Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Play and emotion

From Wikiversity
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Feedback[edit source]

Hey Alex! From what you have written so far and the structure of your contents it is looking pretty good :) I made some very small edits with your wording - with this sentence: " These types of playing have been given different names such as imaginative play, make-believe play (Singer, 1973), or pretend play (Lillard, Lerner, Hopkins, Dore, Smith, & Palmquist, 2013) all of which referred to the same type of play." this last part here in bold didn't really make sense to me. Do you mean something along the lines of that they all fall under the same concept? Also, with the overview, maybe try and link the significance of emotions into it? Just to ensure that your overview captures the main thesis of the chapter. Also, within your "therapies" section is this where you are going to draw on the research and theories within this topic? When you have more up let me know and I will keep checking! :)

Jade --U3083529 (discusscontribs) 01:38, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Additional feedback[edit source]

Hi again Alex! Just had another read through of your chapter and it is coming along well - overall good job at linking emotion with play! But I think there are a few points you have made that you could probably discuss or define a little further. Here are some suggestions:

  • You could probably give a brief definition/overview of what emotion is?
  • “It is important to make a distinction between abreaction and catharsis” maybe explain catharsis – or hyperlink it
  • “The American Psychological Association (2010) conducted a study, which revealed that children showed physical symptoms of anxiety.” You could maybe expand on this study a tiny bit more?
  • “Children in the heteronomous (obedience to authority) stage believe in ‘imminent justice’, which is passed down from an authority figure (Piaget, 1965)” Maybe expand on this sentence so it is easier for the reader to understand – perhaps explain what imminent justice is and expand upon the heteronomous point you make.
  • “In 1930, Anna Freud and other theorists” which other theorists ?
  • “Once the therapeutic relationship was developed the therapist was ready to analyse transference and countertransference, which were important features of the therapy” maybe explain what transference and countertransference is.
  • not sure if you have finished this part but the sections on Psychoanalytic play therapy, Adlerian play therapy, and Jungian play therapy could probably be explained more.

Also I have made some more minor edits - Feel free to change them if you're not happy with them!:

“The significance of play activities are equally important for the child that lives in a conflictive home and for the one who is raised in a relatively optimum home environment (Hartley, Frank, & Goldenson, 1952).”

I changed it to:

“The significance of play activities are equally important for children living in a conflictive home and for those children raised in a relatively optimum home environment (Hartley, Frank, & Goldenson, 1952)”

“Playful interactions between parents and child promote the child emotional well being increasing secure attachment (Schaefer & Drewes, 2014)”

I changed it to:

“Playful interactions between parents and children promotes the emotional well being of the child, which in turn increases secure attachment (Schaefer & Drewes, 2014)”

“Through play, the therapist helps the child to express his or her emotions given that at early developmental stages that child lack of verbal communication (Mowder et al., 2009)” This was a bit confusing for me to read and was not sure what you were trying to say so I couldn't edit this one.

All in all it is coming along well! Just a little more detail in some parts is needed! Hope this is helpful to you! and good luck!

--U3083529 (discusscontribs) 23:39, 25 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a promising presentation. It could be improved by demonstrating more detailed research knowledge.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. Theory is reasonably well covered, but there is a lack of content which reflects psychological research.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Visual communication via slides is clear.
  2. I suggest using normal casing rather than bold (which can be interpreted as SHOUTING).
  3. Audio is well paced.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. Basic production tools are used effectively to create a basic presentation.
  2. Slide animation is effective.
  3. No link is provided in the description to the book chapter.
  4. No acknowledgement of the copyright source of the images is provided.
  5. No copyright license for the presentation is shown on the slides.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:17, 3 December 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Wikiuutiset logo typewriter.png

Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this is a very good chapter. For more feedback see these copyedits and the comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Psychology theories of play and play therapies are well explained in relation to emotion.
  2. Table 2 relates to infants; what about for children of other ages?

Research[edit source]

  1. Some research is covered and integrated; more detail could be provided about key studies.

Written expression[edit source]

  1. In general the chapter is well-written, although there are several areas for possible improvement.
    1. The Overview is clear and well-written.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long.
    3. Avoid sections with only one paragraph.
    4. See the clarification templates that have been added to the article for further suggestions about where and how the written expression could be improved.
    5. Adding more interwiki links could help to make the text more interactive.
  2. Layout
    1. Add explanatory captions to Figures.
  3. APA style
    1. Check APA style for table captions.
    2. Check and correct alphabetical order for in-text citations.
    3. Apply the hanging indent tag once, with all references included, rather than each reference individually
  4. The reference list is not in full APA style.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:49, 3 December 2014 (UTC)