Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Loving-kindness meditation and emotion

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Comment[edit source]

I noticed that you had your APA format wrong for your references so i fixed it. you had the title in italics instead of the journal name and volume number, also you wrote vol.8 instead of just writing 8 --Hynes08 (discusscontribs) 01:11, 21 October 2014 (UTC)[]

Heading casing[edit source]

Crystal Clear app ktip.svg
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:07, 21 October 2014 (UTC)[]

Figure of positive emotion[edit source]

Hey! Here's that graph I helped you upload :) Just copy and paste the syntax and pop it where you would like it!

INSERT CAPTION HERE

--U3083529 (discusscontribs) 04:12, 23 October 2014 (UTC)[]

Minor edits[edit source]

Hi Prue!

Just had a read through of your page - it is coming along really well! I have a suggestion though (and completely ok to disregard it), Maybe the introduction paragraph could be moved into the overview section??

With this sentence: "what Loving-kindness Meditation is and what if any effect this practice has on emotion" is it effect or affect? James posted this link a while ago on how to know when to use effect and when to use affect: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/affect-versus-effect... and from reading this I have a feeling it might be 'affect' - but then again I get really confused with both. So maybe worth double checking??

Also, I made some minor edits with some grammar throughout and noticed you wanted to provided links here: neurotransmitter systems(link), as well as the autonomic nervous system (link) and the endocrine system (link)" - so I went ahead and linked them for you (I hope that is ok?! and hope that's what you wanted them linked to - if not please change them!!). There was also another part further down "(left-sided anterior)(link)" under the heading Loving-kindness meditation and the brain, I was going to link this for you but wasn't sure what you wanted to link it to so left it and just thought I would remind you it is there.

Overall, a really interesting read so far!

Jade --U3083529 (discusscontribs) 00:57, 25 October 2014 (UTC)[]


APA style captions for images and tables[edit source]

I recommend using APA style captions i.e., Figure 1, Figure 2 etc. for all images, graphs etc. and Table 1, Table 2 etc. for all tables. The caption text should not be in italics. For more detail and examples, see http://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/content.php?pid=113807&sid=1208571 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:33, 23 October 2014 (UTC)[]


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

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Overall[edit source]

A really nicely developed presentation. The 4 mantras are great! Well done.

Structure and content[edit source]

Research and theory are appropriate addressed. The structure is good. The balance between academic content (i.e. theories and research), and practical information is well achieved. Good definitions are provided in order to set-up the presentation.

Communication[edit source]

Communication is a strength of this presentation. The voice-over is well paced, with good intonation and pauses between sentences and slides. It is engaging and warm (nicely complimenting the topic!). Important information is well selected and presented on the slides. Some images are included, however there is room for more.

Production quality[edit source]

Basic production tools are used effectively. The audio quality is good. There is some background noise at points. The visuals are clear. A link back to the chapter is provided and referred to. Image source information is provided.

ShaunaB - Talk


Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

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Overall[edit source]

This is a promising chapter which provides a reasonable overview of theory and research about the emotional effects of LKM. For more feedback, see these copyedits and comments below.

Theory[edit source]

  1. The description of LKM practice is very good; how long does it typically take? Is there a link to a guided audio version?
  2. Theory about emotion seems to be too general; refine the focus of this section to be more focused on emotions related to LKM.

Research[edit source]

  1. Several relevant research studies are discussed.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags

Written expression[edit source]

  1. Written expression was reasonable, but could be improved.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., above, below, as previously mentioned)
    3. subjects -> participants
    4. The Conclusion could be improved by providing some more concrete, take-home messages.
    5. The quality of written expression could be improved (e.g., where clarification templates have been added to the page).
  2. Layout
    1. Figures were used effectively.
  3. Learning features
    1. Some links to Wikipedia and/or Wikiversity articles were added as external links - these should be changed to interwiki links
  4. Grammar and proofreading
    1. The grammar of some sentences need to be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
    2. Check and correct the use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs. individuals')
    3. "that" is missing from several sentences (e.g., "it is clear that biological, cognitive and social/cultural perspectives may all focus on different aspects..."
  5. APA style
    1. The reference list is not in full APA style.
    2. Check/correct APA style for in-text citations involving et al.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:54, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[]