'Type' 'Frequency', 'motivation' and 'emotional response'. Somes this can cut your word count as you can say things like 'ritualistic behaviour' instead of 'stole goods as part of a ritual over periods of time'. (this may or may not work, but it might be worth looking at).
You've got heaps of really thought provoking questions, but I wonder if you could also reduce those. Only keep the ones that are really pertinent, and maybe only use 1 or 2.
Also, on a side note - I wonder if what is shoplifting? would be better as the first paragraph. That way you've defined it before you go on to discuss it. Your first paragraph would also then blend nicely with 'How often do people shoplift?'.
Also, you might want to reference the Winona Ryder comment (here is a linkhttp://www.theage.com.au/articles/2002/11/07/1036308408379.html, and you could also link to Wikipedia - I'm sure it would be mentioned under her profile!)
Overall it's a pretty good read, its a shame you have to cut it down!
ChelsiCFD (discuss • contribs) 03:54, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
Hi Ashlee, I read your chapter before and it looks a lot better now. As to how to reduce word count, in "what motivates people to steal" part, you talked about biological factors, psychological and social factors. You could mention all these factors in understanding the behaviour, but do they motivate people to steal? Can we say one's gender and age motivate people to steal? Can depression motivate people to steal? My understanding is that probably you don't brand this part as motivation, just factors that help us understand and tackle the behaviour. With shoplifting motivation, you actually discussed in the theory part: to fit in the group (identity), social learning (again, related to peer influence and identity: want to differentiate from adult lifestyle by following friends; economic reasons (poor, but want to have things other people have) (sorry, I am making up now), to deviate from adult norms (teenagers want to rebel adult values), for physical experience (enjoying the rush of doing something exciting and secretive). distill a few motivations from your theory part and highlight them since motivation is your focus.
so back to the word count: state clearly the motivations to steal while you discuss the theories, and cite some studies to support the motivations you propose. Cut a lot from the detailed discussion of biological factors, psychological factors, and social factors. They are not motivation. --Xlc (discuss • contribs) 06:37, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
Sam sections
[edit source]I suggest not giving these standard headings, but instead you can just make them bold or larger font or whatever to emphasise etc. That way they won't appear repeatedly in the table of contents. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:56, 22 October 2014 (UTC)
Truncating
[edit source]Wow, very thorough piece. I like your linkages throughout. It is very hard to cut down but you may be able to join like concepts and find opportunities to minimise dialogue. I have put some examples below just to give an idea. I realise it is taking away some great wording and you may not deem them appropriate. Have confidence that you have articulated your thoughts, this can help in the dreaded cull:-)I know it is hard to get rid of interesting ideas. The bold bits are words I added
1.Recidivism If you move the paragraph on recidivism to how often do people shoplift it would flow quite nicely from where you left off there. This way you could probably remove all reference to the AIC etc and possibly just start at In a meta analysis. The Cottle, Lee and Heilbrun reference is probably the most important for your young person theme.
2.What is motivation?
Motivation can be described as the energy, intensity and direction behind the behaviour of a person (Reeve, 2009). To understand motivation there must be theoretical concepts explored to allow further discussion about particular behaviours undertaken. The Motivational theories of self-efficacy, planned behaviour and deterrence are discussed which may allow provide insight into behaviour and understanding of the motives behind a person's decision to shoplift or not.
3.Self-efficacy - just trying to truncate some ideas
Building self-efficacy also involves the use of vicarious experience which involves learning behaviour through other people demonstrating mastery in particular skills in order to successfully achieve a task (Bandura, 1977). Observation of friends and family performing a task may increase a person's willingness and motivation to perform the task in order to 'fit in' with their family or friendship group. This allows people to compare themselves with others that successfully achieve the task/skill which encourages the person to learn and perform the task/skill themselves. They then feel capable Observation can provide confidence in success performing the task/skill successfully themselves because they think 'I could do that' (Bandura, 1977).
Bandura (1989) discusses Various aspects foster an that influence the increase in self-efficacy (Bandura, 1989). Successful completion/achievement of the task is vital to feeling competent, thus increasing self-efficacy. and verbal persuasion (either self-talk or peer support/pressure pep talks) increase also assists with increasing self-efficacy, this may be self-talk or through peer pressure 'you can do it, I just did so you can too'. Further, a calm physiological state will likely improve task competence but also impacts on self-efficacy, for example, if you remain calm, you are more likely to perform a task at the expected level whereas if you are anxious /shaking/heart racing, it may appear as though the task is outside your ability /skill and therefore the chances of increasing self-efficacy is not realised are low because the demands are too high(Bandura, 1977).
Keep working through just having confidence in your subject matter. I hope some of these are useful.
u3120810 (discuss • contribs)
Image Captions
[edit source]Hi, your chapter is looking great just keep in mind that you need to use APA style explanatory captions for your images, have a look at this chapter for examples: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2013/Dreams_and_motivation
Bullet points
[edit source]I suggest using bullet-points for the items in See also and External links. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:19, 28 October 2014 (UTC)
Chapter review and feedback
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements. |
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-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:00, 17 November 2014 (UTC)
Multimedia feedback
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process. |
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