Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Masochism and motivation

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Contributions draft[edit source]

Hello Tallara, I am writing to firstly let you know that your work in progress is a very interesting read. Secondly I am finding my way around the whole contributions system and am hoping that this works. As you may haver noticed my page is a mess which is also how I clean the house - it looks really bad until it miraculously pulls itself together at the end. It will grow over the week and be polished on the weekend. --Annamoured (discusscontribs) 06:37, 20 October 2014 (UTC)AnnamouredAnnamoured (discusscontribs) 06:37, 20 October 2014 (UTC)

Annamoured (discusscontribs)

Hi T, thank you for the notes I have sorted it now. It's actually done! Now I'm wondering if the association of pain with something pleasant, (classical conditioning?) has anything to do with the anomaly of feeling no pain when lots of pain should be felt. I'm thinking of the farmer who chopped his own arm off to escape the harvester his arm was trapped in, it was a hot day, he was miles from anywhere and he swore that he felt no pain whilst he was removing the arm. Kind of defeats the "getting pleasure from the feeling of pain" but I wonder if it is at all connected? Annamoured (discusscontribs)

Hi Taya,

Great page, very informative! I made some minor grammatical edits, and added some commas here and there :-) I just wanted to point out a few things I wasn’t clear on, sorry if these are all intended and correct. In the second paragraph of your page, "and in these experiments tolerance of pain progresses after the reward has been removed”, by 'progresses' do you mean the tolerance ‘increases’ or that it changes and develops over time? Also, in your section on history, you say "Masochism is remarkable in its absence from history” - do you mean written history? I thought maybe this distinction would be necessary, as presumably masochism existed but wasn’t documented? Not sure though! And in your prevalence section, you say "It has been found to be more proliferate in higher earning…”, just wondering if proliferate is the correct word, since this means rapidly increasing? Or whether you mean more common or more prevalent. Overall, excellent job, I learnt a lot about masochism reading your chapter KerrieW (discusscontribs) 08:57, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Heading casing[edit source]

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:45, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Comments[edit source]

hi, your page looks really great. i did some general grammatical editing, nothing major just some commas and fixing a few words so the sentence flowed more. i thought it might be cool as i have seen on others pages coloured text boxes like the one you have in overview, in which they describe a made up case study or story on an individual. so for example you could write tom is energetic, loves taking risks and frequently enjoys jumping out of planes, he loves the rush he gets form this. why does tom do this? what explains his behaviour? An example of this is in the link --Hynes08 (discusscontribs) 00:05, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

APA style captions for images and tables[edit source]

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:28, 23 October 2014 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.


Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, an interesting topic which included a good general overview, well done.

Structure and content[edit source]

  1. This presentation had great inclusion of research around the different reasons why some may engage in masochism as well as the myths around masochism. It would have been great to see this linked to more motivation theory and perhaps some self-help tips to link to the theme of the book.

Communication[edit source]

  1. Jing was used to create a visually effective presentation. For improvement, the speaking pace could be slower to allow the watcher to follow easily.

Production quality[edit source]

  1. The visual aspects of the presentation were good, and the sound was adequate. Remember to include licensing information, and image references, thus this presentation likely violates copyright law.

Courtney.Bruce (discusscontribs) 03:39, 23 November 2014 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

  1. Overall, this chapters provides excellent coverage of relevant theory, could benefit from a stronger focus on research, is very well structured and written, and could be improved by including more images. For more feedback, see [my copyedits] and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. Masochism is well explained, with nunanced understanding evident.

Research[edit source]

  1. Claims are well supported by in-text citations.
  1. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression
    1. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview with clear focus question(s) (Overview) and Conclusion.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
  2. Learning features
    1. The text could become more interactive by including interwiki links.
    2. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
    3. Limited use of examples - this could help to make the chapter more visually appealing.
  3. Spelling, grammar and proofreading was generally very good, with minor errors noted e.g., see the [grammar?] tags
  4. APA style
    1. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order e.g., (Weinberg, Williams, & Moser, 1983; Weinberg, 2006) -> (Weinberg, 2006; Weinberg, Williams, & Moser, 1983). Also (Baumeister, 1997; Baumeister, 1988) -> (Baumeister, 1997, 1988) and (Haliparn, & Haliparn, 2004) -> (Haliparn & Haliparn, 2004)

    1. To improve the APA style for the reference list, check capitalisation. Issue numbers should also not be used for seriated journals.}}

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:51, 24 November 2014 (UTC)